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Thread: Hot/Cold Supportive Wife

  1. #1
    Junior Member Larissa Cassandra's Avatar
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    Hot/Cold Supportive Wife

    When I came out to my wife last year, she went through the expected emotions - surprise, shock, fear that I was gay (not), and that I would some day completely transition and no longer be the man she married (I won't). Over time she came to a level of acceptance and support that I'm very happy about. She's helped me with clothes, taken pictures, and bought me gifts. In fact last Christmas all my gifts were for Larissa! But lately (last few months) I've detected some changes in her reactions when I'm wearing something feminine or have a little makeup on. Sometimes she comments how pretty I look, and other times no comment, and even a look of (for lack of a better term) embarrassment for me. Like she's sorry she ever offered support. If I press her on this, she'll deny it, so is it my imagination? Am I just too sensitive? Anyone else experience these kinds of ups and downs with a supportive wife, and how did you handle it?

    Cheers,
    Larissa

  2. #2
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    She loves you and wants to support you but maybe some times she might be tired of it/ wants her hubby she married. But this is only a guess . For you to really know is ask her . Your imagination might be running wild . Just talk get on the same page. There is a thread in the loved ones section / in the stickys called Now I like it Now I do not .
    https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...It-Now-I-Don-t
    Last edited by Di; 08-27-2021 at 10:29 PM.

  3. #3
    Just being true to myself Jolene Robertson's Avatar
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    Hi Larissa,
    I've been open and supported by my wife for 10 years now and we talk a lot (the only way it can work). Sometimes I get caught in the FOG, and dress everyday for a month or so and she gets tired of seeing Jolene and wants to spend time with her husband. Which I do understand but don't always consider. So it's good that we do communicate or things could go bad. I guess I'm saying all that to get to the fact that when we are fortunate enough to have a spouse that accepts us we need to listen and ask when we notice something is not right.

    Hugs
    Jolene

  4. #4
    Senior Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Larissa Cassandra View Post
    Anyone else experience these kinds of ups and downs with a supportive wife, and how did you handle it?

    Cheers,
    Larissa
    Communication is the only way. Even if she denies any negativity, just put it back on yourself, but still talk about it.

    It went a long way for us when I brought forth all the possible objections she could possibly have before she brought them up.

    I know this is not what you expected of in a marriage.

    I know you don't like seeing me dressed up.

    I know you fear I am gay.

    It gets the conversation going and instead of putting her on the hot seat it makes you out to be the bad guy....girl.

    Let her know you love her and have no intentions of leaving.

    I have told my wife many times that she is stuck with me, high heels, boobs and all. I plan on tormenting her until the day she dies!

  5. #5
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    She obvious loves and wants to support you.

    We don't know you or your marriage. So check yourself: are you overwhelming her with CD talk? Has it become more of a topic than other interests? Do you often ask for dressing/makeup help. If so, how much is too much. You should find these things out.

    As others have said, communication is the key. Remember to take her on "dates" as man and wife often.

    It's great that you have support at home.

  6. #6
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    As your wife, she probably feels it is her duty to accept you and do things to make your happy. At the same time, she really does not like it. A majority of wives I have met over the course of many decades feel that way. She hates it but also wants to support you and she is really frustrated. You will have to talk to her and get her to tell you how she really feels, and what the limits for her are.

  7. #7
    Junior Member Larissa Cassandra's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for your kind and supportive replies. Even though my wife is open to communication, it sometimes seems so awkward and stressful, and I can't be sure if she's being honest with me. I fear that Vickie is right and she really hates my dressing but will put up with me anyway. She often tells me what a good MAN I am. I've noticed this more since I came out to her.

    Jolene, I've had the same FOG experiences (like right now!), but because I'm only out to my wife I have to be in male mode whenever we go out (often), so she does get those breaks. (And Char, I do take her on dates as man and wife often.)

    Pumped, I love your last paragraph! My wife is stuck with me, and I hope my dressing isn't tormenting her (I knew you meant it as a joke), so I'll keep trying to balance my need for dressing with her feelings and concerns.
    Last edited by Di; 08-27-2021 at 10:22 PM. Reason: Against the rules criticizing what others wear you know darn well that one thing does not equal the other

  8. #8
    Silver Member giuseppina's Avatar
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    Hello Larissa

    It seems to me this may be a delicate situation. You know your wife best, but I would be inclined to have a chat with a duly qualified and licensed mental health professional before talking with your wife. Your primary care physician is an excellent source for a referral if s/he doesn't handle your issue themselves.

