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Thread: Alone

  1. #26
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    I'm one to say I hate living alone, I get so down and empty when being alone. Last year my wife and kids went to our summer home for a few weeks. The first few days I dressed like crazy and then after I let the stem out I got very lonely and miss the action and drama of having the family away. I believe a few days to let it out is a good thing but that's pretty much it for me for alone time.

  2. #27
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    I would not like living alone at all, even though it means being secretive with a wife who would be totally non-accepting. Here's why: It was during a two week absence, when I had the place to myself during the day when the kids were at school, that I explored more deeply into crossdressing in answer to the angst I felt. Needless to say, I enjoyed it and still do, but not the alone-ness. I would like the occasional day to myself for some CD fun, though. I'm glad not to be alone since it provides a regulator to keep my 'peculiar pastime' in check, so I don't do too many stupid things. I do have ample things which need to be done which could be neglected if I had unlimited free time to dress up.

  3. #28
    Senior Member Princess29's Avatar
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    I have spent much of my adult life being alone (aside from a wonderful family but it would be nice to have my own circle and group) and have lived on my own for 12 years now. Almost no friends and no social life even when there's no global pandemic on. I can dress any time I like, however I like but usually don't bother getting dressed up and if I went out, it will be on my own or sitting in a room full of strangers.
    For those who have a hectic family life and/or those who have been struggling during lockdown etc who are craving for some space, I hope you get it but as the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it

  4. #29
    Member SissieScott's Avatar
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    I would NOT want to live alone. Before meeting my current wife I lived alone and dressed whenever I wanted, but never felt fulfilled. It is so much more fun to have someone to share it with. Not to mention the tips, tricks, and help with zippers and bra straps. Even male mode in public , we have fun with inside jokes, innuendos, and "If they only KNEW" moments" because I am under dressed
    "Out of ALL the thing I have lost, it's my mind that I miss the most"

  5. #30
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    I'm torn.

    I love my wife dearly, and positively dread the idea of facing life without her.
    But
    She is the biggest obstacle to my pursuing the life I wish I could have.

    Yes, there are times when I imagine what I might do if I were free to dress and act the way I feel - whenever I feel like it, and as long as I feel like it.
    No, I don't want to throw away the really good life I've made for myself to go out and chase rainbows - no matter how much they call to me.
    Practicality trumps "what if" for me every time.
    But still I yearn.


    <sometimes reality sucks>

  6. #31
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    Me too. I love being a part time woman. I have dreamed of being catered to. Women get to dress and wear pretty clothes and I am somewhat jealous

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Living alone is a double edged sword. There are times when I truly enjoy being alone and free to dress whenever I want. But it is how I got there. My wife of 49 years died in February 2021 of pancreatic cancer. I miss her terribly. She was totally against my cross dressing. I had to secretly dress all these years. I tried to quit but the need was always there. My Kendra time has always been part of my life. I wish I was passable but no way I am. No one knew except for my wife.. I wish I could have her back but cross dressing is my way of partially coping with the grief

  7. #32
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    My ( now ) ex-wife of 29 years wanted a divorce. Six months after our separation and me moving out of our home, I started living full time, 24/7 as Jodie.

    No regrets.
    Last edited by char GG; 07-26-2021 at 09:46 AM. Reason: Good try
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  8. #33
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    What I have build with my SO is so important to ever wish I was alone. But I must admit sometimes, deep inside, i crave a few hours for me. Sometimes, the opportunity shows by itself, but I dont wish for it.

  9. #34
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Hi Di. The dressing is important to me. But if given a choice between dressing and seeing my wife she wins. In the past years, before my coming out, she went twice on a 3-week thermal cure far from home, which gave me two weekends in between to dress for full days, something I could never do otherwise. But I also had a possibility to join her for the second week-end each time. And I took that opportunity every time.
    And yes I looked forward to this alone time and enjoyed the dressing. It thrilled me in anticipation. But I was also sad to part ways for so long. And I cherished these moments together in the middle of the long separation. It weaved nice memories.

    Our couple had a long break a dozen years ago. For almost a year I could have dressed every week-end and evening. As it turned out I only dressed a handful of times for rather short sessions. I was sad and lonely and didn't feel like doing it. For better or for worse, I suppose like to dress only when my wife isn't a stranger to me, maybe because I need to be reasonably happy to enjoy it (or maybe because I needed the thrill of hiding it. I seriously asked myself this question. But I still like to do it now, after the reveal, so, well, maybe not).

    Again, even if I dress very rarely, it means something important to me. But not as important as my wife.
    "So, I'm a crossdresser. Mmh. What's that thing, again?"

    Considering telling your SO? Read this fine manual first: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner

  10. #35
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Aside from my cat, I live alone.

