I understand the way I believe to be true crossdressing is a lifestyle,for a day week or how ever long you can..And that it would be relaxing and feel good to just get away from our male sides..
Is getting dressed in panties or negligie for the sexual fetish and then reaching sexual satisfaction and hiding your things until next time considered crossdressing...?Or does it fall under a different heading??Hope the question makes sence...Missy
According to the rule book - Wearing clothing of the opposite sex no mater what the purpose is technically crossdressing.
Thank you Karren.
I agree. If you wear the clothing intended for the other gender you are crossdressing. Plain and simple, although some people will say they are into fashion and wearing the clothing simply because they like how it looks. IMO, they are in denial.
I have to agree with Karren. Cross dressing only implies wearing the clothing normally associated with the opposite sex. The OP introduces motivation which probably bring forth a discussion of creating a subset, fetish dresser. Karren stated "no matter what the purpose." When my granddaughter raided my closet and took (with permission) my flannel shirts because they are comfortable and it was the current fashion she would fall into a strict definition of cross dressing, but, is she a cross dresser? Or when my daughter bought a pair of male shoes because they were more comfortable than female shoes and a lot less expensive was she a cross dresser? My granddaughter also would buy young men's jeans rather than young women's jeans because they fit better. She was one of those young girls/women who had no hips. In these cases these women may be wearing the clothes of the opposite sex, however, were they cross dressers? Enter the difference in definition between cross dressing and cross dresser.
When I raised the issue several years ago that Pumped stated (#4) it ruffled some feathers/plumage.
I love Karren's and Kim's answers. One act of cross dressing doesn't make one a crossdresser. When the act is repeated as a habit, that's another thing. There's an amount of how often one cross dresses (whether just one article of clothing or much more) that makes a difference. Every day is nice if possible! Sometimes some of us have to go for months or even years without CDing in order to keep it a secret.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
It is crossdressing by definition. But more accurately that behavior is "transvestic fetishism".
Stephanie, you raise an interesting point in this:
What I'd suggest is this:Originally Posted by Stephanie47
Yes, I'd say that technically, they are crossdressing - at least partially, since I doubt they're going to the extent of wearing men's underthings.
But are they crossdressers? I'd like to say that they most likely are not, and I'd like to suggest a modification to the "standard" definition so that it reads something like:
A crossdresser is someone who chooses to wear the clothing associated with a person of the opposite gender because that clothing is associated with the opposite gender
The added words (in bold) are IMO, the the defining difference.
What do y'all think? too wordy?
Last edited by SaraLin; 09-20-2021 at 06:10 AM. Reason: bad editing
A crossdresser is someone who chooses to wear the clothing associated with a person of the opposite gender because that clothing is associated with the opposite gender
Greetings, everyone. I like the definition above most of all. Yes, to me, a teenage girl wearing her dad's flannel shirt is not crossdressing (verb) or a crossdresser (noun), but a man who wears a bra and stockings because he is attracted to women's underwear is crossdressing. If this is a repetitious act, then he is a crossdresser.
I very seldom wear women's underwear or outerwear, but it does happen and I do have a small collection for when the temptation arises, so I am an occasional crossdresser. I have a beard and I do not try to imitate a woman's look or behavior, so I am not really "presenting as the opposite gender." I do not believe "presentation" needs to be a part of the definition of crossdressing.
Let us consider the subcategory of underdresser. This would be a man presenting as male to the world but perhaps wearing women's lingerie underneath the male drab. While I am drawn to wearing women's clothing, especially underwear, I have no interest in wearing a dress in public, so I may wear only women's underwear under my male clothing. Dresses I wear only while home alone, presenting to no one but the guy in the mirror.
Sexual orientation is also not a factor. I used to identify as bisexual, but I have not been with a woman in a few decades so I now identify more as gay. I am a very masculine man and am perfectly comfortable feeling and acting masculine while crossdressing.
Lastly, I keep seeing the word "fetish" in this thread and I am not comfortable with it. To me, I perhaps prefer the word "kink," which to me implies that the crossdressing is enjoyable but not required for sexual satisfaction.
CeCe
Last edited by Di; 10-30-2021 at 04:41 PM. Reason: Read the rules Please / support forum cds , and family/ not appropriate going into detail about your sex life
I go with the "technical" definition of "Cross dressing" (at least the one I grew up with) That a Crossdresser is basically an otherwise "straight male" who is attracted to the wearing of female clothing. I do not think Trans people, those who "identify as female" or Gays fit the crossdresser definition.---Yes, they might also CROSSDRESS, but a crossdresser is a "whole 'nuther kind of animal"with our own set of many different reasons for doing so.
Go with Karren's ruling. I believe she has a copy of the orginal crossdressers rule book. Might even be one of the contributing editors of the book.
Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.
@Marina Curious as to why a gay man could not crossdress?
Diane T-----Many Gay men DO crossdress but there is a difference between the ACT of Crossdressing and A CROSSDRESSER (or transvestite). Gays are Homosexual-- attracted to the same sex. and might identify with the opposite sex in some cases. The term "Crossdresser" is to differentiate an otherwise "straight" individual who gets pleasure out of dressing in female clothing. There is a difference. It refers to a person who as a person who does not Cross-dress out of a side adjunct of identity or sexuality. as do most Gays or trans folks. Although it may be possible that a gay might Crossdress for the same reason a straight person would (fetish, S/M, or escapism) not connected to his sexuality.---------------------It's important to make the distinction . Crossdressers do if for entirely different reasons than Gays or Trans. This would be a big factor in psychological counseling or research. First, we must differentiate between the NOUN and the VERB. And second It is an unfortunate terminology in it self that Crossdressers don't have their own term---Yes, "Transvestite" is more clinical but is often associated with a particular KIND of Crossdresser. (Mostly hetero-fetish based). When we discuss such things it is important to define our terms as a LOT of confusion exists when dealing with these once taboo subjects.
