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Thread: Broke the golden rule - didn?t dress to blend!

  1. #26
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    "The point" is different for each of us. Personally. my "point" is to be taken as a woman by everyone who sees me so it's important for me to dress appropriately for the time and place.

    For others. the point may be to wear stripper heels and lots of jewelry and makeup. In most cases, this will draw attention and they will be recognized as crossdressers, but if that is their "point", that's fine too.

    The term "crossdresser" covers a wide spectrum.
    So if you "blend" people won't notice that you're a CD?

    Or if you dress exotically people will automatically assume you're a CD?

    Nonsense.

    When I'm out, I never know who thinks I'm a guy in a dress. I just assume all of them do; they just don't know it's me in a dress.

    I think that's a much better assumption than thinking that if you are wearing jeans and a top people will think you are a woman, because you are simply deluding yourself. Most CDs do NOT pass.

    If you wear what you think other people expect you to wear, you are letting unknown "people" run your life.

    I prefer to run my life and dress like I want to dress.
    I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:

    https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/

  2. #27
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I find that socializing is much easier dressed as a woman. Seems I intuitively know how to interact with others as a woman but not a man.

    Marion

  3. #28
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    I don't understand what drives me to dress and go places where people see me but it's a powerful and I'm a very closeted CD. With that said my biggest fear is to be out somewhere and an adolescent teenager, or intoxicated girl, boy or worse a small group and be outed and with one of them walking or following me and pointing saying hey everybody that's a guy dressed up like a girl, with other people around. A real recipe for disaster that could escalate badly. and without saying be recognized.
    Like any female that's 6' and 200 lbs. I strive to be attractive and present a complete package. My first wife refused to go out of the house without putting her face on, I always thought well???, now I spend 45-60 minutes doing the same thing. When someone sees me in a normal public place, I don't want them to see anything other than just another attractive female wearing the appropriate clothing for where I am and that could be jeans, skirt or whatever. That's what drives me to do more. AND Yes I go to safe but appropriate places and wear 3" heals, hose, 4-5" above the knee skirt, corset for shape, with form fitting top, quality forms, 60 min makeup, my hair is 5" below my shoulders so I spend 20 min on my hair with plenty hair spray, a some jewelry and love it.
    Point being different clothes for different places just like every other normal female.

  4. #29
    Reality Check
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenMe View Post
    So if you "blend" people won't notice that you're a CD?

    Or if you dress exotically people will automatically assume you're a CD?

    Nonsense.

    When I'm out, I never know who thinks I'm a guy in a dress. I just assume all of them do; they just don't know it's me in a dress.

    I think that's a much better assumption than thinking that if you are wearing jeans and a top people will think you are a woman, because you are simply deluding yourself. Most CDs do NOT pass.

    If you wear what you think other people expect you to wear, you are letting unknown "people" run your life.

    I prefer to run my life and dress like I want to dress.
    "Nonsense"? That's a pretty strong word and you seem to like to use it a lot, especially when replying to my posts.

    Everyone here is entitled to their own opinion and I would like to think that everyone could respect other people's opinions and not insult them with words like "nonsense".

    I happen to think that under certain conditions, I will "pass". Who are you to say that I won't? Have you seen me dressed in public? I doubt it. Do you know the conditions where I think I will pass? Again, I doubt it.

    I would like to have the freedom of posting my opinions on this forum without the risk of you calling them "nonsense". In return, I will grant you the same respect and freedom.
    Krisi

  5. #30
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenMe View Post
    So if you "blend" people won't notice that you're a CD?

    Or if you dress exotically people will automatically assume you're a CD?

    Nonsense.

    When I'm out, I never know who thinks I'm a guy in a dress. I just assume all of them do; they just don't know it's me in a dress.

    I think that's a much better assumption than thinking that if you are wearing jeans and a top people will think you are a woman, because you are simply deluding yourself. Most CDs do NOT pass.

    If you wear what you think other people expect you to wear, you are letting unknown "people" run your life.

    I prefer to run my life and dress like I want to dress.
    So you dress in tiny latex miniskirts tight tank tops and thigh high boots when you go out?

    I bet you wear what most any woman would.

    I think the point here is sure, wear what you want. But if you dress like a hooker you will attract attention. If you like the attention, then fine. If you are trying to blend and pass by unnoticed wear what a typical woman would wear in the situation.

  6. #31
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    If anyone is interested in how I dress when I'm out, there are 22 blog posts here:

    https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/

    Or you could look here:

    https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...archid=9889150

    Or here:

    http://www.femulate.org/2021/07/some...525365090.html

    Instead of telling people what they SHOULD be wearing when they go out, I show people what I wear when I go out, with the idea being if I can wear it, someone else can do the same.
    Last edited by TheHiddenMe; 09-03-2021 at 11:06 PM.
    I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:

    https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/

  7. #32
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I dressed to blend last time I went out with a few CD friends. That is, I wore skinny jeans; my friends all wore dresses. Of course my blonde wig sticks out more than a brown wig would have.

