My mind is frying
I have been a cross dresser my whole life. My wife knows, and tolerates this.
But it is more than that for me. I cannot stop thinking about my gender, and how I wish I'd been born female.
I am not a female in a male body. I'm a male. I just wish I wasn't.
I think about transitioning all the time. I wish my body was different. I crave curves, breasts, non-hairy.
I have never told my wife this. I told my therapist, though this never felt satisfying. She told me that, in her opinion, whether I chose to change or not, I would always miss the other part of me.
I don't know how to live with this. I can't give up my existing life, which is what I would have to do. But I know, deep down, if there were no consequences, I would live my life as Simone.
How do I live with this? Is this normal for cross dressers? I feel like I'm caught somewhere horribly in between