Last edited by MarinaTwelve200; 09-19-2021 at 04:03 PM.
From Merriam-Webster dictionary.Definition of cross-dressing: the wearing of clothes designed for the opposite sex
If you wear clothes designed for the opposite sex, by DEFINITION you are a crossdresser. You can be straight, gay, or bi.
Transvestite is synonymous with crossdresser. Trans for opposite and vestige for clothing (Latin).
There are many reasons why people crossdress, and there are SOME negative connotations with the terms crossdresser or transvestite, but the terms themselves are pretty simple.
I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:
https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/
I
don't think it matters much anymore defining yourself as it seems that the definitions are changing.
I don't agree. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with transvestic fetishism. A transvestite can be gay, straight or bi. We actually just had a gay man post that likes panties. He described uncontrollable urges to wear them. He is a gay transvestite.
Crossdresser does not differentiate an "otherwise straight" man at all.
Unless you're referring to drag performers, who get no sexual satisfaction from dressing, this is not correct. All crossdressers, gay or straight, dress for sexual satisfaction.
Trans do dress for entirely different reasons, I agree. They have gender dysphoria.
Disregarding drag performers and transexuals with gender dysphoria, all crossdressers are transvestites. They all have a fetish. If you disagree, I'd love for you to provide me research describing a type of crossdresser that doesn't do it as a sexual fetish.
I agree that crossdressing doesn't differentiate between gay or straight.
I don't agree with you point that all crossdressers do it for sexual satisfaction. Many dress just because they simply enjoy it.
I dressed this afternoon and had a quiet evening with my wife. After she went to bed I stripped down and now and just lounging around in my undies. I haven't had a sexual thought all evening. Many of us find CD'ing to be comforting. Personally I kind of blur the lines because I can dress just to hang out around the house and other times it turns into a sexual thing. It depends on what I wear and usually I decide what to wear knowing the out come.
TexasLegs,
I don't need research. I can just point to myself. I've been crossdresing to some extent for over fifty years and it has never, I repeat NEVER been sexual. If I wanted sexual release, I had old Sears catalogs(some of those old corsets models' were damned hot) or my older brother's Playboy magazines for that. Dressing has always been relaxing, a feeling of normalcy for me.
There are as many reasons men dress as there are men who dress. Even fetish dressers have slight variations on their particular fetish; for some it's stockings, others panties. Some like to dress in latex suits and give the girls in this forum a hard time(Hi DocRob...)
About the only brush broad enough to paint us all is the one Karen mentioned, we are all people that like to wear clothing generally ascribed to a different gender.
Love all of you, now it's time for ice cream.
I am Me and Me is OK!
Shelby
That's not how it works. You've made the assertion. Back it up or don't, but you don't get to transfer that burden to others.
I will agree that there are a lot of fetish dressers who won't, or can't, admit to it, but you're going to have to show the proof supporting your assertion.
Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".
No, we don't.
^this is the assumption, made by those who DO do it for sexual pleasure. In order to feel that they are normal, they project their own behavior and feeling onto everyone else, in order to feel that their feelings are the same as the rest of us.
Not true, either. While plenty of women will wear men's clothes, it's not to change what they want their sexuality to display. But a few women WILL wear men's clothing, in order to display that they are masculine. Though not in great numbers, they are out there, most often seen in masculine gay women.
The problem is, most crossdressers can't tell you why they do it. There's this huge social stigma against men
behaving, feeling or displaying femininity, that few are willing to explore the reasons why they do it. To them, it's just simpler to tell others that they were 'born that way'.
The definitions aren't changing. But perhaps slowly, over time, more males will be willing to examine why they want to embrace femininity. But it's not going to happen any time soon. We still have a whole lot of men who can't accept that they have feminine feelings, so much so, that they can't even accept it as part off themselves. Look at all of those who have to go to the extreme off creating a fake feminine persona, to assign all those feminine feelings to, to the point where they need to refer to themselves in third person to avoid any connection between themselves and those female feelings.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 09-25-2021 at 12:43 AM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Cross dressing is a behavior. It is not who you are. The motivations/reasons for cross dressing are so varied that its really your choice to apply or not apply any lable.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I find this a very interesting question in respect of society and our partners' view of cross dressing. I for one, and perhaps most of us, do it for sexual pleasure. But I suspect many if not most of us would not admit that, either to our SOs or to any other acquaintances with whom we happen to be open about it.
I think this would fall under the fetish cross dressing. But certainly ot is cross dressing. And to be clear I don't have a problem nor do I wish to shame anyone for what they do. Just my take on the situation. Take it with a grain of salt as they say.
Again, I posted the definition of crossdressing, and NOWHERE does it say it's a fetish. You are 100% wrong. For SOME CDs, there might be a fetish component. For many, there is none. The two are not synonymous.Unless you're referring to drag performers, who get no sexual satisfaction from dressing, this is not correct. All crossdressers, gay or straight, dress for sexual satisfaction.
Drag performers are crossdressers, by definition. It's a very large umbrella. They are wearing the clothing of the opposite gender. And they very well COULD get turned on by dressing.
I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:
https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/
How many drag performers have you talked to? I've talked to a 8-10. None of them said they were excited by dressing. One actually told me, "Oooh, breasts are gross."
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