    I don't believe I'm passable either way - at least not within 6 feet. Although there are times when someone will look at me with that "I'm not sure" look on her face.

    Over the years there have been times that I had that look on my face. There's a thought that comes to mind; "There's something different about that girl that's attractive and I don't know what it is..." After a closer look there will be one tell or another. But there's been a few times when it takes a lot longer to conclude on one gender or the other. It's fun to strive for that near pass-ability whether it's achieved or not.

    Just have fun when going out OK?
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  8. #33
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    Well as fate reveals her sense of humour, I saw two women out today wearing leather skirts, about 1/2 hour apart from each other at lunch time. Add in my polka dot skirt and slowly we are chipping away at this low point in fashion history!

  9. #34
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I have done some extreme dressing at home and dreamed, but it is a great strain on my full length mirror.

    To be an extreme dresser, you have to look extreme for a start.

    How we have all wished for that at some time.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  10. #35
    Junior Member TamT's Avatar
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    I started dressing in private, and I bought a lot of stuff I wanted to try when I saw some attractive women out there. I wore few of those outfit in midnight walks a long time ago.

    When I decided few years ago to go into public at lunch time, for sure I wanted to blend, but that is not easy for me because I'm very tall. I wore some of outfit common those days (current fashion), but I realized that I had lots of old garments that I also wanted to wear.

    So, I've tried many of those old garments (fashion always comes back) in combination with newer or current ones, trying to find the best place and time to use them, in order to minimize prying eyes, because I know I would not blend anyway.

    Of course, sometimes I didn't find the right place (if any) for some garments and I did it anyway, just like saying "I'm here, look at me!". But it was a great feeling and a fun experience

  11. #36
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    Some of the stuff I like doesn't blend and I definitely don't wear it as often as a result. But comfort and modesty are nice to have most days anyways

  12. #37
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    I have two separate thoughts on this so I'll keep them in two different post if the system lets me. I now see they are combined with a division in the middle. I guess that's how it works.

    One time waiting on the train platform there was mostly business people going home from work. There was also one young woman dressed to go out like she was heading into the city for a party or a club or something. She was dressed very very nicely but obviously different. Probably heels and definitely a very short skirt. So this girl is dressed appropriately for where she's going but at the moment she really stood out. My observation was how everybody noticed her. I could see many many eyes looking her way, not necessarily checking her out but studying how she was dressed. everybody men or women we're looking at her. I could only imagine how she felt with all those eyes on her. It just goes to show you sometimes the attention will be because of how you're dressed. Dressing to blend in can help us "pass" in two Ways. Being dressed similar to those around you makes it look like you belong there like you fit in . Dressing down and or appropriate to the surroundings also diverts attention from us. The last thing we need is more eyes checking us out which could then lead to us getting discovered. It was an eye-opener to see how dressing a certain way gets you more attention.

    [SIZE=1]- - - my second thought - - -[/SIZE]

    I also see this from another perspective because of my height LOL. It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't experience it, how much attention height gets you. I'm over six feet. I think that's a point where it starts becoming an attention getter. Put me in heels which I love to wear and forget about it. How does this relate? No matter how much I try dressing to fit in, I still stand out. No amount of dressing down or otherwise could take this attention off of me.
    It was awful in the beginning because I just wanted to blend in and do my thing and not get that extra scrutiny and be figured out. This made me super conscious about always dressing appropriate for where I'm going. In the end I had to become more confident that they were just looking at me because I'm tall. I stand out like that girl on the platform dressed for the club. Reference to the first part of this post.
    Overall it made me a more confident person in social situations. I'm always super conscious that my look is on point even if sometimes it's a bit over the top. Better to be overdressed than underdressed but I still try to keep it appropriate. The attention we all get to some extent is just something you have to mentally sort out in your head and figure out a way to deal with it so that it doesn't show as nervousness and awkwardness that can cause concern in the people around you. If you go shopping in a store that would be a place to be dressed appropriately. more importantly if you're all nervous and acting awkwardly that's going to draw attention that might concern the store. That's where you want to show confidence like you belong and you're just your average shopper.

    Such a long post and no apology for it! LOL if you got this far you enjoyed reading along. You could have stopped at any time. Don't mind my humor. Lol
    Last edited by Genifer Teal; 09-11-2021 at 08:38 AM.

  13. #38
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    I'll never pass. Trying my hardest, I'm often made from 50' away.

    I say, screw the golden rule. Dress how you want to dress. I like to dress where I feel sexy. I'm not trying to blend, I'm trying to turn heads.

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