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Thread: Halloween - suspected of being a full-time cross dresser?

  1. #1
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    Halloween - suspected of being a full-time cross dresser?

    I've dressed up as a woman and went out to parties at Halloween lots of times. Many of these times in the company of people who don't know that I'm a cross dresser and that I have no intentions of coming out to. I think that many people have suspected that I dress up regularly as I've had lots of comments like 'you appear to have had lots of practise walking in heels', 'you seem to be an expert with makeup', 'do you keep your whole body shaved all the time', 'you look like you are very comfortable dressed up like that', etc, etc. Has anyone had any similar experiences at Halloween?

  2. #2
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    If you've done it "lots of times" then yes, it's a bit of a giveaway...

  3. #3
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    I have never gone out on Halloween in girl mode, but I have a couple of acquaintances that have. Even though their presentation was less than spot on, there were speculations - some made at the time, perhaps in jest, and other private speculations later on.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  4. #4
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    Hi Caitlyn -

    This is a question that we have all wrestled with at one point or another. It brings to mind a scene from the sci-fi movie "The Matrix". A young boy dressed as a monk is trying to teach the protagonist how to bend a spoon with his thought. After no success, the boy tells the guy, "Do not try and bend the spoon, that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no spoon." (In other words, it is all in our head). Now, back to reality. We can consume a lot of energy and emotion in worrying about what others will think when they see us all dressed up at a Halloween party or we can "realize the truth": What they think won't matter by the next morning because it was just a passing, inconsequential thought. No one ever is sitting at the kitchen table on the morning of November 1 saying, "honey, remember Mike from accounting? Yeah, he's a crossdresser."

    So just have fun and enjoy yourself.

  5. #5
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    One thing you might try is going out on Halloween in a woman's Halloween costume. There is a huge variety to choose from.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    ....as long as you are cleanly shaved with perfect hair and makeup

  7. #7
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    I don't necessarily think everyone treats it as an "inconsequential thought." For some it almost becomes their mission in life to somehow uncover the truth. In the office I worked there were some women who endlessly discussed whether so-and-so was gay. There was one guy who looked like the Marlboro Man. It irritated the crap out of two women who constantly speculated. The rest of us thought, "Who cares?" Then he showed up at the office Christmas party with his boy friend. With confirmation he was gay the women finally shut up. It was the same with another guy.

    I have found whenever a guy knows too much about things in a "woman's domain" speculation arises. In general men are suppose to know all about car engines and sports; not women's "stuff." You could jest back that you had to do a lot of Youtube watching and do a lot of practicing rather than some ruse that you had help from a mythical cousin or girl friend.

    Char's idea is a good one, especially if you go as an ugly witch. But, I'd suspect the same people would question "Why a woman's costume? Again!!!" Just have fun. Maybe, you'll attract an interested female.
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 10-07-2021 at 10:41 AM. Reason: grammer

  8. #8
    New Member BlueTempest's Avatar
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    I have had eyebrows raised at me when I comment on GG's clothing or take part in conversation. Yes, I know what a peplum hem is, that red soled heels are often high end and I'm now learning what good makeup looks like.
    My go to response in the past has been "well, boys often stare at girls, didn't you pick up some of the lingo too?". Now, I just shrug, ladies fashion is a hobby/interest of mine, so what.

  9. #9
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    Stephanie, unless office gossip poses a threat to your livelihood, it is entirely inconsequential. People have been talking behind each other's backs since the Stone Age. It's what we do best!

  10. #10
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I think that you get one free pass, as long as your presentation isn't too good.

    Dress as a woman a second time and you're automatically clocked.

    Think about Matt Lauer "crossdressed" three times on national TV.

    Think about Joe Namath in Hanes pantihose. Is he or isn't he? And it was just once.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  11. #11
    Senior Member kimmy p's Avatar
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    Probably. Don't care.

  12. #12
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    I did dress as an old woman for Halloween one year.
    I will say there was questions about how good I could walk in high heels.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  13. #13
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I've had countless years experience with this! Here's my rule of thumb at Halloween:

    If I'm going to a Halloween party with friends who know me but don't know about Sherry and I don't want them to? I don't wear woman's costume!

