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Thread: Had you transtioned at an early age what would your life be like today?

  1. #1
    Paula Paula_56's Avatar
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    Oct 2009

    Had you transtioned at an early age what would your life be like today?

    I see so many young people transitioning these days, the resources and the support just weren't there when I was younger. I know many here are not transgender, but I feel I am and I regret no having transitioned.

    I know in my heart I would have loved living as a woman, I would have been a dedicated mother, and wife. Had I transitioned I would have hope to be a teacher or nurse. I am a teacher now. I still would have loved the outdoors and hoped my husband and I would hike, camp, and kayak. We would have a home in the country and I would love decorating, cooking, and entertaining. I like to do these things now but to do them as a woman and share them with my girlfriends, would make it all even more wonderful. Oh and yes Dogs! I would revel in my femininity, being a girly girl as well as a tom boy at times!

    How about you?
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  2. #2
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Mar 2020
    Central California
    That thought has crossed my mind before. I am not sure where I would be. But I do know that I love to be with and act as a women and not be sexual with a male.
    You seem like a nice Mom. Let's go shopping.

  3. #3
    Girl Power! CrossKimmy's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    San Diego
    Quite different, perhaps better in many ways. I wouldn?t be in this constant fight with myself. That would open doors for me. But it would have prevented me from meeting some truly beautiful people in my life.

  4. #4
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    Paula, I put this thread in the category of, "What if u could take a pill and become a real woman?"

    I mean, who knows!?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  5. #5
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    near Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    Paula, ours is a journey of self discovery beyond simply acquiring assorted life experiences (both good and bad) as we grow and mature, and often in ways that the average "muggle" simply cannnot comprehend.

    Many of us (you included, as I have surmised from previous posts of yours) didn't really understand this "crossdressing thing" in our callow youth, assumed that it was just a passing fancy, and that marriage would "cure" us - NOT! it ultimately turned out. And so, a lot of us simply elected to play the cards that "life" had dealt us, make lemonade out of the lemons, and suppress our feminine sides in deference to our wives, S/O's, and children so as not to negatively impact their lives due to our personal issues. We got married, dragged our unwitting wives and children into this bizarre world of ours, and decided for the betterment of all to keep it closeted and under wraps, all the while suffering in silence. Taking one for the team, as it were. I believe that this was your stance as well for many years.

    It now appears that you have graduated from the crossdressing stage to feeling that you are actually transgender/transsexual and are looking back wistfully on what might have been had you transitioned early in life, and what alternate pathway you might have followed in that case. I personally don't feel that level of gender dysphoria and am quite content to remain a crossdresser. My only regret is not being able to indulge in that activity as much as I'd like to because of my marital situation, so yes - had I stayed single that would have been a non-issue and much easier to accommodate.

    On the other hand, if I hadn't gotten married, I wouldn't have the lovely children and grandchildren that now give me so much fulfilment in my senior years. So, on that basis, no regrets as to the particular pathway I chose way back when in getting married and living my life predominately as a male, but it certainly would have been much easier for me had things been more black-and white from a gender perspective.

  6. #6
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Sep 2005
    Catskill, NY
    Ahhhh....if fishes were wishes.... If wouldas, ahouldas, couldas, had been used....

    If I had transitioned in my early-mid twenties, my life would be entirely different today!

    Unfortunately ( or fortunately, depending on POV ), there wasn't support for the transgendered back then.

    In my teens, had I come out, I'd have been murdered, beaten and raped, hopefully in that order.

    I truly envy the youngsters of today, who have so much more freedom of expression that in my day.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Georgina's Avatar
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    Sep 2005
    N. Ireland
    My life would have been ruined. I now know that I could not live as a woman. None of my interests, except the clothes, are female interests. I enjoy my life as a man and love that I can wear female clothes in my leisure time.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Barbara Joanne74's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    Oregon, South of Portland, North of Salem
    This is a question I pondered many many times over the years. Even in high school I knew deep down inside that I was a woman stuck in a man's body. Growing up in a conservative family, in a conservative community, I had no idea there was a way out other than simply cross-dressing and hiding. I ended up getting married thinking that would fix my desires, but we all know that that didn't help. In fact that made things worse, because she was not accepting of that part of me. So for me I've chosen to keep Barbara closeted mostly and to live two separate lives. This is a choice that I have made and I understand the consequences. I have an amazing wife (25 years yesterday) and 4 amazing children. If they would accept Barbara in their lives, I would transition yesterday, but they won't/would not.

