Probably the 10,000th community post about the pink fog but I felt like I had to share with folks who could understand and really, you all are my tribe, so to speak. Nobody else knows about or would understand my private femme life so please excuse the following novel. I'm just now where I've longed to be for decades and it's as gratifying as I always felt it would be. And then some...
My story is much like almost every member here where my interest began at a very tender age. When the opportunity presented itself at the age of 6-7, I would venture into my mom's panty drawer and try on her panties and slips. It felt wonderful! I didn't know then why it felt so good and still not absolutely clear on why it still does but that really doesn't matter to me one wit. That feeling has never left me and clearly it has become a lifelong passion of mine. There are few things that I find as rewarding and gratifying as my feminine expression and, if it hasn't left me in over fifty years, it probably ain't going to.
I'm now in a position where I can indulge my passion as often as I care to and that's basically every morning, evening and the entirety of the weekend (I still work for a living, unfortunately). Due to previous living arrangements, dressing was always somewhat of a high-risk proposition for me. I was confined to stealing moments where I felt safe enough to maybe wear panties to bed or under my male clothes but nothing much further than that. A little frustrating to say the least but it was what it was.
I recently purchased my own place (son has grown up and left the nest) and really couldn't be happier with my newfound freedom. It is incredibly liberating and such a long, long time coming. No more worrying about someone coming home unexpectedly or them finding my hidden lingerie cache. I now have a very impressive panty, bra, and stocking drawer and it's not hidden away under a pile of drab clothes as it had been for almost my whole life. It's proudly front and center!
I hang my dresses, skirts, blouses, and nighties in my closet without having to stuff them where they are unlikely to be found by others. My heels and wig stands are on the upper shelf. I can leave my bubble bath and lady shavers on the bathtub. I can leave my panties on the bathroom floor and freshly washed stockings over the rail (I don't have to but there is something about that visual that works for me). I can leave my makeup out and my jewelry box on the dresser. I shaved my legs and chest for the first time. Did I say how wonderful it is shaving one's legs in a Lavender bubble bath? I'm sure most of you know!
I chose my new home carefully in that beyond the usual interior requirements, I had to ensure that my outside patio had sightlines with absolute privacy (I love the outdoors in the summer). I also spent a fair little bit of dough on improving the look of my little piece of nirvana with plants and artwork and it's great to be able to enjoy my morning coffee dressed in nothing more than a bra, panties and nightie and be fully relaxed and calm in doing so. Nobody can see me and there is absolutely no baseline apprehensive feeling that someone could unexpectedly come home and surprise me into a mad dash to avoid an uncomfortable scene. I go outside every evening and have a glass of wine (always ensuring that I wear lipstick for the full feminine wine glass signature ). It feels wonderful to have a breeze gently ruffle my skirt and my past shoulder length hair while folding my arms gently under my breasts and admiring the sunset or moon. It has certainly been worth waiting for...
I still haven't fully conquered my "baseline" apprehension with being "caught" yet but, I'm getting there very quickly. That is not to say that I am ashamed of what I truly enjoy to my core or that I am doing anything wrong. Far from it. That's definitely not what this thoroughly welcome and newfound freedom is about. I simply prefer to compartmentalize this part of my life and feel absolutely no need or compulsion to explain or justify my choices to anyone. It's no one's business but my own but, on the other hand, I still wanted to share with some one who would understand. Thanks for listening!
PS: I haven't posted much since I joined several years ago but that doesn't mean that I haven't received tons of valuable information and a kind of passive support in knowing that I'm not alone in this journey. It has sustained me more than you'll know. Also, who knew that hair spray would help in keeping my stay-ups in place (the previous bane of my existence) and that contouring with foundation and powder can provide some of that cleavage that we all desire (and that I still suck at but, early days there)? looks like a Nubra may be the way to go!