    If I'm going to a party of strangers who don't know who I am or that I CD and could care less? I dress in the sexiest woman's costume I can find!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
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    If you can be sure that you're among strangers, you can dress as a woman and although people will figure out that you are actually a crossdresser, it won't matter. Places like a bar that you don't normally go to or a public or commercial event like a festival or concert.

    If you're among family, friends or co-workers, they will figure out pretty quickly that you don't just dress as a woman once each year. Non-crossdressers wouldn't own a nice wig, an expensive pair of breast forms, hip and butt padding and women's shoes that fir.
    Krisi

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    I would love to dress for Halloween. I’d be a dead give-away — unless you went as something outlandish like a man in drag hooters girl. I’d be a Dead give-away.. You walk good in those heels, you shaved your legs and chest? You do very good make-up, that’s a nice realistic wig, French manicure nails? Are you wearing panties and a bra? You seem very comfortable dressed like that. Where did you get those size 12 boots? Leggings and a cowl necked sweater?

  16. #16
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    Monica, you have to define "inconsequential." Whether one's job in threatened or not, to be the constant target of gossip and speculation about anything has a psychological toll on any person. I don't know how thick a person's skin has to be before it becomes an issue. Work place violence in the making? Hostile work environment?
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 10-07-2021 at 10:50 AM.

  17. #17
    ~ Bondage & Pantyhose ~ cosmolovesph's Avatar
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    Honestly, if you are willing to dress to go out - expect some to feel/judge and that is ON THEM... you do you... Now if you are afraid of the outcome (work, family, neighbors) than rethink it and maybe go out of town and dress!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Crissandra
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    Don't forget to compliment those wearing pantyhose, as to how nice their legs look!

  18. #18
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    I?ve dressed for Halloween, usually as a witch, bag lady, etc. However, An organization I belong to had a fund raiser dinner/vaudeville event. I was asked to be one of the chorus ?girls?. With help from my wife, not bragging, but I looked pretty good..hip pads, waist cincher, fishnets over pantyhose, etc. After the show, one of my friends did comment that I looked like I was enjoying my self ?way too much?..which I did. Little did he know? He was right.

  19. #19
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    I met a great friend on Halloween. She said she knew right away this wasn't a one time thing for me and that I was cool and she wanted to get to know me. Where we met was 30 min from home. As it turns out we are close neighbors. Still friends many years later.

  20. #20
    Member AllieBellema's Avatar
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    I've dressed up for a local party for years and always in an elaborate princess or southern belle dress. This year is going to be the same thing. My friends know that I'm cross dressing and they expect it of me every year. So does the hosts of the party and those that go every year that see me. I do show that I'm enjoying myself being dressed up like that and they expect that of me!

  21. #21
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    I don't think is a good idea to go as a female character EVERY year----skip two or three years in between and dress as something else. Then it will not be "suspicious".

  22. #22
    Member susan jackson's Avatar
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    But do you deny it or confirm it?
    People try to put us down
    Just because we get around

  23. #23
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarinaTwelve200 View Post
    I don't think is a good idea to go as a female character EVERY year----skip two or three years in between and dress as something else. Then it will not be "suspicious".
    My experience was that it took only one time, at a party that included friends and coworkers, to cause them all to be suspicious. Co-workers who weren't even there, but heard about it, were suspicious. This got back to me in various indirect ways, but I was never directly confronted.

  24. #24
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    I told the people at the party that I deliberately wanted to do something DRASTIC to inspire more people dressing up---as the previous years especially the year before costuming was dropping off.----The next year I did a dead on
    MARK TWAIN and turnout was so great I actually lost first prize to a 80 year old "Pregnant Nun". SO I was successful. Perhaps you need a VALID reason to dress to allay suspicion. (even IF you are careful about spacing female costumes)
    Last edited by MarinaTwelve200; 10-09-2021 at 03:40 PM.

  25. #25
    Member Alexis00's Avatar
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    Listening to a TG podcast and they made a good point. If you dress up as a ?girl? tongues will wag. If you dress up as a specific girl - superhero, TV or movie actress, etc. - that?s a more believable costume. But on Halloween in Boston French Maids are everywhere!

    A friend of mine asks what size your bra is, and if you know, she assumes it is a thing.
    Last edited by Alexis00; 10-18-2021 at 08:57 AM.

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