    The Now I Like It, Now I Don't thread Di mentioned is: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...It-Now-I-Don-t .

    Edit: The approach in your last paragraph is IMO asking for a fight. Don't do it that way. This thread (by the same author) contains good advice: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...ner&highlight=
    Last edited by giuseppina; 08-27-2021 at 08:52 PM. Reason: cautioning OP
    Cheers
    Giuseppina

  9. #9
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Larissa, Your last paragraph says a lot. I agree it may not seem fair but for those of us that came out to our wives after we got married, and this is me, they did not sign up for any of this. We are the ones that caused this mess, I did, and have to take responsibility of it.
    I also know that having a conversation about this when your wife does not want to talk can be frustrating.
    We are who we are, I honestly believed this was not part of my life when I met my wife so no reason to mention it. That is correct in my mind but not my wife’s.
    I wish you good luck and will tell you to listen to the GG’s here, in particular Di and Char, they can give a perspective that none of us can.
    Last edited by Crissy 107; 08-27-2021 at 09:01 PM.
    Crissy

  10. #10
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Larissa Cassandra View Post
    Thanks everyone for your kind and supportive replies. Even though my wife is open to communication, it sometimes seems so awkward and stressful, and I can't be sure if she's being honest with me. I fear that Vickie is right and she really hates my dressing but will put up with me anyway. She often tells me what a good MAN I am. I've noticed this more since I came out to her.
    s.
    But you do not know if she really hates it ..please make the effort to communicate with her. You do not say how long has she known, ect.
    Her telling you what a good man you are is a good thing.
    Since we do not know the details
    REMEMBER this it took you how many years to come to terms with your feminine side, you can not expect her to be on the same page as you especially since you find it awkward and stressful to talk openly with her.
    It can get better, it needs to be about both of you , we have many couples that make it work for them.
    After you are here for awhile you will see there are some that would give anything to have a wife that is trying to understand and be supportive in her way,
    Also there is a FAB section here if she would like to join for a safe place to talk, learn ect we have many a lot of successful couples. Because if you are in the closet ( guessing you are and not out to everyone) she also is now in the closet . So FAB is a great place for partner to talk.

    When you try to talk to her just tell her you have a hard time and it is awkward for you just ..say that . You both are probably way off base what each other is thinking . Going on this journey together can make for a intimate close relationship.
    Last edited by Di; 08-28-2021 at 12:38 AM.
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  11. #11
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    In our family, I "check in" with my wife at least every month, I ask open ended questions, and LISTEN to her replies, I don't try to change her mind or discount how she feels (not that you are"
    People sometime when we get older want thing "like they were" and the truth is the only thing constant in life is change.

    I've long ago stopped trying to read peoples expressions or lack of comment on something I've said or done. I'm not a mind reader.

    From your post you have to keep in mind, YOU dropped a big change into your family dynamics pond and your spose so far has done a great job of riding the waves. As the waves become ripples
    don't expect constant affirmation that thing are going to be OK. Give her time she may have regrets from time to time which IS normal. I'd start by examining your last 48 hours to see what you have done
    that might cause a pause.

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  12. #12
    Junior Member Larissa Cassandra's Avatar
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    Thanks, Di, for your thoughtful and helpful reply and suggestions. I will definitely follow up on them, but it's a scary proposition. I feel like by bringing it up I might ruin the support I think I have from her. Also, for the record, I was not criticizing anything anyone wears. I was simply pointing out the all-too-obvious double standard that our society places on men for wearing certain things and looking a certain way, while women can wear whatever they want (which is fine by me!). I'll be more careful with my wording in future posts. I guess there's no point in whining about our current social situation, so I'll confine my comments to coping with what we have to deal with now. Specifically, as you point out, I do have a loving wife who does at least at times put up with my "differences," so I need to communicate more so we both can feel more comfortable with each other and our situation. Sometimes I think it was easier hiding Larissa from my wife and wish I hadn't told her, but now the genie is out of the bottle and there's no turning back. Thanks again.

  13. #13
    Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Important thoughts all around! This is a very valuable thread for many if not most of us. I have just begun down this road with my wife as well, having just come out to her recently. I have no advice here, but am reading all comments in hopes of navigating these waters as effectively as possible. I think this thread should become a "sticky" - essential reading for all!

