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Thread: Disappointing night

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    I think you input was awesome. Let them think what they want as it's up to them to change it and what you said was hard hitting facts.
    Good job!

  2. #27
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    Maria, I am glad you and your wife spoke up. I will agree with many others that people act "politically correct" and appear supportive of others, but, in private it is a different thing; disgust and hate arises. The issue of transgender athletes is a lightning rod on the issue as seen in many statehouses that have enacted laws restricting transgender youth and young adults in sports.

    My experience in group settings is people make the assumption you think like them if you say nothing. I have a tendency to let people hang themselves and express their hate and disgust and misguided opinions before I give them a blast from my (verbal) shotgun. If you cut someone off too early in the conversation you really do not have a chance to educate them.

  3. #28
    Member Brynna M's Avatar
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    Maria,

    I don't think anyone here is surprised by this as even those of us in the closet are highly aware of transphobic behavior we encounter in our daily lives. I don't want to think about how many haters their are out there.<shudder> I'd rather focus on places and people like here where we all don't agree on everything but most people are accepting of wherever in the gender envelope we as individuals fall.
    I'm content being a once in a while girl.

  4. #29
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    While I understand all of this, if a male student said I'm trans I should play on the women's team tomorrow, I think they would still have all the strength and over power most of the players. I'm not sure where the dividing line needs to be but something has to balance this out.
    It seemed this before in the trans acceptance battles. We want to fight the noble fight of acceptance for all, which is great. I still think we'd be better off finding those ideal situations where no one would argue something needs to be done and put our efforts behind those. Gaining some acceptance at the cost of others would give us a foothold in the door. Once people get used to the idea that it's just how it should be for some people then we could start explaining how others belong there too. I've said the same feeling about the bathroom rules.

  5. #30
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    I think people take sports way too seriously. Personally, I think it's a display of I'm better than you nonsense.

    I've been in the middle of these mob hate discussions concerning transgender. People support their personal hate by creating a general rule from a particular event
    which violates the first law of logic. I generally don't respond but when I do, I just mention that a very close family member is transgender.
    True statement as I am my closest family member.

    That changes the subject quickly.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member ShelbyDawn's Avatar
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    I have never understood how people can be so closed minded when it comes to issues like this. There are examples all over the place where gender is not a true binary, in fact, I did a bunch of research for a story I'm working on and the result led to this paragraph, all of the points are documentable, so if you get into one of these situations in the future, pull out one of these:

    "There's all kind of crazy stuff in this world, just go to Walmart at 2 AM and you'll see plenty, but that's not what I'm talking about. Did you know there is a slug that has a disposable penis? Yeah, it gets rid of it after it mates. There's even a worm that infects male Mayflies and turns them into girls, now how weird is that? Things like oysters changing sex as they get older and, in some species, when the leader of the pack dies, one of the others changes sex to take charge, now that's some freaky stuff, right? Fish, frogs, snakes, butterflies, birds and lobsters, hell, they all do it; earthworms can even be three sexes, male, female, and hermaphrodite at the same time and there's a snake that can get itself pregnant."
    I am Me and Me is OK!



    Shelby

  7. #32
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    Why waste your time arguing with people? They are allowed to have their opinions, and arguing with them accomplishes nothing. You won't change their minds, and they won't change yours.

    Given the world is burning down around us right now, I can't imagine why sports is such a pressing matter to anyone right now. We have more pressing matters that everyone, trans or not, need to focus on instead.

  8. #33
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    There is a difference between arguing and standing your ground when some ignorant person is spewing filth out of their mouth.

    I have never argued with anyone about gays, if it is right or not, and I won't. I just state I have gay friends and don't have any issues with them. That pretty much stops the conversation.

    What would the world be like if you didn't stick up for each other?

  9. #34
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    I think its more of an issue of what generation you grow up with . I was shocked when one day I found out what a HUGE racist my ex father-in-law was towards Asians,Germans and African Americans. He grew up in the 1930,and 40's . He served in WW2. We talked off and on for years , then one day, he flat out told me" Look, I'm too old to change how I feel about _________ and ________, you teach your kids what you want and hopefully the world will be better for it". It took me a long time to understand that some people won't change no matter what and until a majority of their generation passes away there won't be much change.
    Kelly DeWinter
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  10. #35
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    Trouble is, do we ever really know another person? So often there is a public face which is ?acceptable? and then hidden behind can be darker thoughts, beliefs. Alcohol can be a release valve. I suspect that nearly all of us harbour some beliefs that others might be surprised or shocked by. It does not make us bad, we might be lacking knowledge, experience. We might be fearful. We might never have really thought things through, discussed our beliefs. You were so right to say what you did. No real point in making more of it but put down your marker of what you believe. At the very least you know a bit more about friends. Well done.
    Last edited by char GG; 08-26-2021 at 06:06 AM. Reason: Paragraph was duplicated

  11. #36
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Exclamation This is NOT a political rant, but has bearing on the discussion

    WARNING! This post contains some references to things that MAY trigger others.

    Prior to being let go in March 2020 due to Covid, I was working as a Temp worker for a company that sold gun parts, military memorabilia, and other things related to camping/survivalist enthusiasts. The owner and the majority of staff were very conservative and Right leaning. This was prior to my coming out and living as Jodie Lynne, obviously.

    In the 2 years that I was there, I had to listen to the employees spew anti-LGBT+, anti-liberal, anti-Left, and plain racist statements, all while biting my tongue so hard, I almost bit it off!

    But in all of that, the worst of the hate and vitriol was saved for the transgendered community. Pedos. perverts, molesters, I heard it all, and couldn't say one damned word because I needed the job. Worst of all was that my silence was taken for agreement.

    In June of 2020, I got a call from my Agency, saying that the client company wanted to know if I was available to work. At this point, I was living as Jodie and my Agency was aware, I actually went on a couple of interviews as Jodie! I asked if the client was aware of my new status, and the Agent said she would call me back. Twenty minutes later, she called and said the client made a mistake and that it was another temp worker they wanted. Odd thing was, I was the ONLY temp with my given boy name working there! Go figure.

    So for the people that think everything is hunky-dory, and all is peace and light in the world, think again!
    The above is why I am opposed to hate speech laws; If we make it illegal, or socially unacceptable for people to speak their minds, then we DON'T eliminate the problem, we merely drive it underground. And I would prefer to know where the haters are, so I can protect myself and others.

    We have to pick & choose our battlegrounds. If I had stood up to the haters, I would have been out of work at a time when I desperately needed a paycheck. And no, anti-discrimination laws don't apply, since my employer was the Agency, not the client. The client has a right to dismiss any temp, for any reason.

    In closing, I applaud the OP and her spouse for speaking up, and I hope that they will re-evaluate their friendships with the trans-phobes.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  12. #37
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Maria, I'm glad you held your ground. I have also stood up to people who spew hate. I don't think I changed any minds. But did the right thing.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  13. #38
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Mod Warning.....

    This thread is NOT about trans athletes but about how the OP/wife responded to a conversation.

    If you want a thread about trans athletes, start one.

    To everyone: Not just the last few that I've deleted.....

    Stop taking this this thread off track or it will be closed.
    Last edited by char GG; 08-28-2021 at 05:50 AM.

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