I think i've been "caught" again. Waiting for the backlash.

[Sandra_Dodds]

I know I'm facing the same conversation I've already had, which is why can't you just stop, because she equates it to my eating disorder, and it's just a mental addiction I can just stop.

Oh Charlotte, what you described in your original post and what you say here is exactly my life too. I'd be happy to settle for a DADT relationship but that is never going to happen; it's more a case of NANA - Never Accept / Never Admit. And before anyone starts to lecture me about trust issues, I get it. Absolutely. I do. I know I shouldn't, but when the choice is divorce or secrecy, I'll risk the secrecy. I love the life I have with my wife and don't want to give it up but equally I can't give up Sandra either. Maybe this is an addiction, but that discussion probably deserves it's own thread.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Hi Charlotte;

I've read through some of your previous posts and your love for your family shows as does the fear and angst of being in a DADT relationship is doing to you. Some have written a heartfelt letter to their spouse ( a sample is in this forum somewhere) sharing how you don't want to surprise her, but without some kind of communication , she may happen upon something like you dressed or semi dressed. My spouse is accepting and supporting so we do not have a DADT, but she does like to bring her friends over for a visit from time to time , after work or on weekends. So in order to keep from an unwanted surprises, I let her know when there are Kelly Day(s) and she will call me to let me know if friends are on the way to the house. Communication , even in a DADT relationship.

Without some kind of communication both of you may be unintentially building stress in your marriage.

Just a couple of questions.

. Have you and your spouse discussed crossdressing in any depth ?
. What does DADT mean to you ?
. What does DADT mean to your spouse ?
. Can you discuss what stress means to you and what stress means to her ?