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Hi Larissa, does your wife have an outlet other than discussing with you? A friend or relative in the confidence? Otherwise like Di suggested joining the FAB forum here maybe a great help to her. No matter how much a wife is supportive (or not), she may need to share and vent outside of your couple. You seem to me perspicacious (or interested) about your wife's feelings, so you probably know that it's complicated for our wives to tell us everything the exact way it is because they know some words can hurt, this is why they choose at times to give us a PG-13 version. The FAB is a safe place for them to share these things and not feel alone.
    Last edited by DianeT; 08-28-2021 at 04:52 AM.

  15. #15
    Member Lori Ann Westlake's Avatar
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    Larissa, my reading of this is that your wife does love you and wants to support you, but is currently having some issues with your crossdressing. However, she may not want to tell you this for fear of hurting your feelings. This is an immense act of kindness on her part, but it may mean she's not being completely candid with you about how she feels.

    If you can somehow talk with her in a way that makes her "feel safe" to express her feelings more openly, that would be a great advantage. Otherwise you'll just need to look critically at how much your dressing may be impinging on her life and her image of you.

    Now I too was lucky enough to marry a very accepting wife who has been thoroughly supportive and downright enjoyed "Lori," She thinks it's fun, and we've "had fun" in the bedroom too. And I can't recall her ever voicing any resentment of "Lori"--except for one occasion when she made a snippy remark about how much time I was spending experimenting with home-made "squishy plastic boobs"! However, let's not forget that "VARIETY is the spice of life," as the saying goes! And more to the point, my wife, like yours, did marry a MAN! She still wants to keep HIM around most of the time.

    So being mathematically minded, my question is "How MUCH of the time is that MAN still around for her. to keep her happy and satisfied?"

    Obviously the credit for my wife's acceptance goes to her, for which I've been profoundly grateful. But I guess I've been lucky in mySELF as well, in not feeling the need to be "Lori" more than part of the time. So the vast majority of the time I'm still "Larry" to my wife. Naturally I recognize that "your mileage, like that of others, may be different" in this respect.

    There are three aspects to this. The first is what proportion of the time we spend "dressed." In my case it's fairly limited, though I "need" it just the same for all that. To be honest, I'm lazy about doing makeup and all that, otherwise I might dress fully more often, but what the heck! Anyway most of the time my wife is seeing "Larry," the man she married, not Lori, and she knows he's not going to go away. So you might ask yourself how much time you spend as Larissa in front of your wife, and whether it's "too much" for her.

    The second aspect--in my case anyway--is how much time you spend in "mixed mode." Now in my case. some of the time I'll just toss on a skirt and panties, with a cute little slip underneath, and walk around the house like that, with nothing else on. Maybe I'll put on earrings, a feminine wristwatch, and women's sandals. I'm just putting on clothing the way any woman might do, not bothering with the rest, except that I'm missing a bra and blouse and whatnot. So "who am I" at those times? In my own mind I'm definitely enjoying feeling "Lori-ish." But to my wife? As far as she can tell from my male appearance, I might be just "Larry in a skirt." So it doesn't seem to bother her at all, as long as "her Larry," the man she married, is visibly still there for her. At least, that's never been a problem for us--but I wouldn't be so sure your own wife would feel the same.

    The third aspect may be a crucial one. How much time are you "completely male" with no hint of "Larissa"? In my case I've been "completely Larry" for the large majority of the time. So being "Lori" is a "part-time" thing. My wife has seen the "man" she married most of the time.

    No doubt it helps that I'm perfectly comfortable and happy in a male identity, though I enjoy being Lori as well. This may not be the case for everyone. I don't for instance "underdress" in panties or other women's underwear beneath male clothing. Frankly, I don't want to. I'd rather be "completely Larry" or "completely Lori" at any given time--at least to the extent of not "mixing" clothing--since one seems to spoil the enjoyment of the other. I don't go to bed in a nightgown, unless I've been "dressed" the evening before. (I sleep naked.) So my wife has mostly continued seeing me as "male" all day, every day.

    If this is not true for you, it might be a problem for your wife. It may not be enough to be "the man she married" just some of the time. If you "underdress" in panties every day, or sleep in nightgowns, or have painted toenails, or other constant reminders of your "feminine side" that are there most of the time in spite of your male self, that could possibly be irritating your wife into feeling that you're "no longer the man she married." It's an idea to look at anyway. How much of the time are you "wholly male" in her eyes?

  16. #16
    Senior Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    My wife is the same way. When she says something I view as non supportive I try to understand her feelings. There are many spouses who would never offer support; so the least we can do is try to be a bit understanding for those that do.