    I like it.

    Besides, I refuse to bow down to the tyranny of the matriarchy!

  11. #36
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    I love laying in bed with my wife in the morning and at night too much to ever want to be alone. A few hours during the day sure but most of that time would be used for more than dressing

  12. #37
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Thanks to everyone for their honest answers .
    The question was after reading over time a few that bash their wives over the divide over crossdressing. ( some sound like they hate their wives ) Many get very upset if the crossdressing time is cut out over a family emergency.
    I am glad to see most have balance .
    To those that are alone and want to stay that way that is good too, I understand that.
    For those unhappy, I hope you find peace .

    Now to all the longtime members do not roll your eyes lol / this is for the many new members that join Daily ( many early twenties and mostly just read) this is for them .
    Many believe after you meet the One?...your crossdressing is behind you.
    I believe it always comes back, just be honest to your loved one . This can be worked out .shared or not but really can not such a big deal . You can work things out after marriage but many feel betrayed. Be easier to sort this out before hand.

    We all want our best life ,everyone deserves to be happy .
    Last edited by Di; 07-29-2021 at 11:40 AM.
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  13. #38
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Di, Great advice to our younger members, yes the urge to crossdress will almost definitely come back at some point and if you tell your SO later on they do feel betrayed.
    Crissy

  14. #39
    Aspiring Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Even though Im alone, and dress when I want, I rather be with my partner but will not get back in a relationship at my age
    Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.

    Rayleen

  15. #40
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    I do enjoy living alone and not having to worry about anyone elses' thoughts on my dressing. I can dress and usually do everyday and feel good about it. Most of the time my laundry consists 95%female and 5% male items with a few unisex mixed in.

  16. #41
    Member Brynna M's Avatar
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    My wife and I are so deep into DADT that it might as well be a secret and I would never burden my 5 yr old some with my secret. Even with so few opportunities to experience more feminine things I still would never want to give up my family. Crossdressing will always be a part of me and I will always need to take care of that part, but what i would have to give up being alone but completely free isn't worth it.
    I'm content being a once in a while girl.

  17. #42
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Hi Di,

    I love my wife dearly and do not wish to live alone. However, should something ever happen in our marriage where I end up alone, I have no desire to seek out another live-in companion. There is something that can be said for too much togetherness. I do appreciate it when she leaves for a few days. It gives me a chance to catch up on my never ending Honey-Do List while living as Robin.

    Of course, I wish things were different. I didn?t give into my feminine side until I was 56, 20 years into our relationship/marriage. It got to the point where I just could not contain it anymore and it was either accept this side of me or go crazy. Before I bought a stitch of clothing, I had the talk with my wife. She knew something was bothering me and was happy I came out to her. Sadly, at the time I was not in a good head space and could not convey my true feelings. I told her I wanted to ?feel? feminine. Well this did not go over too well and while she said she would be supportive she was really resentful to the whole idea. She did tell me to wear what I want when the need occurs and not to worry about her. Just don?t go prancing and flaunting around the house. Since we never talk about it, I always feel uncomfortable fully dressing when she is around. I do wear a few things in front of her, usually shorts or leggings, and she never says a word. If I had the opportunity to do it all over would have come out differently and not used the word ?feel.? I should have said something like ?I?m curious about the clothes and want to experiment.? I think she would have handled it differently. Had accepted this side when I was young; I believe my journey through life would have been much different.

    Cheers!
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

    It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.

    Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!

  18. #43
    Member AllieBellema's Avatar
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    I do live alone, although that's mostly by choice as I've never really seeked a life partner. Not that I wouldn't mind having one, although they would have to be accepting of my feminine side as this is a big part of my life now and I wouldn't give it up for anybody or anything. Living alone does allow me to live without limits on how I live and what I wear around the house though.

  19. #44
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    My God Robin...did this post hit home...I could have written it myself with only the age difference in giving in to out feminine side being different (I'm 69 wife and I married 40 years)
    Like you, I could not contain - or in my case deny my fem side anymore. But now I'm out, and I feel free - feels absolutely great!
    I had "the talk" with my wife the other day. It did go well I think. I did use the words "curious" and "experiment" and it did soften the shock quite a bit I think. She was not resentful, but surprised...said she needed time to process all of this...and she has it. I will not push her at all, but right now there is a 600 pound gorilla in the room neither one of us is talking about...but we will. I do not intend to wear any articles in front of her (but if i were to drop my pants the bikini panties might render that statement false!) So now we are at an amenable DADT arrangement. We'll see how it goes.
    Like you, I also wish I had accepted this part of me as a younger man. My life's journey would have been so much different...maybe harder actually. However, I am also finding that coming to CD late like this allows me to take a few steps back and really savor the now. .."Because life is to short not to."
    And I also love my wife dearly and do not wish to live alone!

