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Thread: Own it.

  1. #1
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Own it.

    I was always complaining about carrying my phone, wallet and keys in my pocket and always pulling up my pants. My wife bought me a male cross bag and Friday night I wore it out, I thought I wasn't a stereotype person but it felt like everyone was staring at me. This is why I have so much respect for all of you who go out dressed, it must take a lot of courage and confidence.
    My son in law wears one but he's a bigger boy and it blends in with him and I asked him how he wears it and if he notices people staring at him. He told me that I have to hold my head high and "OWM IT" with confidence and look back at them like there the one with the problem for not using one, and that does not only apply with that but with everything in general. That was great advice and it came in handy this morning. I was outside and the lady across the street came over for some small talk, her 2 yr old son ran over to me and we gave high fives and our secret hand shake we joke with. The kid ran off and she came close to me and asked me if I was wearing a thong. I guess when I bent over to greet her son she seen it, instead of freaking out I took my son in laws advice and "OWN IT". I gave her a wink and told her that yes I do wear one and how about if we keep it our little secret. Surprisingly she gave me a devil like grin and said off course and winked back at me. Well I don't know how good she could keep a secret but I felt like I owned it. I thought I would share that and I guess we have to have a positive attitude.

  2. #2
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    good for you I like it "OWN IT We all have to do more of that and I think we'll find people don't care how you're dressed or what you wear. I live in a eclectic beach town in San Diego or thats what people say about where I live and you see all kind of weird walking the streets. We all notice it but nobody cares if we did what could we do about anyway
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  3. #3
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    The hardest thing in the world...

    https://youtu.be/fw30yjccnD4
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  4. #4
    Member MiniRock's Avatar
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    Fantastic way to deal with the situation Maria. You don't need permission to do things your way, just confidence. Personally, I don't feel a proclivity to wear clothes of the opposite sex needs to be kept a secret anyway. If women could see how many normal men would/do find it agreeable, they would probably not get so agitated about it. Probably!

  5. #5
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    I've used a crossbody bag of different sizes for over 5 years and never had an issue. Once when pumping gas another user complemented me on the bag. This is in male mode and I approach it as just wearing another computer bag. You have an issue with that, I sure don't. I like the size that will hold a paperback book, as ofter have to wait and pockets are just not big enough for most paperbacks.

  6. #6
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I agree that many dysphoric trans should probably own it.

    But, I'm a CD. So, if I carried a purse everywhere? 1/2 the time I wouldn't be "owning it", I'd be guilty of "false advertising"!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    You did own it Maria

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I've had a cross body bag for several years now; it is female but subtle. Sometimes I can own it, other times not so much. it is an ongoing struggle.

    Jodie: I loved the video. I found myself weeping a little toward the end. For a lifelong, pre-internet crossdresser, even with a fair amount of support, it was a reminder of how much self doubt we all have to, and often have, overcome.

    I'm very careful about keeping my underwear hidden, it's a conversation I don't want to have. I think Maria handled it well.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
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    I don't know if women are aware that any type of underwear can be very visible if the outerwear is stretched tightly over the butt. Not too long ago I was walking behind a woman who was wear a form fitting dress that revealed she was wearing a thong. I wondered if it was her intent to advertise she was wearing a thong or just did not know or care. It draw attention to her nice butt.

  10. #10
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
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    After you have been out a couple hundred times it becomes quite natural.

  11. #11
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Years ago, I worked with a guy who carried what he called a "pantless pocket" (He was always dressed in the latest fashions and $150 sneakers.) Many of the other people in the office teased him about it, calling it a purse. He would always insist that it was a "pantless pocket".

    One day, four of us went out to lunch, two women, this guy and me. After we finished lunch and walked out the door, a waitress came running out holding his "pantless pocket" and calling out "Wait, you forgot your purse!"

    He had a hard time living that down.

    Personally, I don't carry enough stuff around to need a "bag".
    Krisi

  12. #12
    Senior Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    I dress often and go out. I pass reasonably well but sometimes I just don?t want to go to the trouble of makeup, wigs, etc. I started wearing women?s denim leggings about a year ago. At first I was very self conscious, not anymore. I wear them all the time now, even to work, along with a nice baggalini for my wallet, keys, and phone.

  13. #13
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by April Rose View Post

    Jodie: I loved the video. I found myself weeping a little toward the end. For a lifelong, pre-internet crossdresser, even with a fair amount of support, it was a reminder of how much self doubt we all have to, and often have, overcome.
    I've watched that video, at least 20 times, and I still tear up, Cici's gentle humour, her delivery, and her plain spoken, matter-of-fact delivery, make it very real.

    As she pointed out, there are many who would say that I am not transgendered; I've had no surgeries, I'm not on hormones, and my hair is not naturally grown from my scalp. Although I DO live full time, 24/7/365.

    IMHO. Cici is a a real role model, and an inspiration for everyone. In fact, she was the inspiration for me to make that "giant leap" out of my front door.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  14. #14
    Junior Member JenniferWhenCD's Avatar
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    Cici is great! I have owned a medium sized leather tooled purse for a number of years. I carry it every day, dressed and not. I have receivrd many compliments, in both male and female presentation. I tend to call it a purse, others call it a satchel at times in male presentation. No negative comments at all.

  15. #15
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Sounds like a nice idea, until I remember having the snot beaten out of me on a regular basis when I was a kid, just for being different. I don't want to have to live out the 'boy named Sue' experience of having to fight my way through life, just because some homophobes want to prove to the world that he's tougher than 'the big sissy'. Because now, I'm big enough to kill them and that wouldn't go over well in most courts... not to mention, very expensive to pay for all the lawyer bills.

    Be careful out there. Walk away if you can, when confronted by imbeciles.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  16. #16
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    I honestly don't see a problem wearing a crossbag. I was a crossdresser years ago and for the se reason as you I start wearing one but my secret reason was to wear something as a woman in public.

    I think there's is what you should "own it ". Recognize that you're more than a crossdresser but just looking for something else....
    Instagram @devisanm, Facebook Devi San Martin
    HRT 04302018 Full time 03/2019
    Electrolysis on face started 08/2019, down there for SRS 06/2021
    Orchiectomy 06/03/2020
    Legal name and gender marker changed 10/26/2020

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