  17. #17
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I agree with Di, Char, and Crissy. Personally I think you may need to relax a bit and perhaps not read too much into your wife's reactions. When we first come out and for some period afterwards we are excited and deeply involved in exploring these new and often intense feelings. We want to share it and it occupies a great deal of our thinking. That can skew our expectations. Perhaps you need to accept that she loves you and wants you to be happy, but she does not want to be as deeply immersed in it as you are. When she does not show a lot of interest in what we are feeling we can easily misinterpret that as mild rejection because we tend to expect rejection and become hypersensitive to anything that looks like that. Pull back and just act naturally rather than unconsciously turning the focus on yourself.

    It was that way when I came out. My wife was not as thrilled as I was. She didn't reject me but she was clearly very worried and concerned over the meaning of this more than the actions themselves. I pulled back a bit and things smoothed out but there was still plenty of evidence that the issue was still there but it was not the 800 pound gorilla in the room anymore. She is now, 9 years later, more understanding and supportive. She has boundaries and I am sensitive to those boundaries. I adapted to her and she adapted to me. I am still plenty male for her even though the Gretchen part of my total identity is now present all the time in some way or another. But that has changed my deeper personality so I am a bit more like the woman my wife is while still being the husband she married. I have adjusted my expectations and so has she so they are more consistent. Works great.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Hi Larissa,

    My wife had her own body issues and I had to be careful not to push her hot buttons.
    It is a rare woman who doesn't.

    Marion

  19. #19
    GG Dutchess's Avatar
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    The thing is that there are really no double standards, anyone can wear what they want and this has been discussed MANY times here over the years .

    I dont personally see alot of women who wear male clothing but the ones who will wear the items you are talking about are just wearing the clothes . They are not trying or wishing to be men ,they 99.99999999 % of the time , don't have a "male " side trying to get out but yeah ,imagine you dont dress at all, you are a VERY straight man and suddenly I am dressing as a male too , taping a cucumber in my pants in public and my entire life starts to suddenly revolve around other women who dress like men might when trying to attract women then you surely would start to feel insecure and not know what is going to happen next .

    I did what your wife is doing with my ex husband . I pretended to like it for him because I did love him even though I was no t crazy about the dressing . Then , when I showed a little support he just completely went bonkers with it and everyTHING revolved around dressing and gender discussions/issues and finally other men who liked dressers ( even though he swore he was straight ) . That what my life became 24/7 there was no us anymore .

    She can easily still love the heck out of you but not care much for the dressing . That doesnt make her bad.

    Sometimes I feel like the "dreaded GG " here because things didn't turn out well for me and my posts can seem a little too real but if I can sort of steer one person away from ending UP like me then thats ok . It does not have to turn out like my life with a little understanding on BOTH parts , not just hers .
    Last edited by Dutchess; 08-28-2021 at 11:38 AM.
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  20. #20
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    I think it is safe to say that any wife who was not aware of her husband's cross dressing before the "I do's" wishes he was not a cross dresser. That was not in the mix for consideration before marriage. Society is not all that supportive of cross dressing. It becomes a shared secret with the possible negative consequences. It sounds as if she has weighed your cross dressing on the scale of life and found it tips heavily in favor of all your other attributes and accomplishments.

    My wife and I are in a deep "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" marriage. There was some support in the beginning for "bedroom play." However, when the "plot thickened," it became a turn off. There is tolerance, but, no support. She ignores the elephant in the room by becoming the ostrich with head in the ground. I keep my wardrobe out of sight, but, clearly if she were to open my armoire or night stand some of the stuff is there is plain sight. She makes no negative comments about I or anything on television. She is very supportive of gay/lesbian and transgender rights with some push back on bathroom privacy issues. The majority of days I may wear a neutral color nylon brief. However, I make no open displays of femininity.

    All I can speculate is she is going to fall into tolerance does not equal acceptance. Don't perceive the fact she does not say anything as a green light to rub it is her face. It may end up pushing it will end up in an explosive situation. If you have been married a long time you must have some ability to read her non-verbal communication, if she does not want to talk about. Not wanting to talk about it for us was enough to get my wife's point about my cross dressing. I don't rub it in her face.

  21. #21
    Member Mermaiden's Avatar
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    I?ve had a very similar experience with my wife trying to be supportive and then being angry. Talking about it makes sense, but hasn?t been as fruitful as advice columns would suggest. For me, I?ve realized that I tend to be overly optimistic and think she?s on board when she isn?t. But some part of me usually knows to back off.
    I think you just have to stay aware and try to be objective in your assessment of her feelings.
    Hope it all works out.

