Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 41

Thread: Looking back on your journey ...

  1. #1
    Junior Member Stephanie 334's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Location
    Middle Tenn
    Posts
    74

    Looking back on your journey ...

    to where you are now as a CD'er/girl....can you remember back to a specific point that started you on this journey or was it just a slow gradual process?

    Was it easy for you to evolve because you had support from your wife, girlfriend to dress femme, or as I know for some you had to do it secretly?

    I'm asking because I know some girls had it easy making this transition forward, and others much more difficult.

    For me, it was pretty easy since my wife indirectly got me going and had no issues going forward other than I use to borrow her makeup from time to time and forgot to put it back.

  2. #2
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,720
    I started gradually from nail polish at the age of 3 to full dressing when I was in highschool. Acceptance was a quantum leap. I went from hiding and ashamed to embracing and proud almost over night.

  3. #3
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    4,430
    I went from red lipstick about age 12 to full dressing by 13-14. (All secret of course)

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    606
    For me it has been a long, chaotic scramble of ups and downs, guilt, depression, uncertainty, desire, longing, excitement, frustration, fear, anxiety and inspiration. Thank heavens I was able to find a life partner who, though she didn't understand it any better than I did, was willing to stand with me while I tried to work it out.

    Now she's gone and after seven decades of struggle I still can't really say I've fully embraced my own nature.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    21,410
    It has been a very gradual process, beginning with some vague memories from very early childhood. From there on, it s been the familiar three steps forward - two steps back pattern, including periods when my former wives initiated, encouraged or at least humored me. Lots went wrong in those relationships (both long) including some other personality/behavioral issues and accompanying errors in judgment. To be truly honest, the cumulative effect has been to leave me a somewhat disheartened person.

  6. #6
    Junior Member Stephanie 334's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Location
    Middle Tenn
    Posts
    74
    To be truly honest, the cumulative effect has been to leave me a somewhat disheartened person.

    Yes, Pretty much my story as well along with some serious professional work issues as well.

    But those life experiences have left their mark on me but not concerning my female side.

    I am starting a new path in life now, alone literally and I have no idea what lays ahead for me. But I am trying to bring forth my female side as my primary gender...self...who I am. But I am having problems putting it into action. I am experiencing some sort of "block" where I just can't bring myself to taking the time, effort etc to become totally femmed up. I've done nails or worked on my brows or did foundation etc, but I just can't bring myself to bringing out Stephanie.

    My wife passed away after a year long battle with terminal kidney and liver disease and I suspect that is mainly responsible for the "block". She passed away this past June. It left me totally broken and pretty much destroyed, but that's expected when your with someone for 27 years and she was the love of my life, best friend and soulmate.

    My wife and I discussed what I was going to do once I was alone and she had no issues with my plan to be in female mode most of the week being here at home and alone, not counting the 10 dogs she left me with to take care of.

    I've bought some wigs and a breast plate for my planned going femme most of the time, but really haven't done much with any of it.

    Anyway, my thinking is, at some point soon it will all kick in and Stephanie will emerge and we'll go forward with my "new life's path".

    But I do know that each one of us girls all have a story to tell...

    Enjoy Ladies...
    Last edited by Stephanie 334; 08-08-2021 at 03:41 PM.

  7. #7
    Laura So Cal Laura28's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    882
    For me I would have to gradual with long gaps in between. Started when I was young probably 7 to 10. Of course my mothers slips then bras and her dresses. In high school when I had the chance I would try something items on. Then went dark for about 8 years when I was married I would dress using my wife?s clothes. She new I liked to dress but again not a lot of urges early on. Then I hit my fifty?s and hit me like a brick, now with the resources to own my own clothes I really have gotten into it. My same wife knows and is fine she just doesn?t want to see me dressed. She will even buy me a blouse or panties and bras on occasion. Now I am totally shaved 100% of the time paint my toes often she loves when my toes are done because she knows I will do hers as well lol. She also loves me smooth all over. I then experimented with hormones off and on then I got the courage to talk to a dr and get prescription hormones did this for a little over a year and made great progress but I knew I wasn?t going to transition so I stopped. Good news I now have a 38 Full C chest and love it. With the pandemic I wasn?t traveling for business so wasn?t able to dress. But travel has started again and I am dressing when on the road.
    Last edited by char GG; 08-08-2021 at 10:13 PM. Reason: The discussion of non-surgical breast enhancement is prohibited.