    I recall meeting a young lady working at a fast food restaurant years ago, it was obvious she was in the middle of transitioning. I mentioned to her how proud I was of her and I wish that I could have transitioned at her age to become a beautiful woman like her. We both had small tears in our eyes at that moment.

    Short answer, yes if I had the resources and knowledge 30 years ago that I have today, I would have chosen a different path.
    Last edited by Barbara Joanne74; 07-14-2021 at 06:22 PM.

  9. #9
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    May 2016
    North Carolina
    Thought about this a few times!
    My life would have been totally different! I would have been totally acclimated to the life of a female! That would be fine, but...
    My beautiful children would not have been born! My lovely wife would not have married me but who? Good, bad, or indifferent?
    I am a transwoman and I am loving it!
    Change the past, no thanks! I will keep the present!
    Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member
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    Apr 2006
    oshawa, ontario
    my life has been one big lie after another it could not have any worse id i transistioned earlier

  11. #11
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    Mine would have been so different. I would have still been an engineer but not in coal. Probably a designed and builder of solar and wind power, pink bedazzled wind turbines as far as the eye can see! Then do a lot of traveling around the world. Start a successful airlines and branch into space flight. Be the first billionaire trans woman in space! Marry the woman of my dreams and have a couple exceptionally bright kids (she has them not me!). Life would be awesome plus some! Que the Lego Movie music and fade to black.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Mar 2013
    Interesting idea. To consider an answer, I would first have to presuppose that now or in the past I would consider transitioning. So, supposing that I had, I would surely not have a life in any way resembling what I have now. My church would have exited me and ended my career path as a parochial school teacher. My family relations would have become strained, if not broken altogether. I would never have married (much less met) my wife nor raised our five children (exit three grandsons as well). Given my shy and reserved nature, it is very possible I would have never gotten out socially or found a soul-mate. So, in my particular case, I would certainly not want that life instead of what I have now.

  13. #13
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    Feb 2020
    Sac Valley
    Bleak, no kids and late bloomer so would have horrible to be forced to make that drastic of a change in life.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Jun 2017
    Central Fla.
    I'd like to think that my life would have followed a path similar to what I've done in male mode -just doing it as a girl/woman. But who knows? A change that big would probably have thrown my whole life into a wildly different course.

    But being realistic, the truth is this:
    I couldn't possibly have transitioned at an early age. There was nothing around back then (the stone ages?) - no medical, psychological, community, or family resources - and I was already a painfully shy, frightened, and emotionally fragile child. There was no way I could have ever gathered up enough courage to even SAY what I felt, let alone pursue it.
    In many ways I still can't, even today. That's why this site is such a Godsend to me. It is the only place where I feel safe enough to discuss what's going on inside my head, heart, and soul.

  15. #15
    Platinum Member
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    Jan 2010
    Honestly, I think it would have been a catastrophe in my case. Basically, the most positive things achieved and experienced during my life would not have happened. Given the times, its likely my life would have been miserable and brief.
    Our only truth is narrative truth, the stories we tell each other and ourselves, the stories we continually recategorize and refine. Such subjectivity is built into the very nature of memory. Oliver Sacks

  16. #16
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Agree with both Sara and Kim. Times were different, when I was young (and I like to think not that long ago, but how time flies), there was limited acceptance and understanding, and 95% of professions would have been off limits, perhaps not officially, but certainly defacto due to non-acceptance by most. Much respect to those who blazed that trail at the time. As Kim said, all of the positive things I've accomplished would not have happened given those circumstances. Maybe it would have turned out better, but objectively speaking, given the conditions, the odds of that would not have been good.

    Maybe a better question would be if I was young today would I transition and the answer would be absolutely. Given the support and acceptance (relatively), if I was mysteriously 17 today again, I have zero doubt that'd be the path.

