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Thread: Out of control

  1. #1
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Out of control

    After dinner my wife brought a Marshalls bag to the table and told me she bought me something, but we're going to play a game. She pulled a beautiful summer dress out of the bag and she told me now the rules of the game. I have a choice, take the new dress but I have to remove a dress from my closet or she returns the new dress. I told her I don't like this game, she said I have to much stuff and it's getting out of control. She said my stuff is always a mess because I have to move stuff to get to other stuff and that I'm becoming a hoarder. She suggested that we go through my stuff and I will realize I don't even know what I have.
    We just finished now and it was hard to let anything go, I always want choice and I have to admit I did have stuff I didn't know I had. I guess I could have never imagined finding a women to accept or support this that when I throw something out it feels like I'm taking the situation for granted.
    I have wrote before about my collecting problem but tonight we did a good clean up and now I'm going to play the game of if something comes in something goes out.
    I sure I'm not the only collector here?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Glenda58's Avatar
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    I too have more stuff than I need. Having a hard time getting rid of things. Finding dresses at are to small or short. Most of the things I'm getting rid of are to small and old. But my wife doesn't help
    GLENDA
    I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

  3. #3
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    You should go along with the idea an get rid of the things that just don't work for you. You can get some new things that you may like better. It sounds like your wife is being helpful.
    SuziH

  4. #4
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    I find it difficult to get rid of my women?s clothing. In my mind, male clothing simply covers my body but my female clothing transforms the appearance of my body so it becomes a lot more personal. That coupled with the fact that I know I have worn some of those items out and about , and that I have fond memories of those outings causes them to have a sentimental value as well.

    Of course the only help I would get should I ask my wife would be this ? That?s easy , throw them all out?, so count your blessings. : )

    If I had no restrictions, I am sure I would have a large collection.

    Sandi

  5. #5
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Its a potent thing, that connection that can emerge between objects and the human mind. I suppose that every hoarder has her unique psychological association, but in the end the items fill a need and in doing so yield some sort of satisfaction, that endorphin rush, perhaps.

    What your wife and you did was help break that connection by physically demonstrating that any one thing can be discarded and replaced by another. The items themselves lose the power given them. Besides, its so much more fun to try and buy new things than to keep dredging out the old outfits.

    Post script: Perhaps there is one good thing about a major purge. It rather aggressively severs emotional attachments between a person and her cherished items.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member DanielleDubois's Avatar
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    I rationalize thinning out the Danielle closet because it makes room for new stuff. My strategy is to look at the item and if I can’t remember when I last wore it it’s time for it to go in the op shop bag.

  7. #7
    Member Lori Ann Westlake's Avatar
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    I have a collectng problem too. I have so much stuff in one closet that the weight brought the rail and shelf down off the wall!

  8. #8
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I am a collector too - I am getting better about tossing things that do not fit or just do not work for my Apple body. You have a great wife

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    My wife and I have for a long time now, operated on a policy of one item in, one item out.

  10. #10
    Member Mermaiden's Avatar
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    On a smaller scale, I just ordered about 10 new pairs of Jockey panties. They feel great and come in cute patterns. And I threw away old panties either because they weren?t very pretty, or not as comfortable. There was a moment of hesitation as I dropped some lace trimmed old panties in the trash, but then I thought about they were a little scratchy to wear and how much I like the new ones.

  11. #11
    Member ronny0's Avatar
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    Yep I now consider myself a full-time hoarder......
    The concept of one item in for out item out might be a win/win option.
    Still most of us know we have items we might never fit into again, or that just look awful.
    But for many their is comfort in knowing that some day I might need a pair of 6" heels....
    Even though I now tend to buy more conservative shoes for fear of falling / tripping

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Trish's Avatar
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    A year ago, I took 200 (yes 200) dresses to Goodwill, along with a bunch of skirts and tops. It was hard to get rid of some, but it needed to be done. Now I have more room, and don't feel as bad buying new clothes.

