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Thread: Crossdresser or something else?

  1. #26
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Shoot, I've had it wrong all these years.

    0006044_crosse-blackwell-chef-low-oil-salad-dressing-20kg.jpg
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  2. #27
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Well things get complicated here IMO. According to a LOT of people, what you described is the ?real? definition of crossdressing. A lot of people consider crossdressing specifically the act of dressing in the opposite gender clothes for sexual gratification. Everyone else would be a trans person expressing their gender.
    Of course there is going to be a chorus of people here who say ?Wait a minute! I dress to express but Im a crossdresser and NOT trans!?

    The bottom line is that most of the vocabulary surrounding our community is currently in transition and flux, so don?t worry too much about the ?proper? terminology because the whole world is still trying to figure that out.

  3. #28
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    I'm amazed at all the responces to my original post..There is obviously more to this lifestyle than I ever imagined..I'm learning a lot reading here and hope to keep learning..Thank you!
    Missy

  4. #29
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Well, for starters quite a few crossdressers wouldn't describe what they do as a "lifestyle", Missy!

    Most that dress out and about often or daily would consider themselves to be trans.

    I'll bet I'm one of few here that is a confirmed CD who wraps her life around her dressing!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  5. #30
    Member OrdinaryAverageGuy's Avatar
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    Why is the label so important? If you wear a skirt but call it a kilt, maybe you're not crossdressing. If you wear a pink shirt from the men's section but you think it's feminine, maybe you are crossdressing. Seriously, if you're here you know what you're doing, and it's probably crossdressing. And that's ok.

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member ShelbyDawn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasLegs View Post
    ... They all have a fetish. If you disagree, I'd love for you to provide me research describing a type of crossdresser that doesn't do it as a sexual fetish.
    TexasLegs,

    I don't need research. I can just point to myself. I've been crossdresing to some extent for over fifty years and it has never, I repeat NEVER been sexual. If I wanted sexual release, I had old Sears catalogs(some of those old corsets models' were damned hot) or my older brother's Playboy magazines for that. Dressing has always been relaxing, a feeling of normalcy for me.

    There are as many reasons men dress as there are men who dress. Even fetish dressers have slight variations on their particular fetish; for some it's stockings, others panties. Some like to dress in latex suits and give the girls in this forum a hard time(Hi DocRob...)

    About the only brush broad enough to paint us all is the one Karen mentioned, we are all people that like to wear clothing generally ascribed to a different gender.

    Love all of you, now it's time for ice cream.
    I am Me and Me is OK!



    Shelby

  7. #32
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
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    There is a factor not mentioned in previous posts.You must be MALE!
    Women have been appropriating male clothes for decades, but no one refers to them as crossdressers. They're "tomboys" or "borrowing guy's shirts" etc..
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  8. #33
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    I think ShelbyDawn nailed it.
    Crissy

  9. #34
    not new anymore just shy VickieBonne's Avatar
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    Recently, my wife says, “They’re just clothes.” So, I’m not sure what I’m doing now?!

  10. #35
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teri Ray View Post
    Go with Karren's ruling. I believe she has a copy of the orginal crossdressers rule book. Might even be one of the contributing editors of the book.
    Mine is a first edition written so long ago, way before womens jeans were invented! Crossdressing at it purest!
    Last edited by Karren H; 09-25-2021 at 10:08 PM.

  11. #36
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasLegs View Post

    Disregarding drag performers and transexuals with gender dysphoria, all crossdressers are transvestites. They all have a fetish. If you disagree, I'd love for you to provide me research describing a type of crossdresser that doesn't do it as a sexual fetish.
    That's not how it works. You've made the assertion. Back it up or don't, but you don't get to transfer that burden to others.
    I will agree that there are a lot of fetish dressers who won't, or can't, admit to it, but you're going to have to show the proof supporting your assertion.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  12. #37
    Aspiring Member ShelbyDawn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crissy 107 View Post
    I think ShelbyDawn nailed it.
    And the ice cream was quite tasty as well, Blue Bell Cookies and Cream.
    I am Me and Me is OK!



    Shelby

  13. #38
    Member XemmaX's Avatar
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    I
    don't think it matters much anymore defining yourself as it seems that the definitions are changing.

  14. #39
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Unless you're referring to drag performers, who get no sexual satisfaction from dressing, this is not correct. All crossdressers, gay or straight, dress for sexual satisfaction.

    Trans do dress for entirely different reasons, I agree. They have gender dysphoria.
    There are also CDs that do it to express themselves as women (in public). Is gender dysphoria only for transexuals? No, there isn't always a dividing line between CDs and transexuals. Each of us have to analyze ours selves to decide where we are on the TG spectrum. And that may change is time goes on!

    I've pointed out many times that we are all unique and now you've seen (in answers to this thread) that some don't dress for sexual arousal. In fact, it seems most don't!
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  15. #40
    Member Vale's Avatar
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    Maybe assigning simple labels to people or behaviors is like naming colors. There are some shades most would call green but a lot of shades we might not agree to simply call green. Neither colors nor people can always be described so simply. That is one reason why life is fun.

    Cheers,
    Vale

  16. #41
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasLegs View Post
    Unless you're referring to drag performers, who get no sexual satisfaction from dressing, this is not correct. All crossdressers, gay or straight, dress for sexual satisfaction.
    No, we don't.

    Quote Originally Posted by MiniRock View Post
    I for one, and perhaps most of us, do it for sexual pleasure.
    ^this is the assumption, made by those who DO do it for sexual pleasure. In order to feel that they are normal, they project their own behavior and feeling onto everyone else, in order to feel that their feelings are the same as the rest of us.

