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Thread: Three Cheeses

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Stevie, I appreciate your elaboration. Thanks. However, my initial post was discussing the men we encounter who look and act and present like men and inhabit the vanilla world that we sometimes choose to venture into. It does not apply to men who are actively engaged in crossdressing when we encounter them. That's a whole other branch of the evolutionary tree.

    Also, the difference between type two and type three is that #2 treats you like a human, with attention and consideration. His approach is, let's get to know each other. #3 treats you like a sex toy. His approach is, how fast can I put my willy inside of you.

    Sometimes #3 can be a blast, but the difference is night and day.
    Last edited by MonicaPVD; 10-05-2021 at 12:40 PM.

  2. #27
    Member Lori Ann Westlake's Avatar
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    Like Krisi, I haven't been out in public very much (including a couple of times with my wife) and have never been approached by any men. For that, like Krisi, I feel grateful, because I wouldn't be sure how to respond either! So I'm afraid I don't have anything to contribute in the way of personal experience with men while dressed.

    However, I am curious about what drives these "chaser" types, #3. Why would a purportedly "straight" man be especially attracted to crossdressers?

    If many chasers are looking exclusively to receive oral sex, as Doc mentioned--and I do get that impression from other sources--that at least seems understandable. The chaser can indulge in that activity while still maintaining the illusion that it's a woman who is "servicing" him, while other forms of sex might seem altogether "too gay" for a straight man. Yet that still doesn't explain why they find CDers so unusually attractive compared with women.

    Is it because some CDers (NOT all) go "over the top" in trying to look sexy and alluring, compared with ordinary women?

    Or is it because these chasers have a perception, rightly or wrongly, that a CDer is "hot to trot" and ready to give them instant sex, compared with the average woman who, if she's willing at all, certainly prefers to be "wooed" a little?

    None of these explanations seems adequate to me, and I can't help thinking that these chasers are not so much "straight" as covertly bisexual. Making it with a CDer fulfills the fantasy of romping with both sexes at the same time: the "best of both worlds" to anyone with dual orientation, It certainly fits with Stevie's description of gyneandromorphophilia. What a glorious word! I wondered for a moment whether it wasn't more euphonious to call it 'androgynemorphophilia," until it struck me that "AGMP" is not a pronounceable acronym, while "GAMP" is. It's also slang for an umbrella, named after Dickens's "Sairey Gamp."

    Monica, I wonder whether you had any particular cheeses in mind when you titled this thread. I was thinking about plain Cheddar for tyep 1, fine Stilton for type 2, and pungent Limburger for type 3.

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Lori Ann -

    You make some salient points, but the bottom line is that the world is full of hetero-normative men who are into CDs. There are a million reasons why they are, but they are nonetheless. Now, it has been my experience that the motivation behind their interest dictates their behavior directly. Some are closeted gay, others are closeted CD, others are just very curious individuals, and others are just horny and motivated by the stereotype or trope of the sex-crazed CD or transwoman. There are plenty of "straight" men who would not turn down consequence-free sexual gratification under any circumstances and with any willing partner. Ever. Porn plays a big role in perpetuating that stereotype but we gurls are often guilty of that as well. It's all good. My intention was not to make value judgments, simply to map out the most common variety of hetero-normative men who may typically come onto us when we are out dressed. As I have stated in other responses, this is based on my experience and may differ slightly or immensely from other CDs' experiences.
    Last edited by MonicaPVD; 10-05-2021 at 08:03 PM.

  4. #29
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    However, I am curious about what drives these "chaser" types, #3. Why would a purportedly "straight" man be especially attracted to crossdressers?
    Can any of us fully explain why WE choose to dress in the clothes of the opposite sex? I just know it's something I've wanted to do since I was about seven years old.

    The same can certainly apply to chasers. They don't know why, they just do.

    There are some (only a handful, I'm sure) women that are attracted to MTF crossdressers too. Again, why? Who knows?

    If we don't want others to judge us for the way we like to dress occasionally, then shouldn't we have some tolerance for those men who have an attraction for us? Shouldn't it be a two-way street?
    Last edited by TheHiddenMe; 10-06-2021 at 11:29 AM.
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  5. #30
    Sunshine Gal AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    HiddenMe, you are so correct. I also believe these men can be called nominally straight because it is the feminine facade that attracts them, I doubt they are chasing after men. Just as many of the self proclaimed straight CDs here would take the first opportunity to jump into bed with another CD. I was told by a woman who took a fancy to me that the whole thing is just erotic, the female form with the male appendage turned her on greatly and she otherwise called herself straight. My wife agrees, she loves the whole look (mostly the stockings, part of the reason I wear them exclusively). I think, therefore, that we can agree that what's good for the goose is good for the gander! We're equal opportunity when it comes to admiration.

    Finally, for those who fret about being hit on by guys: you aren't suddenly going to turn gay. If anything, it's a huge compliment and I personally think it's very sweet when some poor sap gets up the gumption to make a move - I feel bad for them when I turn them down.

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member josie_S's Avatar
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    This is a good thread. I've encountered all three types before, although by far I've encountered #3 the most. Sometimes I think I've encountered the second type, but they became a #3 very fast. In fact, I'm certain I've encountered a "unicorn" only once, and *I* was so nervous and jaded that I turned him away. Part of me still kicks myself over it

  7. #32
    Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelaYVR View Post
    Finally, for those who fret about being hit on by guys: you aren't suddenly going to turn gay. If anything, it's a huge compliment and I personally think it's very sweet when some poor sap gets up the gumption to make a move - I feel bad for them when I turn them down.
    A perfect example of the male/female, pursuer/pursued dynamic I was talking about. You might feel bad when having to turn someone down, but that's the power we did not wield when playing for the "other team."