  17. #17
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    Oct 2011
    Arlington Heights, Illinois
    Back when I was living as a girl, I tried various jobs and being a waitress was the worst.
    I did like working as a chef assistant in the kitchen of at Phil Smidts Restaurant in Whiting, Indiana and if the resources and money to transition was available back then I was all ready to transition when I turned 21.
    Unfortunately for me, my parents already put me thru 2 years of college and the money ran out.
    I did get a Associates Degree in Business Management and Administration.
    The thought would be I would could make it if I owned my own business, after my transition, as a girl, in a mans world.
    I am sure I would own my own "fancy" upper class restaurant. Candy's Chophouse has a nice ring to it.
    I would have hired the prettiest waitresses and would have uniforms for them that were tasteful, like the stewardesses in the 60's.
    Who know with todays reality television and the food channel, I could have been a celebrity chef like Rachel Ray, Julie Child, Giada De Laurentiis, Paula Dean, or Ina Garten.
    Yes, I do think about it often...what if? Today, I am "over it all" and okay with what I did with my regrets anymore.
    I still do cook, I am the homemaker of our household so in that respect, some things didn't change.
    I make a tangy and complex Beef Stroganoff, Buttermilk Chicken tenders, Quiche Lorain, Trojan Stuffed Porkchops, Braised Lamb rolls, and Curried Venison Stew.
    Last edited by candykowal; 07-16-2021 at 01:30 PM.
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
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    Oct 2017
    I would have missed out on forty five years with the love of my life. The problem with theses types of speculations is that you can't just change one thing.

    More germane to me is what would happen if I transition now.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  19. #19
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    Quite obviously it would be drastically different.
    At this point I'd still be retired, but what career path I would have take is a complete unknown. At that time Transgender women weren't common and little would have been available to me so to speculate is just that. I would hope that I would have been able to teach, but ...
    I would hope I would have married and had a lasting relationship including lots of friends and family.

    While fun to dream at that time it would have been more like a Twilight Zone episode.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  20. #20
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    Jul 2011
    Yeah. Part of me wishes I had transitioned earlier. I often fantasize about what it would have been like to have spent my entire life as a female, starting before I even went to school. Or going full time in my early 20s. I would have avoided a lot of frustration an heartache, but we’re talking about the late 1960s or early 1970s. Women were treated badly, and transgenders were, at best, nothing but flakes and weirdos. I would have traded one set of problems for another, probably even worse problems. As it was, I chose to remain in hiding. It was probably a good choice, given the times.

  21. #21
    Ugly Princess
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    Jul 2021
    Wisconsin eastern wisconsin
    I often wonder about this too. I hope I would look decent enough to be a model, or maybe a clothing designer. I would have had a smaller body frame size back then. I wouldn't of had any resources to go through with it due to a learning disability and other issues that come with it. I would have been 18 in 2000.

  22. #22
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Unfortunately, the dream and the reality are two entirely different things. Growing up, I really believed that I would eventually be turned into the female that I thought I was supposed to be. Of course, that was never going to happen. Genetics had planned for me to be six foot four, with giant hands and feet. There was never any way for me to become anything like a normal girl.
    Also looking back, had I transitioned, I would never have had a life as a normal woman. Even today, the vast majority of people don't consider TS folks to be what we transition into; they consider us 'Male to Female' or 'Female to Male' Transexuals, not men or women. The number of people who might be interested in a transexual person romantically is even fewer than the number of women who might be okay with crossdressers. My life was basically screwed no matter what happened. I had to make the best of what I was left with. I could have afforded to transition, but to what end? To become a huge homely woman, instead of huge homely man? Only in the magical world of Shrek would that work out well.
    No, the only problem that transitioning would solve, would to be to decrease the GID. But it would have brought about a whole new set of problems. In the end, I just decided to live out my life, as is, and just crossdress to satisfy the GID that I do have.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  23. #23
    New Member
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    Mar 2007
    Deep South
    I've actually been thinking about this quite a lot over the past few days. Looking back, I truly wish I'd had the opportunity to transition before puberty and genetics shaped my body. Even though I've had the freedom and support to express myself, I've always felt like the "man in a dress" with zero hope of ever passing. If only I had the narrower shoulders, more feminine voice, and full head of hair and could have prevented the impact of hormones over the years.

    I've had a good life by many measures (career, family). I'd never trade my family, but I can guarantee they would want me to be the happiest person I could, even if I were mom instead of dad. In terms of the rest of it, passing as male is a privilege and likely a factor in my career success. I would have made career sacrifices, but if I had transitioned much younger, I probably would have made an appropriate career choice.

  24. #24
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
    That's an interesting thing to ponder. But who knows?
    Last edited by Ressie; 07-23-2021 at 04:55 AM. Reason: didn't read the question correctly
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  25. #25
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Jan 2011
    Area Zona
    Wow, Ressie. Hmm?

    Anyway, since I have come to the life time of crossdressing conclusion that I only have a forbidden fruit desire to transition, I would probably be a butchy lesbian or just be a bit of an older tomboy at this point.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

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