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  1. #1
    Senior Member Linda K.'s Avatar
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    Talking Too Tall!

    I am 6 - 1 and in heels, well you can do the math. I am currently looking for a nice pair of flats for around the house while doing chores but I do like a nice pair of heels while wearing skirts and dresses. So my question is, how do you deal with being tall while trying to be passable at the same time?

  2. #2
    Member Diane426's Avatar
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    Im 5.12 I was told and I finally believed this forum to just own it and go for it. So glad I did.
    Diane. 🎀

  3. #3
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    My daughter is about 6 ft without shoes so heels make her pretty tall. She mostly uses flats or low heals as she does not need the height. Regardless, she obviously passes despite being quite tall.

    Sandi

  4. #4
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    You just don't worry about being passable, easy peasy! I'm 6' even and always wear heels (normally 2.5 - 3" for daily things) and my height is never an issue.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    I to am six even in bare feet, I wear my heels as needed. normally 1.5 to 2,5 but I have some 4" heels. They go on my feet just fine and get worn as needed. I just bought some size 12 Amazon essential Prime flats at a fair price.
    Leslie Mary Shy
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  6. #6
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    I wish I was shorter. easier to buy dresses that fit and I just want to blend in

  7. #7
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    I always found tall women attractive. From my 5'7" point of view it was always something I admired in both women and men. So I say go for it, get as high a heels as you like. I'm sure there are many who would find you more than passable

  8. #8
    Senior Member Linda K.'s Avatar
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    DocRobbySherry - I am just basing the ability to be perceived as passable on the average height of a woman. When I am wearing my heels and I am at 6' 5", then I won't be blending in very well. I guess I don't mind being noticed, just not stared at when I am a foot taller than any other women around. I don't want to be confined to dressing at home only, and don't mind being noticed, but I don't want to be stared at with people thinking, "What the hell is that?!" From what I have read on this site, many others are going through the same difficulty dealing with this as I am. I guess as I gain some more confidence, I will be okay with handling this. As I said to a friend of mine, baby steps. I'll be there one day!

  9. #9
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    There are many women who are over 6 feet tall! Dress your best and go for it! There is a commercial on TV and the couple are dancing! The woman is a head taller than the man! Tall women really exist! Get out there, you won't regret it! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
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  10. #10
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    I'm 6'5" and have been out in 4" heels. You just hold your head high, and DO IT.

  11. #11
    Member Michaela Jane's Avatar
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    I am 6'3" and was in a grocery store today in "stealth" mode, femme shorts, femme sneakers, femme tee and the usual underdressing. A lovely young lady behind me in the checkout line had only one item so I let her in front of me. She was as tall as me so I ain't worried about being tall anymore.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Linda, I'm 6'2, and I know I'm not passing so I just wear what I like. I don't wear 5" heels, but I do wear 1-3" heels.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  13. #13
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    Around 6’2” as well. I dress to look nice and blend in and often notice other women around my height. Not many, granted, but its rare for me to go out in any busy place without seeing at least a few other women of my height. And besides, I do enjoy being out in the real world.
    Last edited by kimdl93; 09-30-2021 at 11:12 AM.
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  14. #14
    Reality Check
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    re: "So my question is, how do you deal with being tall while trying to be passable at the same time?"

    You wear flats. Most really tall women do the same.
    Krisi

  15. #15
    Senior Member Linda K.'s Avatar
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    Leslie - I have noticed that too. Most women wear flats, especially when there is a lot of walking planned for their day. Over the years, I have noticed they tend to only wear heels when they go out for the evening or at the office, that is why they wear gym shoes to the office and change into heels once they get there. I guess I will learn how to present myself in public as my journey unfolds for me. Right now, I am searching for a pair of flats in my size.

    Thank you to everyone that gave advice here. I really do appreciate it all!

    Love,

    Linda

  16. #16
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Six feet is tall, for a woman, not at all unheard of, but not less than 1 in 100 women are six feet or more. In other words, we stand out. Since "passing" is a myth, and "blending" is next to impossible for a women of such height, embrace and accept. You should be who you are. Honestly, a smile and lady-like comportment are easier to accomplish and far more effective than trying to pass or blend.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member HK SPICY GIRL's Avatar
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    I am a very lucky 5ft 4in man. It is commonly accepted by both men and weman in Hong Kong. And I always wear 4in heels to go out.
    IMG_0132C2.jpg
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][SIZE="3"]

    I am a middle age Hong Kong Chinese man, my dream is to become a Racing Queen in real life.
    My adventage is having a slim body 5 ft. 4 in. tall, weights only 122 Lb., white skin and slim hands and legs.
    [/SIZE]

  18. #18
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Aunt Kelly is right. Passing is a myth. A trans acquaintance says, "I just do it because that is who I am." She is 7' 4", but does not wear heels. Sometimes she must duck going through doorways. I'm 5'8" so you can imagine what it looks like when we are standing and talking, especially when I am in partial male mode and she is in her usual female presentation. Must blow up the male and female expectation of size differences in the minds of people who expect the tall one of a couple to be the male.

