On the cusp but not quite there yet

[Angela Marie]

I truly never thought I would be in this position. As I noted a few weeks ago I began wearing denim leggings to work. No one has said anything but I now realize that a bridge has been crossed and I want to take it to the next level. Nails, eye shadow, etc. Taking this route I will surely run into people that know me and that is where the proverbial rubber will hit the road. What does keep from going further is that my wife, who is understanding, may think that this is a bridge too far. In addition my children do not know and I don't think it would be received well. Am I placing my own needs above those I love? We can say they should accept you for who you are; but that seems too simplistic given the dynamics of human nature. This may be as far as I take this. If so I really cannot complain. I have had a wonderful life and much to be grateful for. A different time and a different place may have yielded different results. But we play the hands we are dealt.

[kimdl93]

Honestly, you have some decisions to make and some conversations to have, not necessarily in that order.

[bridget thronton]

Telling my adult children and their partners was a good decision on my part - before I thought about dressing outsice the house (my wife knew before our kids)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Angela , It sure sounds like you have gotten yourself between a Rock and a Hard Place, Good luck ,

>>>>>>>>>>>Orchid**oo**

[JulieC]

Life is always about compromises. Humans are social creatures. We have to have interaction to remain mentally healthy. Given that we must have interactions, we make compromises all the time to interact positively with those around us. This is really no different.

[Connie D50]

Angela
Wow after all your other post, I would have never thought your family wasn't on board. I would hate for my children to hear that someone else. My 2 cents if you are going to continue you should talk to the kids and of course your wife. Then you can make a decision . Good luck in what ever you do. Connie

[Stephanie47]

"What does keep from going further is that my wife, who is understanding, may think that this is a bridge too far."

"May" is just speculation. Have you discussed this with your wife? Or, are you just speculating?

[docrobbysherry]

Until you've gone "too far", how will u know where that Red Line is, Angela?

[Rayleen]

Angela, communication is the way to negotiation, I have been that way and its the answer for a happy life.

you and your wife is the first step...

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Children are often highly judgmental, it's true, but you don't give their ages- I assume we're talking about adults?

I just rewatched a lovely movie called Shirley Valentine, about a middle aged woman who decides to make a break for freedom from a tired marriage. Her son is instantly supportive, but her daughter, a young adult who has already left home, is furious, appalled at her mother's non-conformism.

So yes, you risk your children's wrath, "How could you do this to mom?", but what it's really about is their cosy little worldview being upset. On the other hand they may be supportive, of you both - and if you've done a good job of parenting, this is the more likely outcome.

Why not trust them? Give them the benefit of the doubt? - but talk it through with your wife first. To do otherwise would be disrespectful and hurtful to her.

I've no idea where you live, or what social circle you move in, so only you know how your peers and workmates are likely to react. If your life centres around any kind of church, you may be in for a rough ride.

[Angela Marie]

Children are often highly judgmental, it's true, but you don't give their ages- I assume we're talking about adults?

I just rewatched a lovely movie called Shirley Valentine, about a middle aged woman who decides to make a break for freedom from a tired marriage. Her son is instantly supportive, but her daughter, a young adult who has already left home, is furious, appalled at her mother's non-conformism.

So yes, you risk your children's wrath, "How could you do this to mom?", but what it's really about is their cosy little worldview being upset. On the other hand they may be supportive, of you both - and if you've done a good job of parenting, this is the more likely outcome.

Why not trust them? Give them the benefit of the doubt? - but talk it through with your wife first. To do otherwise would be disrespectful and hurtful to her.

I've no idea where you live, or what social circle you move in, so only you know how your peers and workmates are likely to react. If your life centres around any kind of church, you may be in for a rough ride.

Well my life does not revolve around a church in any way, shape, or form. And I live in a relatively liberal area, although there are closed minded people everywhere. I am just going very slowly; a bit at a time. Perhaps at some point I will decide I?ve gone far enough, or not.