    Quote Originally Posted by donnalee View Post
    There is a factor not mentioned in previous posts.You must be MALE!
    Not true, either. While plenty of women will wear men's clothes, it's not to change what they want their sexuality to display. But a few women WILL wear men's clothing, in order to display that they are masculine. Though not in great numbers, they are out there, most often seen in masculine gay women.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly View Post
    you're going to have to show the proof supporting your assertion.
    The problem is, most crossdressers can't tell you why they do it. There's this huge social stigma against men
    behaving, feeling or displaying femininity, that few are willing to explore the reasons why they do it. To them, it's just simpler to tell others that they were 'born that way'.

    Quote Originally Posted by XemmaX View Post
    I
    don't think it matters much anymore defining yourself as it seems that the definitions are changing.
    The definitions aren't changing. But perhaps slowly, over time, more males will be willing to examine why they want to embrace femininity. But it's not going to happen any time soon. We still have a whole lot of men who can't accept that they have feminine feelings, so much so, that they can't even accept it as part off themselves. Look at all of those who have to go to the extreme off creating a fake feminine persona, to assign all those feminine feelings to, to the point where they need to refer to themselves in third person to avoid any connection between themselves and those female feelings.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 09-25-2021 at 12:43 AM.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  17. #42
    Member Cacique82's Avatar
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    My wife called it crossdressing so I?ll take it. Especially since she?s ok w it.

  18. #43
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I'm going to agree with Karren's definition.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  19. #44
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Complete sense.

    I personally think it's more than crossdressing.
    Crossdressing and the variants of the word is something that no crossdressing people invented to express or explain it but for me, what does it male a man to want and enjoy dressing as a woman? It's not a life style, it's not a hobby. There's something deepnthere in you brain but deep rooted norms of historic society rules had written and we try to explain the inexplicable.

    Fore is just trans people in its wide variety of possibilities.

    The sexual component is just the testosterone in your body confusing you gender with sexual preference. Without testosterone, so after taking testosterone blockers as part of the so called HRT the brain feels free of that poison called testosterone and can see and feel things different and the sexual ingredient lose its power and let pass the real identity.

    Mho.

    Devi
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  20. #45
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post

    The problem is, most crossdressers can't tell you why they do it. There's this huge social stigma against men
    behaving, feeling or displaying femininity, that few are willing to explore the reasons why they do it. To them, it's just simpler to tell others that they were 'born that way'.
    Not argument. I'm fine with that reality. It's the assertion that it's all fetish driven that I am challenging.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  21. #46
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    I agree.
    Last edited by Judy-Somthing; 10-03-2021 at 07:42 AM. Reason: TYPO
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  22. #47
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    Why can't you be a crossdresser AND something else? I'm reminded of that old 50's Eddie Cochran tune "Something Else." The first verse goes:

    A look a-there, here she comes
    There comes that girl again
    Wanted to date her since I don't know when
    But she don't notice me when I pass
    She goes with all the guys from outa my class
    But that can't stop me from a-thinkin' to myself
    She's sure fine-lookin' man, she's something else

  23. #48
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    As a wearer of beautiful/romantic sleepwear & lingerie there is definitely a sexual component to it but I don't consider it to be a "fetish", fetish makes it sound dirty imo. I love getting ready for bed every night in my lingerie and I feel it's a part of who I am, not simply a kinky fetish.

  24. #49
    Junior Member crobeson96's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenMe View Post
    Drag performers are crossdressers, by definition. It's a very large umbrella. They are wearing the clothing of the opposite gender. And they very well COULD get turned on by dressing.
    I looked it up in the Wiki - Drag performers are crossdressing but they are not cross dressers. A cross dresser wears clothing of the opposite sex BECAUSE it is of the opposite sex (not because it is their job).
    Except some drag performers might really, really enjoy their job.

  25. #50
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    Because

    A crossdresser is someone who chooses to wear the clothing associated with a person of the opposite gender because that clothing is associated with the opposite gender

    Greetings, everyone. I like the definition above most of all. Yes, to me, a teenage girl wearing her dad's flannel shirt is not crossdressing (verb) or a crossdresser (noun), but a man who wears a bra and stockings because he is attracted to women's underwear is crossdressing. If this is a repetitious act, then he is a crossdresser.

    I very seldom wear women's underwear or outerwear, but it does happen and I do have a small collection for when the temptation arises, so I am an occasional crossdresser. I have a beard and I do not try to imitate a woman's look or behavior, so I am not really "presenting as the opposite gender." I do not believe "presentation" needs to be a part of the definition of crossdressing.

    Let us consider the subcategory of underdresser. This would be a man presenting as male to the world but perhaps wearing women's lingerie underneath the male drab. While I am drawn to wearing women's clothing, especially underwear, I have no interest in wearing a dress in public, so I may wear only women's underwear under my male clothing. Dresses I wear only while home alone, presenting to no one but the guy in the mirror.

    Sexual orientation is also not a factor. I used to identify as bisexual, but I have not been with a woman in a few decades so I now identify more as gay. I am a very masculine man and am perfectly comfortable feeling and acting masculine while crossdressing.

    Lastly, I keep seeing the word "fetish" in this thread and I am not comfortable with it. To me, I perhaps prefer the word "kink," which to me implies that the crossdressing is enjoyable but not required for sexual satisfaction.

    CeCe
    Last edited by Di; 10-30-2021 at 04:41 PM. Reason: Read the rules Please / support forum cds , and family/ not appropriate going into detail about your sex life

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