  13. #13
    Member Cassiek's Avatar
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    Go along with it. Sounds like great opportunity to try new styles.

  14. #14
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    I think many of us have "too much stuff". We are moving to a new house soon and are going through things and trying to get rid of some things we don't use.

    I went through my skirts and blouses a while back and sent a lot of things off to charity. I was playing with my new video camera yesterday and realized that the skirt I was wearing looked really bad on me so that's going to go as well. I should really do this with all my clothes and weed out whatever doesn't look good on me.
    Krisi

  15. #15
    Platinum Member
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    I was totally out of control. Now I am a little out of control. Recently I was looking for a formal white slip/ankle length. I went through 22 Xerox boxes of "stuff" and still could not find it. I found lots of "stuff" I clearly had forgotten about. Part of my problem is not having the ability to hang things in a closet or really stock up my armoire. That's a problem of DADT. It's not hidden from my wife. It is just not on display. Hence, I have lost track of what I have with the exception of a word document with accompanying pictures of the 162 dresses I own. If I did do a purge, the charity shop I have donated to in the past would be overwhelmed.

  16. #16
    Silver Member SherriePall's Avatar
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    My problem is my not throwing clothing out because it might someday fit me again. Unfortunately, it would only take a little bit of effort on my part to accomplish that. Unfortunately, it would only take a little bit of effort which seems to be greater than what I can summon at this moment.
    Sherrie Lynn Pall

    Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.

    Please don't let me be the last post on this thread

  17. #17
    Yendis Sidney's Avatar
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    When I use to have male cloths every spring I would go thru closets and draws and if it hadn't been worn in a year out it went. Now my fem cloths, different story. It was like I was throwing a piece of me away if I tossed anything. We are in the process of buying a new house. Even though I will have more closet and draw space my wife and I both have started the process of going thru our cloths. It hasn't been easy for me but I have been amazed at what I had been keeping, nonfitting, worn and torn and those things I shouldn't have bought in the first place. My wife has been a doll and encouraging saying look how much space you have now to store your new clothing. That thought has made it easier. I am very blessed to have my wife.

  18. #18
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    We have had that rule for both of us for a few years now.
    One in and one out. Buy a new item, be it a top, dress, skirt, shoes, whatever and sell/donate an old one. It's actually not that hard once you get going. You find there are so many things that you haven't worn in ages and it's really a shame to let them just hang in the closet when someone could be enjoying them.
    Wear something pretty every day !

  19. #19
    Member Alexis00's Avatar
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    Sounds like a helpful game! As long as she keeps buying, keep playing!

    Have about a three lifetime supply of bras. 2021 has been the year of the sports bra. Also have five sizes of breast forms.

    Need more shoes, tops, dress and skirt supply are OK.

  20. #20
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Maria, I guess I'm out of control as well..
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  21. #21
    Feminine Fun Staci's Avatar
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    It is very hard to get rid of things. When I first started crossdressing I would buy things and then purge and then buy and purge. Just getting to the point of being comfortable with who I am and keeping those items through the urge to purge was a big deal. My wife helped me a lot there. Now I do have quite a collection. So we also Have agreed that in order to add something new I choose something to donate.

  22. #22
    Junior Member Jennifer956's Avatar
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    This is just my two cents but I like this game get rid of old get new I see a win win get new stuff every weel

  23. #23
    Silver Member
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    I have more clothes than I know of. I had a large collection and was gifted by a woman fried who was going through a divorce and got her figure back. Her husband was the one that paid for both of our new wardrobes. No we were not a couple, she caught him and his girlfriend.My wife and I are downsizing and we both need to clean out closets.

  24. #24
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    I also accumulate too much stuff for various reasons. I have to go through and thin it out at times. I have a friend who used a rule like Cheryl mentioned with her husband and kids all the time. If you get a new shirt or whatever, one needs to go away.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like you have a fantastic wife there and if you don't come to terms with your hoarding, whatever headaches may develop as a result will be entirely on you.

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