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Thread: I think we've found a good place

  1. #1
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    I think we've found a good place

    It has been a much faster journey than I would have ever predicted; but, my wife is quite accepting of my dressing. When I'm under dressed, including bras and forms, she has no issues with tight embraces and deep kisses. I ALWAYS tell her how much I love her and how lucky I am to have her as my wife. Those are not just platitudes. They are statements from my heart. I believe she has discovered when I am fully dressed (nighties or dresses) I will do her beckoning without question. After dinner tonight, I walked the dog. After that jaunt, I vanished to my bathroom and the spare bedroom. When I reemerged I was wearing my silk reflections thigh highs, my black dress, black bra, and forms. I sat in my recliner and we continued watching TV. About 8:45 this evening she casually said she'd like some popcorn. We buy the mini bags of it. I immediately responded that I'd be happy to microwave it for her. So, while she's relaxing on the couch (she lays down and is on her laptop in the evenings) I head off to the kitchen to get her popcorn going. When I returned with it, I gave it to her, leaned over her with my breasts (okay, just breast forms) hanging over her, and got a nice kiss as my reward for serving her. I believe she is realizing her wonderful acceptance has its benefits as I will do anything she asks of me. This week she had me cheerfully paint her sewing room (one of our 2 spare bedrooms). Naturally I was wearing thigh highs, bra, and breast forms under my painting clothes.

    I cannot begin to express how much more comfortable I am sitting here in my dress, bra, and stockings than I was at 6 p.m. still in my slacks and golf shirt. It really is a whole different world of comfort.
    Last edited by Heather76; 04-09-2022 at 09:50 PM. Reason: misspelled word
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  2. #2
    Member Marissa Q's Avatar
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    Good on you, Heather, and your wife as well. There's absolutely no reason why -- whilst embracing femininity and CD'ing -- we can't still be the same or perhaps even more responsive people to our SO's than we can. A calm and accepting mind is a thankful mind and it sounds like your wife is realizing that there are substantial and verifiable merits to your gender journey. Heather might just be the person she's been looking for all along.

  3. #3
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Heather, it's nice to see that you gained acceptance and enjoy yourself with your progression in dressing. Just make sure you don't enter a drip drip situation where you keep pushing the envelope without your wife and you agreeing on the corresponding boundaries beforehand. Compensating with little attentions is nice, but there's also the risk of entering a transactional mode where you push boundaries ever further (drip, drip) without discussing them first, and think that additional attentions will sell the thing to your wife. You say that it "comes from the heart", but in your wife's shoes one might think that if she stops giving you the leeway that you expect, she might stop getting the attentions as well.
    You told us that your wife lets you dress in the evening. But did you discuss what it covers exactly? Did you discuss boundaries at some point? Dos and don'ts? I sampled a few of your threads but can't tell if you ever did. You mention a lot of your wife's comments and how you interpret them (and as CDers we have a HUGE bias of interpreting wives' comments to our liking). But they are not actual discussions about the subject of crossdressing. Meanwhile, like others have observed in some posts, you are moving fast. If you are leading the way like it seems, there is the risk of going one step too far one day and loosing the acceptance you gained until that point (at least judging by countless testimonies in these forums).
    If you have a communication line with your wife about it, if you frequently ask how she feels about it, then you should be good. If you don't, you should definitely open one. Take care.
    Last edited by DianeT; 04-10-2022 at 02:39 AM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Diane, I appreciate the insight. The hard boundaries at this point as we have discussed are:
    1) She does not want to see me wearing makeup (which I also interpret to include a wig).
    2) When I am with her outside of the house, I am not to wear anything that will embarrass her. That is to say, when we go to church, no bralette as the straps would likely show. But, if we are going to Home Depot, a bralette with A cup inserts is fine as the odds of seeing anyone we know are slim to none because of how far we have to go to that store. If I am out by myself, I can wear a bralette with inserts. I can also put my forms in while out by myself so long as they are removed if going into any local businesses where I might encounter folks we know.
    3) Obviously panties are never an issue as are stockings so long as I'm wearing long slacks and my regular socks so the stockings (either sheer or fishnets) are not visible.

    Whenever we have guests coming to the house, I'm to move everything out of my bathroom (the guest bathroom) into my dresser drawers. If they are overnight guests, I also am to empty the guest bedroom closet (dresses, bras, nighties, and suspender stocking as well as thigh highs attached to garters) and hang everything in our master closet.

    She has made it abundantly clear that:
    1) I can wear at home whenever, and whatever, I want (barring the makeup).
    2) Not to ask her if this or that is okay as she doesn't want me to keep beating a dead horse by her having to keep saying, "Yes, That's fine."

    Finally, I really have always tried to do a myriad of small things that show her my love for her. Throughout our marriage she has never had any doubt whatsoever that I love her with all my heart and believe her to be the finest, most caring and most considerate person I know. When I say those things (and I tell her often), I'm not blowing smoke up her a--. I truly mean them as she is that wonderful of a human being. On top of all that, she's extremely intelligent.

    The only true hard boundaries we've ever placed on one another is NO CHEATING for any reason whatsoever as well as no outright lying. A more flexible boundary is no secrets. Cheating is an immediate disqualifier for the continuation of our marriage and the offending person is out the door without further discussion. Fortunately for me she has agreed if I were ever given the opportunity to bury my face into Dolly Parton's boobs that would not violate the No Cheating rule. That would be accepted as a miracle as well as a dream come true. With regard to lying, my constitution is I cannot really even keep secrets from her for very long as I feel as though I am lying when withholding something from her. An excellent example was having to tell her I had started wearing panties after a few months of doing so on a part time basis. I could have continued do that for years on end and likely not have been discovered. After telling me she didn't understand why I enjoyed wearing them, she then told me she didn't understand why I thought she needed to know. Well, duh, because I want her to know what I'm up to.