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    Quote Originally Posted by josie_S View Post
    In fact, I'm certain I've encountered a "unicorn" only once, and *I* was so nervous and jaded that I turned him away. Part of me still kicks myself over it
    I think most GG's have at least one "that got away". You might kick yourself over it, but having the power to make that selection among pursuers to me is huge. As it is said however, with great power comes great responsibility, to yourself and others.

  8. #33
    Member Lori Ann Westlake's Avatar
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    Monica, thanks for your illuminating comments. The complexity of human sexuality is a fascinating topic, and I?m sure you?ve had more adventures in this field that I have! I may have been laboring under an illusion all these years. I always thought that if a man was truly "straight," he would usually have a positive inhibition, even a repulsion, toward sex with other men--and perhaps vice versa for gay men. On the "gay" side, I've never forgotten reading long ago about a covertly gay radio personality who allegedly told someone--and I quote-- that "the touch of a woman's hand made him feel sick." Of course that's an extreme, even pathological example of such repugnance toward a "non-preferred sex." I had to feel sorry for the fellow with such colossal hangups. Maybe he had serious "mother issues" or something. I don?t imagine for a moment that most gay men feel that way about women. And speaking for myself, of course the touch of a man's hand doesn't "make ne feel sick." It just isn't sexual, that's all, and speaking for myself, I wouldn't personally want to have sex with another man. Never in a male role, at any rate, and probably not at all. So this is an illustration of the kind of inhibition against "non-preferred sex" that I'm talking about. Incidentally it makes sense to me that while Nature would implant a strong drive within most of us to copulate with the opposite sex in order to ensure procreation of our species, it also makes sense that Nature would implant inhibitions in most of us to ensure we didn't fritter away this powerful drive by copulating with the "wrong sex," or with the "wrong species" such as sheep, etc. Some of us are just different, that's all.

    These inhibitions against "non-preferred sex" may be true of some, but it also seems from your comments that for some people, sexual "preference" means just that. In other words: "This is the kind of sex I prefer, but if not, I'l take anything going!" Well, we live and learn!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenMe View Post
    Can any of us fully explain why WE choose to dress in the clothes of the opposite sex? I just know it's something I've wanted to do since I was about seven years old.

    The same can certainly apply to chasers. They don't know why, they just do.

    There are some (only a handful, I'm sure) women that are attracted to MTF crossdressers too. Again, why? Who knows?
    That's another interesting difference between people. Some of us like to analyze things and understand the "why," including how human minds work. Others apparently don't care. This topic was briefly touched on in another recent thread. Somebody said "Why worry about analyzing things?" Well, I do agree we shouldn't "worry"! All those needless worries like "Am I gay?" and the rest of it. Luckily that never bothered me. Self-comprehension on the other hand can be rewarding, if we have that mindset. I've figured out a couple of intriguing things about myself as a crossdresser. If I were a "chaser" instead, I know I'd want to figure out "why" as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenMe View Post
    If we don't want others to judge us for the way we like to dress occasionally, then shouldn't we have some tolerance for those men who have an attraction for us? Shouldn't it be a two-way street?
    It's not clear to me from anyone on this thread that "tolerance" (or lack of it) is an issue, or that anyone is being judgmental of certain men simply because they're attracted to crossdressers. I think it was clear from Monica's initial and subsequent posts that if there's a "problem," it's not with the nature of anyone's sexuality per se, only with "unwanted attention"--especially persistent unwanted attention from some people, irrespective of their sexuality, Thats's a separate issue. After all, enough women complain about unwanted "sexual harassment" from perfectly straight men. And one member here complained recently about being followed round a bar from one spot to another by a literal "chaser" who just wouldn't take a hint, and she couldn't get rid of him. "Obnoxious behavior" is a completely separate matter from sexuality. In other and different situations, some CDers wouldn't be having any fun without those chasers, as I think Monica was pointing out.

    Quote Originally Posted by AngelaYVR View Post
    I was told by a woman who took a fancy to me that the whole thing is just erotic, the female form with the male appendage turned her on greatly and she otherwise called herself straight.
    There is more in this remark than you know, Angela. In sexual orientation it is perfectly possible to have what I'd call "crossed wires," which can only be understood by a process of analysis (as I mentioned earlier,) which means literally "breaking something down into its component parts" and comprehending how they can vary separately and indepdendently of one another. I ought to start a thread about that.

    Quote Originally Posted by AngelaYVR View Post
    ...for those who fret about being hit on by guys: you aren't suddenly going to turn gay. If anything, it's a huge compliment and I personally think it's very sweet when some poor sap gets up the gumption to make a move - I feel bad for them when I turn them down.
    Well, if any of us are trying to look feminine and attractive, certainly it's a compliment! But if anyone feels disconcerted by being unexpectedly hit on by a guy, that's understandable in view of the possibly complex emotions involved. Anyone might feel confused and awkward if they don't have an appropriate response prepared, and perhaps (as we humans are prone to do) illogically inclined to blame the guy for "making" us feel awkward. So as you say, it's best to think these situations through in advance and to be prepared with a suitably diplomatic response to a compliment!

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