Di,
First, thanks for these types of questions and your comments. For many, it's the only female perspective we get on a range of issues.
My situation is a bit unusual. My wife and I have been married 29 years. She's known of my interest since we met 36 years ago. I go out occasionally with her knowledge and more often without her knowledge (she has told me, "lie to me"--so I do; our version of DADT).
She's Australian (I'm a Yank) and we have a second place in a Melbourne suburb. Usually (when there is no pandemic) we travel there in mid-January. I return to the US in mid-March, and she returns later, staying an extra month or two or three.
In 2020, she stayed from January to early November, so we were separated for 6 months. She didn't want to travel during that time, and mostly prefers her home country.
The separation does mean more chances for me to dress, which I try to take advantage of (although we do have an adult son living with us, who doesn't know, so that is an obstacle).
In short, I have both worlds, with and without. I'd like to have the best of each--her company and more dressing--but we don't always get what we want. I try to make the best--and lately that has included dressing when down under.
If nothing else, being a CD means you need to be adaptable.