    In reading the above, there is one other hard boundary. If I were to ever lay a hand on her I don't want to go to sleep in her presence as she does have 2 old fashioned cast-iron skillets with which she'd beat the living crap out of me. That "threat" was made before we married as her best friend was a physically and mentally abused wife for several years until she was able to break away from her husband. Of course, I can't imagine any man treating any woman like that. I tend to put most women on a pedestal as that's where most of them belong.

    As mentioned in another thread, I would like to present Heather to the public. Had the weather cooperated, this past week while she was away would have been a great opportunity. Since it didn't happen, I suspect it will be quite a while before she is gone overnight again. But, if I ever got a burning desire, I would simply tell her I'd like to travel about 60 miles south to a much larger town (area population of 230,000) where we know zero people, spend 2 days and a night so I could dress completely and go out during the days to parks, stores, etc. She knows me well enough to know I have no interest in clubs, bars, etc. and being out at night. I enjoy car shows and if there is one in that area I could kill 2 birds with one stone.

    Again, I do appreciate the insightful words and cautionary notes. They are worth paying attention to.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    Heather, I think you have found a wondrous place. As the Billy Fury song goes. The pace of your journey is amazing. You have done more in the last few months than I have done in the last 48 years. Congratulations. Your relationship with your wife is very precious and special.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Heather, It is wonderful that your wife is so accepting. I admit I also treat my wife like a queen for allowing me to dress.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heather76 View Post
    With regard to lying, my constitution is I cannot really even keep secrets from her for very long as I feel as though I am lying when withholding something from her. An excellent example was having to tell her I had started wearing panties after a few months of doing so on a part time basis. I could have continued do that for years on end and likely not have been discovered. After telling me she didn't understand why I enjoyed wearing them, she then told me she didn't understand why I thought she needed to know. Well, duh, because I want her to know what I'm up to.
    Unfortunately, this is something lost on many men. I don't know why, but there are many men who believe that if they never utter a falsehood to their wives, then they are good. They can always say "I told the truth". The problem is that, at least in my experience, women expect to be told the entire truth. What is not said can be every bit as much of a lie to speaking an untruth.

    This is something that plays directly into crossdressing. From what I've seen on this forum, the biggest problem women have in discovering their husbands are crossdressers isn't that they're crossdressers. It's that their husbands didn't tell them. The betrayal is far worse than the knowledge their husbands are crossdressers.

    Heather, kudos to you for being such a man as to not want to hold anything back from your incredible wife!

  8. #8
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    So you become more submissive when you dress and your wife likes that. Some women like to be the dominant ones in a relationship and some men more submissive. Good plan.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member WandaRae2009's Avatar
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    Great for you. Seeing your relationship with you wife gives me hope that some day ours will progress as well.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Had a funny conversation today; but first, some background is needed. I'm 76 and very old school. If I'm not wearing a casual dress shirt, I'm wearing a golf shirt. I have not owned a long sleeve shirt in well over 30 years. My casual dress shirts are all of the button down collar variety. I simply don't care for collars that are not button down. Every golf shirt I own has a pocket on the left breast. I really don't care for golf shirts without a pocket. Unfortunately, they have become almost impossible to find. Kohl's, my go-to place for years, quit selling them a few years ago. We did find some at Dillard's about 15 months ago and bought a few. Big mistake. In short, they were crappy shirts. My wife shops for my shirts and gets frustrated not being able to find them any longer. She keeps harping at me to wear golf shirts without pockets.

    Today's episode. I was driving home from a place I volunteer at. I was wearing long slacks and a golf shirt. My golf foursome had a tee time for this afternoon. As I'm driving home, I know the temps are such (72?) that I'll want to change into shorts for the afternoon. I looked at my golf shirt and realized my shirt wardrobe is really dated and they are getting in "ratty" condition. When I got home, I told my wife I had something to tell her. I told her I have made the decision I'm going to have to live with golf shirts without pockets and anytime she'd like to start buying them, I could use 12 -15 shirts. She was ecstatic and overjoyed, but also questioning my sanity. She then said, "Why the sudden change?" I replied, "I got to thinking and I guess if I can wear dresses, I can certainly wear golf shirts without pockets." She responded that although she doesn't care for the reason, she's happy with this result. lol!
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  11. #11
    Reality Check
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    It's good things are going well with your wife. My wife also doesn't like to see me in makeup (even lipstick) because she no longer wears makeup. The wig is acceptable though and I think you would feel more complete with a wig. You are wearing one in your avatar photo, does she know about it? Has she seen you in it?

    Find a way to bring up the subject and see what she says.
    Krisi

  12. #12
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Krisi, I doubt she is aware of the wig. I've not said anything to her about it; but, she also isn't stupid. She could easily discover it if she did even a minimal amount of investigating what is in my closet. Also, she knows I'm on this web site; so, it's possible she's visited here and learned who Heather is. At some point I do expect to approach the subject - when I think the time is right. As mentioned before, I'll likely tell her I want to take a couple of days away from home so I can dress up 24/7. Also, she did NOT get a pedi yesterday that she was planning to do; so, if I'm available when she gets one, I'll suggest I join her. I figure getting a pedi may lead to a discussion on a mani which is just a hop, step, and a jump from discussing wigs and makeup.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

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