Married CD-ers: How much does your Spouse know?

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I would like to apologize for my horrible comment that men like to see women naked. Someone suggested that women dress for women, others objected, I responded that women could show up naked and we'd be ok with it, and it was off-topic and apparently wrong, men don't like that at all. I am sorry.

I'm fortunate to have a wife who gets me and doesn't mind me wearing whatever I feel comfortable in. She's suggested that I can wear a skirt to the sports bar, I'm not sure how serious she is, but I don't see that happening.

She also offered to take me naked. Pretty sure NO ONE wants to see that.

[FeliCD]

My wife knows everything. I have always fantasized that a gf or spouse would ask to gender play which would open the door to CDing. One night over a billiards game my wife suggested that we try it. The experience was amazing for both of us and my femme self basically evolved from that night forward. The pink fog can be overwhelming at times for my wife but we communicate openly and even joke about things day to day. She doesn?t fully understand the why but fully accepts and supports this part of me.

[Chloe from Colorado]

My wife knows everything in regards to sex and crossdressing. She is an amazing woman who has made me feel comfortable telling her stuff that I hadn't told her before. I know I am lucky in this regard! I have never been with a man while fully dressed, but she has volunteered to help find someone and be there with me if I desire.

[Alice_2014_B]

I'm one of the fortunate ones; my wife knows everything.
She has even helped me shave my arms and has shopped for dresses and makeup for/with me.

That being said, I do not dress up on a regular basis.

She is totally alright with me doing stand-up en-fem, YouTube videos, and all.

[Alexis00]

After some previous bad experiences started telling any woman I dated. More than half ended the relationship, assuming I either planned to transition, or dressed to attract men. The first girlfriend I told said what others probably felt, ?I don?t want to date another girl.? A very few were tolerant and really only one liked to play with gender expression.

My now ex-wife happened to know a couple where the husband cross dressed and had been out with them. So she was relatively accepting when I told her and we went out to parties and clubs, mostly around Halloween.

After our relationship started downhill, it became a source of tension. I wanted to express myself more femme, and this started to bother her.

When on my laptop she found some lingerie pictures I?d taken it really set her off. The relationship was already badly broken but she was quite mean about it.

Everyone handles this differently. A former gf and lover I?d like to get back together with has ?friend zoned? me. I really appreciate her support - and she?s been great - but she does not want to be a lover anymore.

[Suranne]

My wife knows all and is a great trans ally to have

[Debs]

Hi, Im 63 now and have been married for 16 years, I told my wife from the beginning within 2 weeks of us dating. I've been dressing all my life so when I met her I knew from past experience to tell her straight away, so I took the gamble of telling her within 2 weeks of starting our relationship. Better to do this rather than spending years of hiding, hiding your stash, sneaking around causing suspicion.Anyway all went well for the first 4 years, I could dress, we went out together, I got lovely presents, then we got married, then we had our first real tiff over whatever I can't remember, then it happened, me dressing was brought into the argument, I just looked like a man in a dress, my makeup was ugly, I looked like I was in a pantomime etc, etc. and from then on it was DADT. We functioned as brother and sister from then on. I never dressed in front of her, and had to go and stay out all night to dress. So this went on for years,in the meantime we bought a holiday home 40 mins away on the coast, so I could go there, over time she mellowed greatly, until one morning she got up early and I was dressed (no makeup) in the front , she never batted an eyelid, had my usual good morning and we discussed what we was doing for the day, so I took the opportunity to ask if Im ok to dress in front of her?, she said why not, no problem. So that's how it went till COVID
Same again one morning she got up early, I was fully dressed with full makeup on and wig. Usual conversation, I said am I ok wearing makeup and a wig, she said, ``No problem, you cant go and stay out due to covid, so its ok, just don't let the neighbours see you. Since then I can do whatever I want, dress all the time if I want, but I don't, I keep it down so as not to push it in her face. And its amazing I have the best of all worlds now, going to meet some of the girls from the forum on the 15th of this month in Manchester, we are going shopping in the afternoon and going out at night. My wife is even going to let me get ready at home then drive in Manchester, as I can go into my room till 2pm, so this will save time. Shes going to get an amazing xmas present, lol

[Alexis00]

Debs, that’s lovely!

[Monique65]

I gave my wife another opportunity to open a discussion about my dressing. The conversation went something like this.

Her - I need to return some things I bought on line.
Me - Ok, why?
Her - They’re too big for me.
Me - Maybe they’d fit me.
Her - They’re pretty girlie.
Me - (in my best Monty Python voice) Are you suggesting that I don’t like girlie things?
Her - I don’t think you’d like pink pajamas.
Me - Well, you never know.
Her - (crickets)

After several minutes of silence, she resumed the conversation on another unrelated topic.

It was a brief exchange, but did provide her the chance to ask any questions or make a comment about my hobby. Just another missed opportunity to have the “talk”.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

lol Monique! A while before the scope of my weirdness came out my wife had left her PJ's out on the bed while she ran a kid's friend home. I put them on and laid down on the bed reading, waiting for her to get a laugh. It worked, she laughed! Then she noticed something, let's just say that a certain part of me was expressing how much I liked the outfit, and she said as much, that I must really like wearing her clothes. I managed to reply "would that be a problem?" It went nowhere from there at that point, but little things like that got me to the big reveal. So I'm thinking you might be on to something! Keep nudging!

[AnelineM]

lol Monique! A while before the scope of my weirdness came out my wife had left her PJ's out on the bed while she ran a kid's friend home. I put them on and laid down on the bed reading, waiting for her to get a laugh.

