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Thread: Getting out with others

  1. #1
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Getting out with others

    As we have a steady influx of folks joining the forum I?m taking the opportunity to re-ask a question in a bid to understand how better to tempt members into meeting others.

    With a break for covid over about the last 5 or 6 years I?ve made the offer to those here of a chance to meet up in a LGBT friendly location, Canal Street in Manchester. Manchester is one of if not the most LGBT friendly city in the UK and Canal Street forms the centre of the Gay village. I?m going to make the same offer this year.

    I?ve been fortunate over the years to have met a number of forum members but I have to say the take up is low. I do make a point of focusing my offer towards those who perhaps haven?t been out in public before but would like to do so. However it?s not exclusively for the newbie, seasoned hands are welcomed to.

    Now I appreciate that there are all sorts of practical reasons why many wouldn?t be able to attend. Family and work commitments, distance to travel, haven?t got a thing to wear!

    So my question is, if there?s no logistical/practical reason for you not to go, for those for whom this would be there first time out in public, assuming you had a desire to go out in public, what would be the thing(s) that would keep you away? What is it that the little voice in your head says to deter you? What would be your biggest fear? Do you have a preconception of what it?d be like or would you approach it with an open mind?

    Conversely, what would be the one thing that would tempt you the most to pull up those big girl knickers and get out there?

    In a few weeks time I?ll place a post in the places to go section with the time/date/venue for anyone interested in going or PM me for details. (If you don?t get an immediate reply don?t worry, I?m going to be ?Off grid? for a few weeks but I?ll be back.)
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member DianeT's Avatar
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    I don't plan to participate, but congratulations for organizing this, nice initiative.

  3. #3
    New Member
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    I would absolutely love to go but being in Washington State, I can not go to the UK right now. I have been trying for a long time now to make some in-person crossdressing friends. People I can dress with and have some girl time.

  4. #4
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    I have a few (mixed) thoughts and feelings.

    For me, it's this "our bond is being trans/crossdresser/non binary, and that's potentially it. We are a spread of ages, political leanings etc, and it seems odd to meet up with somebody based on one of the things that is so intimate and secret for me.


    Equally I know these times can be really beneficial, or really negative, as you either build confidence and do it more, or build confidence and get frustrated at the lack of opportunity.

    End of the day though, I live 100 or so miles away, I only go away to work in the London region, my car has a tracker on it so my wife could see it whenever (it often prompts when it's unlocked etc and suploads location), plus getting the clothing out is a risk in itself.

    It's just all round a challenge for me

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Charlotte, people typically sign for membership in all kinds of clubs and all they have in common with other members is the activity the club is about (reading, doing some sport, chess, etc.). So dressing can be just another example. Plus, Helen is talking about first timers going out, so there's a bit of coaching unless I am mistaken (hey nice nickname by the way Miss Taken), and if I wanted to go out and lacked the confidence I would be grateful for this kind offer. Just my two cents.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member
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    Its a good distance from Minnesota to the UK. Next time I travel abroad I will definitely hope for the opportunity to join a get together.
    Our only truth is narrative truth, the stories we tell each other and ourselves, the stories we continually recategorize and refine. Such subjectivity is built into the very nature of memory. Oliver Sacks

  7. #7
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I've been going out for years so your question doesn't really apply.
    However I would love to get together with other ladies from the site. I don't know any places in the area (NEPA) so I can't help there but if some would like to plan a night out I'd love to be a part of it.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  8. #8
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Helen,

    That is a nice offer. I would not mind taking you up on an outing were it not for the fact I am on the other side of the big pond : )

    I know when I first started going out dressed, I really only wanted to be around other women but over time I have changed to being happy in a mixed crowd as long as everyone is accepting.

    The only thing I was going to mention is that I think turn out is typically low for such offers because it takes a lot of planning for some of us. Coordinating schedules for multiple people becomes even more difficult unless it is something like one of the diva meetings - planned well in advance. That is something I have not experienced and sounds like fun.

    Good luck with it.

    Sandi

  9. #9
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    One of the thoughts that went through my head when contemplating meeting other CD'ers was am I going to be the ugly sister. There'll be this room of beautiful, totally passable Tgirls and me, clown face in the corner.

    I can testify that it wasn't the case as we come in all shapes, sizes and ages and I quickly realised that what mattered was an acceptance of our shared passion. I never felt judged by other members of the community.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  10. #10
    New Member
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    Hi Helen,

    I?m a bit further north, near Newcastle, but would really like to have the opportunity to meet other CD?ers for the first time now that I am stepping outside en femme a bit more.
    I?ll keep an eye out in the places to go section

    Blue

  11. #11
    Member Debs's Avatar
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    Helen,

    I will be there depending on the dates, Manchester was my first stomping ground, definitely safe down canal street, also never had a problem shopping in Manchester.

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