Interesting discussion. Just thought I would add my take on your situation Natalie.
Some of us tend to lump DADT all together but there seems to be varying degrees. The two main categories being:
1. Wife knows you have girly things in the drawer. She knows you dress up when she is away, but really does not want to see it at all. The attitude being- remove everything from sight and do not try to talk about it, but I know you have women?s things.
2. Category two is what I have - complete non acceptance. She knows I like to wear certain things as I have been caught and has been discussed in times past, but she is not going to ask me about it and expects me to not bring it up. In that sense, it is DADT because there is an agreement that it can not be discussed. The difference is I am not allowed to own even a single pair of pantyhose without getting in very hot water. Nothing feminine. Period.
So It seems your wife is really leaning towards category 2 - non acceptance. Category 1 is a small degree of acceptance or tolerance. In both cases DADT applies only because it is not a topic up for discussion, but in reality they are quite different.
Sandi