OMG! If my wife came home and I was lying on the bed wearing her pajamas, it would not get a laugh. It would be WWIII. My wife once gave me a pair of bicycling shorts she said were too big for her. 6 months later she noticed me wearing them and said "What the f.. are you doing wearing my shorts! What is wrong with you!" She totally forgot. Didn't accept the explanation that she gave them to me and then forgot. So I gave them back. End of story. Glad it worked out well for you.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Women are weird, Aneline. My wife has surprised me with skirts and tops, she's given me hand-me-down bras and panties, but the day she saw me wearing a toe ring it was as if I had scheduled a sex-change operation without telling her!

[Cacique82]

I kept things from my wife for a few years and the entire time we were dating. She knew I was always into lingerie. But one night I told her I wanted to put on her stockings. She really opened up to it knowing how difficult it was for me to tell her. She could tell I was nervous, even after being together 17 years at the time. I started wearing more and more to bed, [I already had some boxes full of things for a while] One night on vacation I mentioned I wanted to get a nightgown, and she didn't care at all. "Get what you want" was the phrase she used.

[Celee]

My wife knows but we haven?t had THE TALK(mainly due to my cold feet). We both have medical issues and she has anxiety so I don?t feel right adding to it. When we were younger she would make a comment like I love my new dress you should try it but the tone of her voice told me it wasn?t a good time for discussion. As we get older it seems her attitude has seemed to soften on it. Just last week she couldn?t find her favorite bra so she looked at me and said do you have my red bra? Not accusatory or judgmental just normal conversation. I said no and that was that.

[Alexis00]

Women are weird, Aneline. My wife has surprised me with skirts and tops, she's given me hand-me-down bras and panties, but the day she saw me wearing a toe ring it was as if I had scheduled a sex-change operation without telling her!

Spent hours getting ready for a Halloween party with my [now ex] wife, from lingerie on up. All good.

Stop at a gas station to get gas. While I’m at the pump, hair gets in my eyes so I toss my head to get it out of the way. This simple (necessary) gesture set her off!

Too “feminine.”

[Paulie Birmingham]

She knows enough for us to have fun together but not the full extent. I wear many things 8n front of her and she buys me sruff too. But there are some bras and lingerie i haven't worn in front of her. She knows i had some.bras and lingerie but maybe not the new stuff i own. I don't hide my stuff anymore and keep it in my drawers. If she ever looked through my drawers she would know everything. Lol.

[DebbieCD]

No, she knows nothing even after 25 years of marriage (yes, I feel VERY guilty about it) and several house moves . I guess I'm just VERY good at hiding but I REALLY live in fear that one day she'll decide to go rummaging though the attic looking for something. While everything is quite well hidden and disguised, it wouldn't take long before she would appear from the attic with a VERY confused look on her face and a mountain of tough questions!

I WISH I was brave enough to have "The Talk".

[Josephine_A]

I know exactly how you feel Debbie. Although I have only been dressing for a few years, I have not told my wife a thing and since the lockdowns had to bring my stash home. I used to keep it in the office. Ever since I have lived in dread that she will find it and have no idea what to say to her if she did. It’s going to be pretty hard to laugh off size 15 heels and size 20 dresses. I envy the ladies who have been able to tell their wives. I just don’t have the courage to tell her and suspect she would not be understanding at all from comments she’s made in the past. It?s also torture that my outfits are nearby and I can’t wear them because someone’s always home.

[Monique65]

Does she really want to know? As a life long cross dresser, happily married to a wonderful woman for forty eight years, I must ask myself this question. I’m positive she has a clue, but we have never had the talk. When she found me wearing panties, she suggested I get some of my own, and even helped pick them out, and although I wear them daily, she has never mentioned it again. I have attempted numerous opportunities to bring the subject up, but she either changes the subject or worse, remains silent. It is as if she knows, but chooses to ignore it. Although I would love to be more open, I see no reason to rock the boat, so I’ll remain in the closet for now.

[Jessica Secret]

Not married and I'm actually living the fantasy you describe Jodie, I dated girls in my teens but I currently have a boyfriend. What drove me to wanting to be with a guy was a combo of my dressing, feeling fem 24/7, not wanting to worry about what a gf/wife thought about it and knowing that being with a guy would be the ultimate girly experience, and it has definitely been. I can see why CD'ers fantasize about wanting to be with a guy, it's heaven if you find the right one like I have and he not only approves of my dressing but likes it and encourages it (probably because I wear lingerie to bed for him lol!). If anyone is interested in what it's like to have a relationship with a boyfriend don't hesitate to PM me.

[jessicabf]

My wife knows everything. We discovered this side of me together.

Side, part, aspect? it?s me. It?s we.

And as some know, so does my SIL. 😜

[NebraskaCD]

I have many exciting stories I could tell you, but I am not much for a writer. So, my apologies up front.

Tony was my wife's ex boyfriend. My GF (now wife) and I had been dating for several months. She knew about my cross-dressing very early in our relationship when I told her.

One Saturday night, my wife and I were going to a local club with some other cross-dressing friends. We had invited Tony to join us there. We were all sitting outside on the patio when he showed up.

Tony of course gave my wife a kiss. Then when I was introduced to him, he gave me a friendly hug. We all sat around talking and drinking for a couple hours.

We decided it was time to take the party to our house and cool off in the pool. My wif changed into a one piece suit and I changed into a two piece. Tony didn't have one so he just swam in his boxers.

It was a fun nite with friends!!!
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[Beverley Sims]

I go shopping with my wife as Beverley, always trying on clothes and we have both had a number of bra fittings over the years.

She needs to be fitted but one woman in a prosthetics shop insists that I get fitted for forms now and then. :-)