  8. #8
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,709
    Maybe I was born this way. There were different highlights throughout my life starting at a young age. I only had one GF that was really supportive 40+ years ago.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Location
    Central Fla.
    Posts
    694
    I didn't have a specific point where I got started - unless you want to count being born. My feelings, urges, or whatever you want to call them have always been with me.

    Was it easy to evolve? Quite the opposite, I'm afraid. It has been a lifelong struggle to fight off the negative beliefs that were so deeply programmed into my head in my early youth. Even today I still struggle.
    Last edited by SaraLin; 08-09-2021 at 05:56 AM. Reason: typo

  10. #10
    Member Charla's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    South Virginia
    Posts
    173
    The earliest conscious thought I can remember was wanting to be a girl. I fantasized about finding a potion or plant that would convert me. Dressing in my female relatives’ clothes was the next step.

  11. #11
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Denver, Colorado
    Posts
    1,233
    It was a slow process for me. I recognized when I was about 4 that I was somehow different from the other boys. I had a certain attraction to girls the other boys did not have. I just immensely enjoyed being with girls. At 4 that is certainly not a sexual attraction. By the time I was 7 I wanted to be accepted as one of them, even though I still played with the boys. At 8 I felt I wanted to be a girl, yet it was not a constant desire. It was a mix from early on. And now at 76 it is still a mix where the male-like portion and the female-like portion of my identity tend to support each other and interact in dealing with situations where gender behavior is important or relevant. Very non-binary.

    SaraLin, the description in your second paragraph was just the way it was for me until 9 years ago when I surrendered and ended the war. Never been happier.
    Last edited by GretchenM; 08-09-2021 at 08:15 AM.

  12. #12
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    NEPA
    Posts
    9,192
    First memories are about age 5 wearing moms lingerie.
    First outfit and makeup (horrible attempt) in high school.
    First real outing in college.
    No real support until I at last came out about 15 years ago and wife became accepting and helpful.
    Never would have imagined at 15 where I am today and have no idea where I'll be in 15 years.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,850
    When 3 or 4 years old I always played with a group of similar aged girls, I was chosen to be a baby as I liked being pushed around in a stroller or pram.

    Later I always played dress up with them in old discarded clothes. The big crunch came when I went on a Sunday drive dressed as the others were in our Sunday best.

    I was about six at the time and I still have that dress in a box wrapped with tissue paper.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  14. #14
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    428
    3-4: Sister and a friend dressed me in her dress. I enjoyed it too much in the opinion of my parents. I would regularly suggest my sister dressed me up, and my parents wouldn't allow it.

    5-10: Went to bed every night wishing that I was a girl

    11-18: Dressing became a sexual thing for two reasons. The clothes my older sister wore changed into tights, stockings, fitted dresses, lingerie etc. Confusion during this period as I thought I wanted to be a woman, but was led to believe I was just a transvestite because it was sexual.

    19-27: Had cancer during this period and totally lost any sexual feelings, and didn't have any motivation to dress. Serious brain trauma was possibly a big part of this.

    28-29: FaceApp became "a thing", and I went into a crazy dysphoria period when I first used the app. My desire to dress increased massively, and I started to buy my own clothes and makeup. Bought a wig for the first time. Started to question if I was actually transgender.

    31-Now: Wife discovered my clothing, I told her I was on the trans spectrum. Didn't go too well, but we're still together in a DADT relationship. Started going out for the odd walk. Out to 8 or 9 of my closest female friends and became more visible. Accepted that I am transgender and would transition if I didn't have non accepting friends and family. I'd rather be an 80% good dad than a not-dad/not-mum who may lose access to their daughter.

  15. #15
    Member Christina89's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Posts
    277
    I remember being younger than when I started dressing I used to ask my mother why I couldn't wear girls that were advertised on TV. When I was 12 I really started to get an interest in wear female clothing. It was all thanks to a show called totally spies. When i was first starting it was hard to dress since I was using some of my mother's old clothes. As I got it got easier. I'm still hidden in the closet.