  19. #19
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I'm 6' also.
    When I began going out I was very nervous about my height and my love of heels made that worse. It took a little time but you just have to exude confidence. No matter what you wear, no matter where you go you must carry yourself in a manner that says "I belong here". If you are nervous and concerned over your appearance others will pick up on it. You can't be the "deer in the headlights".
    You don't worry about your height in male mode, don't worry about it in heels either. There are plenty of tall women in the world.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  20. #20
    Junior Member Meeshell's Avatar
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    The ladies are right. Look around, there are plenty of 6 foot women around. In fact I know a couple women, personally, that are pushing 6'4" who wear 5" heels on a regular basis.

    My concern is not "passable", per se, but "pleasant", so what it boiled down to for me is: I'm 5'11", give or take, and wear a size 12 women's shoe, and I get along with up to 4 inch heels pretty well. I decided I'd rather look like an Amazon in heels, than Frankenstein in flats. Plus heels really tend to make your legs look great.

    Hugs
    Meeshell
    I'm not a woman trapped in a man's body.
    "not that there's anything wrong with that"-George Costanza
    I just feel pretty in pink

  21. #21
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meeshell View Post
    My concern is not "passable", per se, but "pleasant"
    ^this.
    As far as height goes, I'm six foot four, my sister is six feet tall even. Currently she wears a size 13 women's shoes, so she's worn men's sneakers and penny loafers and such androgenous casual footwear for most of her life. Zero heels; she had a pair when she was in I think 6th grade, but as she was close to her adult height by age 14, never again for heels.
    And you'd never mistake her for a guy, no matter what she's wearing. Likewise, you'd never mistake me for a woman, no matter what I'm wearing, unless of course it was during a blackout, with no moon, during an eclipse, in a coal mine, from 100 yards away... and even then, just maybe.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  22. #22
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    ^this.
    As far as height goes, I'm six foot four, my sister is six feet tall even. Currently she wears a size 13 women's shoes, so she's worn men's sneakers and penny loafers and such androgenous casual footwear for most of her life. Zero heels; she had a pair when she was in I think 6th grade, but as she was close to her adult height by age 14, never again for heels.
    And you'd never mistake her for a guy, no matter what she's wearing. Likewise, you'd never mistake me for a woman, no matter what I'm wearing, unless of course it was during a blackout, with no moon, during an eclipse, in a coal mine, from 100 yards away... and even then, just maybe.
    Well I can 100% understand where you are coming from now. Being 6ft 4ins myself and having a sister who is 5 ft 12 ins tall. So she has always said. My sister choose to exploit her height and looks when younger and was reasonably successful as a fashion model, competing on the Paris Tokyo London circuit for several years. It's not just our physical build that makes us who we are, as we all know. What's inside is a huge part of it. But society dictates that physical build is a huge part of who we can be. To ignore that takes more strength and courage than I have ever had. Having a wife I adore and who loves me (Though mostly the male side of me) keeps me sane and enjoying a very good life. If I could pass as a woman, I am pretty sure my life would have been very different. But I never could and I never will. So to all of us out there, just make the best of what you have and enjoy life. Only one go at it.
    Last edited by Jane G; 11-15-2021 at 11:49 AM.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Linda K.'s Avatar
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    Spicy Girl - I like your outfit, it is very nice. Unfortunately, I cannot find a skirt that short in my size!

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member kellyanne's Avatar
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    I know how it feels - not to worry - here are some easy ways to dampen height visually:

    1. Dress in layers - tops and bottoms of different colors and motif - the " stacked " appearance breaks up the vertical lines, try shirts and tops with rounded neck lines or shallow V's over deep & sharp vees.
    2. Likewise, wear a wig that emphases width & volume more than length, a straight wig with long locks adds to the verticals.
    3. Use your jewelry and accents to add to these effects - try wearing a belt, make triad of prominent jewelry around your face to create its own layer, pearls are an easy way to see this effect.

    So if you have a black skirt with colored or motif top with white in it + pearl necklace and earrings can pull from the whites - there are 3 prominent layers there - add the shoes & stockings is 4

    When you add them al up - they can have a big effect on appearance. To demo it - try a mono color dress vs the layered look and see how you feel.
    Try a bright colored top or white or nice motif top + belt + black bottom vs 1 color - the effect is very apparent.

    I have had a tough go finding s 12 flats too and have always ben self conscious more than is apt about my height en femme .
    Last edited by kellyanne; 10-04-2021 at 09:08 AM.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by kellyanne View Post
    I have had a tough go finding s 12 flats too and have always ben self conscious more than is apt about my height en femme .
    https://www.shoeshowmega.com/shoe-sh...width&prefv2=W

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by AngelaYVR View Post
    ........ I still do not understand why so many people here think they are passing. You are not. You are either not noticed or people simply do not react the way you think they would.
    Well, it all depends on how you define "passing". If "passing" is defined as doing out on a date with a guy and he doesn't figure out that you are a dude, you are probably right.

    If passing is defined as you are walking on the sidewalk and someone walking the other way thinks they just passed a woman, then you passed. I believe some of us can pull that off.

    "Passing" is a moving target. It depends on where you are and what you are doing. And of course, your presentation and physical size.
    Krisi

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