Such a teensy weensy step... bought some shoes/clothing *publicly*

[Marissa Q]

I've dressed countless hours in private and I've never gone out en femme (but, of course, want to at some point in the near future). I have a decently-sized wardrobe, but everything I own has been bought online. I'm fortunate in that my weight doesn't fluctuate, and my size choices for buying-without-trying have been on point. But the real fact of the matter is that Marissa is still pretty much completely closeted.
Yesterday, though, I was in a store and decided to sneak a look at women's shoes. I've done this before. You know.... getting just a quick "glance" at the goods? "Glancing" quickly during a hurried walkthrough (and I do mean hurried) is about all I've ever done in a mall/store. I lingered a minute or so, looking at some pumps, while other women -- with their husbands in some cases -- milled around shopping for shoes in the same area. As usual, I thought about employing some of my usual "tricks" such as looking at the text messages on my phone or taking a picture as if I was shopping for a wife/girlfriend. But...

... then this forum came into my mind. Even my brief membership here flooded me with confidence and made me recall that I've essentially committed to gradually eliminating the fear of coming out. I then asked myself: "If I can't even shop for shoes in public with a measure of pride and dignity, how could I even contemplate telling close friends about Marissa?" It's such a small thing, but a switch clicked, and I just decided to own it, even embrace it. I spent a full, leisurely half hour checking out some shoes that caught my eye and ultimately bought a gorgeous pair of grey 4" pumps. I loved them, wanted them, and then bought them, all with the innate knowledge that others who were shopping near me as well as the sales clerk knew that those pumps were for me and no one else.

I left the shoe department feeling a lot better about myself and -- for once -- didn't feel cheated out of a bona fide human experience due to fear of utterly inconsequential social stigma.

THEN my brain clicked again as I passed women's activewear, and I ended up shopping for and purchasing two pairs of leggings that caught my eye. My male side was still poking me to hurry up, but I calmed and took my time once again. And... it made me happy!

Again, I know the above is such a small thing, but it was a first for me, and it wouldn't have happened without all the courageous threads I've read here.