There is a social pressure that I have been experiencing in different guises pushing me questioning me to fully transition and as much as I would dearly love to its not going to happen.. but this questioning is making me unhappy
So back story … I am Jess inside all the time but the world only sees her approx 80-85% of the time.. I work as Jess socialise as Jess but 15-20% I begrudgingly play a familiar role because this gives me 100% of my wife and 30yr marriage to a woman I love deeply.
She is not at peace with how I live the vast majority of my life but has found the strength of character and depth of love to stick with me with a few clear rules no surgical intervention no legal name change… she calls me by my male name..there are some other small things but these are the main red lines and I have accepted them and consider myself fortunate to continue our great relationship.
But society seems to hates or at least struggle with the concept of someone transitioning so far and holding back
An example tonight I went to get a covid test (Im double vaccinated and believe its a small cold but to return to my office (in isolation).. I have to have a negative test)
The lady spoke to me at the covid station I had to give my legal name and she looked at me and asked if I identified as male or female? I told her female and she asked why I hadnt changed my name yet and when would I….. to be honest I didnt appreciate the questioning but told her that keeping my original name meant keeping my wife and that was important to me …. she seemed to struggle with this concept and told me not to fret maybe one-day I would get the chance…I believe she was trying to be nice
This is one of numerous examples..people are not being mean they just dont grasp that a transition doesnt have to be all or nothing
Its hard enough compromising without this stealth pressure from people who need to mind their own business. Am I wrong..?