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Thread: Druthers

  1. #1
    Senior Member Christie ann's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    out and about


    My preference would be to go out fully feminine. Not dressed to the nines, but full on wig and makeup and trying hard to look as female as possible. Now with the perfect storm of pandemic, retirements , kids moving home and a literal spider nest in my wig when I finally rescued it from its hiding place in the crawl space ( gotta think that one through) I barely have the time nor the stuff to go out as I would like. I am thinking hard about joining the ranks of a man in a dress, skirt, leggings?what ever. At least for a little while. It?s been so long, I just have to go out. I have an out of town trip planned in a few weeks, and I am thinking about possibilities.

    What kind of experiences have you had when being out and about as an obvious male wearing obviously female clothing?
    Thanks for any insight

  2. #2
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Southeast US
    Hey Cristie,

    While I prefer dressing in full, sometimes I do a partial feminine attire and like so many others have stated, you typically will either get compliments or indifference. I have several posts talking about it. It?s funny because sometimes you strike up conversations with women who otherwise might not engage in conversation. An example is like the time I was in an elevator testing out my new Jessica Simpson heels and chatted with some girls, so go for whatever you are comfortable with. It is fun.


  3. #3
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    To each her own, Christie! Do whatever blows your hair back!

    I personally HATE the negative attention I get dressed at vanilla venues. Yet, dressing to blend makes me barf!

    So, I just don't go out to the mall, Denny's, etc., dressed!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    I went to Kickback Jack's the other night in Hickory, NC in skinny jeans and a white, lacey blouse. I had on earrings and makeup, too. And I sported the burliest beard of anyone in the restaurant. No one seemed to bat an eye and the waitress was super friendly.

  5. #5
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    Mostly the reaction is indifference, in my experience. But I have found that some women seem to be curious. I can't say they approve, but most seem to accept it on someone other than their husband. Of course, the latter is an assumption based on us married folks and our experiences at home. My wife has become accepting of a little bit such as my wearing flats around the house as well as having women's sweaters and other more or less unisex attire. But it is still limited and that is OK with me.

    As for the men I have found that you become invisible to most. But some are also curious and I have a suspicion that most of them are gay although I don't know they are. Perhaps they are accepting just because you are somewhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

    In general though my sense is that people are much more tolerant of variation now simply because they are exposed to variance a lot more these days. But that does not necessarily mean they are supportive or even accepting. It seems to be a more "live and let live" attitude. On the other hand there are those others that are pissed off with anyone who does not toe the traditional and stereotypical lines with total loyalty. I suggest you quickly move away from them because they tend to bite hard.

    So, Christie, I think you should give it a try. Just mild at first and then add various items until you notice more people frowning or giving you the evil eye. Then back off a little and find the place where you are happy (most important) and the public is not hostile. Keep in mind though there will always be those who disapprove. If there are not a lot then you are close to the sweet compromise spot. And it varies a great deal with the neighborhood you are in so take that into account when judging reactions.

  6. #6
    New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    I have had more great experiences than I can count. I guess that's why I keep going out dressed. I get compliments on clothing and makeup, people start up conversations, SAs and wait staff are courteous and friendly. Groups of people have gone out of their ways to invite me to join them after seeing me sitting by myself at a bar or restaurant. Any opportunity to get out, regardless of your degree of femininity, is a great opportunity.

  7. #7
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Arlington Heights, Illinois
    I am of the school where I like to present in a tasteful manner and not to overstate or flaunt ....I never want to look or come off like I am mocking women in general.
    Being overly padded or wearing clown like makeup, Phyllis Diller Hair....for me personally, is a big no no.
    I really only want to be noticed as a nicely dressed upper middle class person or lady who looks fresh and clean, personable.
    I feel, if your presenting as a CDer, just to attract the attention of curious ladies, you're still a guy.
    Your not fully presenting the true feminine inner you that you really want to be. But, that is just me.
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  8. #8
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    New Zealand
    I get "sir'ed" either way but people here are 99% nice and treat people the way they want to be treated.
    Pretty sure they have a laugh in private, but I enjoy being female even if the camera disagrees.

    IMG_20180201_084551.jpg 20200322_062530.jpg
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Hi Christie Ann, , The only Rule in the Crossdressers Handbook is that there are No Rules ! >Orchid**00**
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  10. #10
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    I do not go out as a "man in woman's clothing". For me, it's Krisi or Homer, never "Kromer".

    For one thing, I have no desire to wear women's clothing unless I'm presenting as a woman, but more importantly, I don't want to be seen by neighbors or people I know as a man who wears women's clothing.

    Having said that, my jeans and shorts are from the women's department, but they are the plain, unadorned kind and look like men's jeans and shorts, but less baggy.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Christie ann's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    out and about
    Everyone, Thanks for the input.
    Rachel, that is exactly the look I was thinking of. Normally, wig and make up, but it just can’t happen right now and I am feeling the pain,
    I was reminded of a post here a bit ago, where a grand dad said his grand daughter said grandfathers could wear dresses, but they would look silly. We only look silly because people aren’t expecting it, it is incongruous with our past experiences. So, I guess it’s up to some of us to expand those experiences for everyone else. Just a little while ago, it was unthinkable that I could wear my exercise leggings to the store after working out. Now it’s just a thing. And, yes, I am sure there are chuckles in private.

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