  20. #45
    Member OrdinaryAverageGuy's Avatar
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    My wife is my best friend, I can't imagine living life without her. If she had flipped out the first time she saw me in a skirt or a bra, I simply wouldn't crossdress, just like I didn't for years before that. Fortunately, although we did have the standard talk (no I'm not gay, Yes I want to keep being a man), she quickly became supportive. I do enjoy some quite time now and then, but I'm talking a few hours, a weekend apart is difficult for both of us.

  21. #46
    Aspiring Member kellyanne's Avatar
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    I have lived alone for 30 + years but always had many interests and friends so feeling alone is not an issue. As a youth, there was a really strong self reliance movement in camping, how to navigate the woods etc and IMHO it greatly influenced me.

    The main reason for being single for me was, as a naturally happy go lucky spirit who has always been active and happy, giving up a life of certain happiness for great uncertainty about a spouse even accepting " who I am" , let alone the travails of marriage,
    for me seemed unwise. I know happy couples but they are very rare and know far more divorcees. Past 50 now and rare is the day I feel alone but we are all different and some of my close friends, like some ladies here, could never stand being alone.

    I know many physically robust fellow who one may think - ya he looks like the rugged individualist - but no - big guys are no different than most guys - we have need company, it is just the way they are and there is nothing wrong with them to want a social structure of support - it is natural.

    I wonder if birth order plays a role in singledom.
    Last edited by kellyanne; 08-20-2021 at 04:18 PM.

  22. #47
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    Di,

    First, thanks for these types of questions and your comments. For many, it's the only female perspective we get on a range of issues.

    My situation is a bit unusual. My wife and I have been married 29 years. She's known of my interest since we met 36 years ago. I go out occasionally with her knowledge and more often without her knowledge (she has told me, "lie to me"--so I do; our version of DADT).

    She's Australian (I'm a Yank) and we have a second place in a Melbourne suburb. Usually (when there is no pandemic) we travel there in mid-January. I return to the US in mid-March, and she returns later, staying an extra month or two or three.

    In 2020, she stayed from January to early November, so we were separated for 6 months. She didn't want to travel during that time, and mostly prefers her home country.

    The separation does mean more chances for me to dress, which I try to take advantage of (although we do have an adult son living with us, who doesn't know, so that is an obstacle).

    In short, I have both worlds, with and without. I'd like to have the best of each--her company and more dressing--but we don't always get what we want. I try to make the best--and lately that has included dressing when down under.

    If nothing else, being a CD means you need to be adaptable.
    I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:

    https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/

  23. #48
    Member Sandra_Dodds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharlotteCD View Post
    I don't want to live alone. I do want more time alone though.

    I'm the type of person that needs time alone to recharge, and also craves time alone to dress. It's no reflection on my wife or daughter, but on me.
    You said it perfectly for me Charlotte.
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  24. #49
    Member Rileyaz's Avatar
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    Di,
    I lost my wife 20 years ago this month. I was 43. I still live alone, and although I would rather not I accept it for what it is. I have the opportunity to dress 12 hours a day every day and for the most part I do. Unless I have some other obligations I typically change when I get home from work. I don't always do the full make up. Maybe it's because I am lazy but I am going to try it for the next 30 days.

  25. #50
    Member Erin Lafleur's Avatar
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    First and foremost, my deepest condolences to those that have lost loved ones. That's a different kind of alone and my heart goes out to all...
    I have been a single Dad for as long as I can remember (my son was two at the time when I obtained custody) and he has now left the nest at 27 years old. A fine young man, if I do say so myself!
    Like most of us here, my interest in all things feminine began furtively at quite a tender age and has never left me. It's basically been five decades of a desire that has never waned but, has always been hidden due to the unchanging desire to not complicate my life or those around me. What's different for me now that I no longer have to hide my lifestyle choice is that it has given me a greater sense of ease and comfort with who I really am. I no longer have to hide that very important and authentic part of my life.
    Rather than stuff and/or hide my feminine wares, I can now proudly display my clothes without any judgement or fear of being "found out." That's huge for me and it has been literally life changing. I now have a pantie, lingerie, stocking drawer that is proudly displayed, not hidden. I hang my dresses, skirts, blouses, nighties with care and pride. I no longer feel that I shouldn't light scented candles, display flowers or feminine artwork (recent purchase attached).
    I had always felt that my femme desires were ok, it is who I am. I just never thought that the complicated process of having to "hide" who I really am would be both unnoticed and to me and so unwittingly oppressive. I had no idea.
    So, in my case, being alone works wonderfully!
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    The most common form of despair is not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard

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