It's been eight years since my wife of 40 years passed away and like Lana Mae I am living full time as I transition. My wife was accepting and supporting but needed attention to deal with her health issues. I was a willing caregiver. Since then I've had a couple of my kids or their kids living with me but for maybe a year in total. I've become very comfortable living alone and resent when I unwillingly become obligated to temporary house guests (This week is a good example. An adult grandchild with semi-controlled mental health issues was kicked out of his house and has been with me for a few days. He needs a caregiver but because of his schizophrenia he is non-responsive much of the time. I need feedback and interaction so he won't be back with me again.) Back to the thread now. But like Lana Mae, I really do miss sharing touches, smiles, discussions about minor things and the human contact that comes from living with a trusted partner. At my age it's possible but unlikely I'll ever have that experience again and that can make me sad if I dwell on it. So I move on.