  22. #22
    New Member Jade P's Avatar
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    My wife has been more accepting lately. We are still not intimate, my body shaving, panties and pantyhose have made me unattractive. I will always love her and be her friend.

  23. #23
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Sometimes a wife just wants hubby back and fears he'll be lost in our world forever.
    Mine is fully supportive and I dress most every day. But I've told her that anytime she wants to do something I'm just a washcloth away. At first she didn't want to take away My time, but I told her since I can change back and forth at any time it's not a big deal. I may be fully dressed, but I can be as quick as Superman in a phone booth whenever necessary.
    After that she has never given me any reason to doubt her support. It's nearly 20 years now.
    Wear something pretty every day !

  24. #24
    Junior Member Larissa Cassandra's Avatar
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    First of all, my sincerest THANK YOU to everyone who has replied to my post! I wish I would have found this forum a long time ago.

    Anyway, a couple of days ago I had a long talk with my wife and brought up most of the topics I'd learned about from your posts. (I also confessed to her that I had lied about only getting interested in crossdressing fairly recently, when I had known - and acted upon - my desires as far back as my teen years.) As always, she was very open and understanding, listening to me patiently, and then repeating what she's been saying since I came out to her last year: She's comfortable with my dressing and thinks all people should be able to wear whatever clothes they want. In fact, she coined a term: "Freedressing!" (At least neither of us had heard it before.) I asked if she had a problem with my expressing my feminine self most of the time, and she said no. My pink fog comes and goes (actually most of the time, especially lately), so she's ok with me wearing nighties to bed, spritzing with my favorite fragrances, or lounging around the house in leggings and flowery top, or skirt or dress, and wearing makeup. I don't fully dress very often, and for that she said she prefers to leave me on my own. The reason is that she herself isn't very "girly." Aside from painting her toenails in summer for sandal wearing, minimum foundation and powder to cover imperfections, a little eyeliner and lipstick for definition and color, and hairspray to keep her relatively short hair in place, she rarely goes anywhere near the level I go to when I doll up as Larissa! Also, she dislikes wearing dresses, skirts, stockings, pantyhose, and frilly clothes in general. So contrary to many accepting/supporting wives, my wife can't be my "feminizing" coach and doesn't want to be. I'm a little disappointed by that, since I find it a lot of fun and it would be more fun if we did it together, but that's easy for me to accept, and I respect her wishes. So if it's early in the evening and she sees me in the bathroom putting on makeup while wearing panties and bra, she'll just say something like "Oh, you're making yourself pretty!" and go about her business. When I'm all done (an hour or so later!), she'll compliment me on my outfit and makeup job (and wig, if I'm wearing one). She might make suggestions, but that's the extent of her involvement. I'll excuse myself, change skirt or shoes or lipstick shade and come back to show her. Then when it's an especially good look, she'll take a bunch of pictures. That's when I really appreciate her support and how lucky I am to have her in my life. She does talk about being all dressed up and nowhere to go, but we still haven't ventured outside the house. That's for future discussion.

    Another thing that came up in our conversation is that a lot of times when I think she might be having a problem with my crossdressing, it's really because there are a lot of other issues she's concerned about. In fact, she said that my crossdressing isn't even anywhere on her list of things she's worried about. So as some of you have suggested, I can't read her mind and assume that whatever's bothering her has anything to do with me (well, maybe it does, but it has nothing to do with Larissa!).

    Finally, and perhaps most importantly, my wife asked me (even after I reaffirmed that I'm not gay, and also that I have no plans to transition) if she is "enough" for me. Wow, that's heavy stuff! I never thought she could feel that way, so of course I reassured her that she's everything to me and not to ever think that again. I think at least part of her concern came from not being able to be intimate for the past few months because of a health problem. So I'm working on really paying more attention to her, talking more (but not too much!) about Larissa-related topics, and trying to be a good (male) husband most of the time.

    I've learned so much from the posts on this forum. I am forever grateful for your understanding, comments (positive AND negative), and support.

    Larissa

  25. #25
    Loving my femme side tifftg's Avatar
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    Larissa,
    You are very fortunate to have a wife as understanding as yours seems to be. The fact that you can be open about your dressing is a much easier environment than if you were deceiving her for years. A story I learned way too painfully. One part of your last note caught my eye, " it's really because there are a lot of other issues she's concerned about. In fact, she said that my crossdressing isn't even anywhere on her list of things she's worried about" I hope that statement on her part was followed by a concerned conversation to understand what those issues are. Clearly not to be share here. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we need that we aren't fully there for our partners to help them with their needs and issues.

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