  16. #16
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Posts
    40,269
    Hi Stephanie , It had to be 74 years ago when I was 4 years old, >Orchid**OO**
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  17. #17
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    22,541
    I struggled for 10 years all alone. Confused, embarrassed and ashamed!

    Then, I discovered cd.com and all of u! That changed everything! Within 2 years I was traveling to T events all around the country meeting some of u here and hundreds of other dressers!

    And, after my shots I am back doing that again!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Geena75's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    968
    I would describe my path as a series of starts and stops and retreats over 50 years. It has really just been in the past year that I really made peace with myself and began really enjoying this 'peculiar pastime.' That is when I started working with my whole look, and liking what I see.

  19. #19
    Junior Member Stephanie 334's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Location
    Middle Tenn
    Posts
    74
    Ressie...

    You said, "maybe I was born this way"...

    You might be closer to the truth than you realize.

  20. #20
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    England
    Posts
    2,249
    I started at 8yo and it was a difficult journey, all sorts of emotions, good and bad though the years, teenage years were difficult for me, hard to admit what I was, then on to a non-supportive wife through to finally coming to terms with me and finding that inner peace an an acceptance of this is me

    Wouldn't it have been fantastic back in the 70's / 80's to have a website like this where you could see that you were definitely not alone

    Having said all that, I am where I am and I like where I am, I like who I am

  21. #21
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Midlands UK
    Posts
    6,091

    Glacial change

    My first recollection is at about the age of 4-5 trying on a pair of yellow and white nylon frilly knickers and wearing them to bed. Mom's stockings and girdle proved to be a draw through into my early teens and then things subsided until my GF came along and I found myself drawn to femme things once more.

    Occasional try-ons of dresses, size 9's squeezed into size 7's shoes, nothing of my own for years. My first real acquisition was a hand made blond wig. I span a story to some female wig makers that the long blond wig I wanted was for a life size doll my wife was making for our first child. The tales we tell eh! That wig in "borrowed" dresses and balloon wigs saw me taking night time drives, drives that went on for a good few years. The wig was eventually lost when having changed before heading home, I left the wig on the car roof never to be seen again. I often wondered what anyone finding it thought.

    The arrival of the internet and then on-line shopping was the game changer. My own clothes, shoes that were my size, and of course finding out you weren't alone and there is a community of like minded souls out there.

    Solo holidays spend enfemme brought about a growing confidence along with support for this forum and meeting other CD'ers until that first day when I stepped out of the car fully enfemme and walked into my first shop. And the rest as they say is history. A history spanning half a century.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    East Yorkshire UK
    Posts
    731
    hello Stephanie,
    my journey has been in the following order - tights, panties, nighties, skirts, shoes, perfume, dresses, make up, bras.
    I dress in private with the support of my wife. The journey progressed when the children had grown up and left home.
    It all started when I was about 7 years old when I "borrowed" my sister's tights so I could dress up as Robin Hood. That wasn't cross-dressing or was it?
    stay healthy,
    Luv J

  23. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    12,466
    Although I do not consider it the beginning of a journey I suspect others may. My first foray into women's clothing was trying on my mother's full slips because I loved the feel of the nylon. The fabric was unlike any of my clothes. I have no thoughts of being a girl; wishing I was a girl; it was just the fabric. It wasn't until puberty that I expanded into my mother's undergarments; granny panties, bra, girdle and hosiery. I have no idea why I started down that road. Now I have over twenty Xerox boxes of women's attire.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    Orlando, Fl
    Posts
    584
    My journey was like most others. I dressed deep in the closet as a teen. Got married hoping it would cure me, but it didn't. Finally came clean with her and went through that as a DADT. My journey was slow until like that until I met my current wife. Since then it has progressed fairly quickly and easily. Prior to her it took 30 years to progress. My current wife and I have been married for almost 13 years.

  25. #25
    Junior Member fiona de wilde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    Holland
    Posts
    70
    There are pictures of me dressing up when I was four. I guess it must have been there then. The real start came when I was 42 and my new partner started stimulating me to dress as a woman.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State