I'd been a member of this website for almost 6 years.
I was addicted to the pictures and videos section (no videos at all or just links to youtube).
I learned a lot about dressing but most of about my own identity.
One of the things I learned living inside the closet is to be a professional liar. I had to build all kindnof excuses to go out and dress but everything has a limit and I came out to my wife. That's another story.
Since I'm living my reality, that's really different from the lies of those closeted days, after near 3 and half years on HRT, living the life of a woman, all the fascination of that section of this web lost its interest.
I confess that I'm more judgemental now and forget a lot of the process of my mindset of those days.
Checking on that section today I read onenof the story and thought, is this true or a lie? But then I realized that is probably not a lie but just a written dream. Then I remember to had lived that experience, to add some spice to my experiences to make them look more real but they weren't real. It was just the expression of the desire to live a real life as a woman.
Now I can tell that reality is far better than lies or dreams....or nightmares.
I suffered so many nights thinking on the catastrophe my life would be to came out as a crossdresser just to my wife.
My reality resulted "worse" than I thought, I wasn't a crossdresser but a transgender woman.
I have three sons and three daughter in law, one grandson. Today life is real, no more lies, dreams and nightmares....(I'm a government federal employee, I was just hired)
Devi San Martin (my real name and last name)
