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Thread: Wife sees photos of Natalie on my PC

  1. #1
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Wife sees photos of Natalie on my PC

    Ok, Last night we were working on my birthday invitation card (I am having a James Bond themed birthday party). I downloaded the 007 logo to use on the front of the invitations. My wife was looking over my shoulder.

    I went to get the file in the download folder... up comes the folder will all my Natalie photos. She sees them all.... I apologize because I know she does not want to see them.

    I get a reaction from her.. Not a positive one. But no flipping out either. As the night went on she had questions. The usual questions.. gay, do you think you look good? If you lose weight that dress would look better on you. And so on.

    But I can deflate her concerns. And she calms down. Later she started to kid me that I looked like a church lady. I asked her if she had a favorite photo so I can get it printed up, framed and hung on the wall.

    That was a big laugh. I know this will come up again. She laid down the law...No More buying women's clothes, "you have enough".

    That is not fair, I do not have a ball gown yet and Halloween is right around the corner.

    I did tell her that makeup is very fickle for me. One day I can do a decent job and the next day I look like Betty Davis in her older years. Yikes.

    Natalie

  2. #2
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    At least you had a conversation with your wife without the potential peril of getting smacked in the head with a skillette. I am in a deep DADT. I would love to have any conversation with my wife, even if it was some mundane issue like spending too much money on clothes. You have to agree that is a lot better than hearing a lot of screaming and yelling and labeled some sort of perv.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Natalie

    Well it could be worse. I think my wife would say something worse than calling me a church lady, haha. Also, I recall years ago in a crossdressing chat room, someone told me his wife threw a phone at his head, and that is when phones were heavy.

    Al least she is not throwing your stuff away which is what mine would do so I would not push things too hard on her. She is at least not completely rejecting you, so it would be good to thank her for not flipping out.

    Sandi

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie5004 View Post

    I went to get the file in the download folder... up comes the folder will all my Natalie photos. She sees them all.... I apologize because I know she does not want to see them.
    Since coming out to my wife a few weeks ago, her only request is that she not "see" my persona, and she has not - yet. I answer all questions, CD has come up in conversation but is far from the dominant topic. I have gotten over my own paranoia about her seeing my online activities like talking to folks on our group, not a problem.
    But like you , I have a folder of pics - of me, as Kris - Most faceapped, helping me develop my makeup skills, and frankly, succumbing to my own vanity, I like them! I am not being sneaky, just following her request, right?
    So, for us, this looks like the next hurdle. I'll be watching this space, seeing how folks handle the situation.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Natalie, It sounds like overall you did very well. The fact that she said if you lost weight a dress would look better on you IMO is a positive statement.
    Many of us would definitely get worse comments
    Crissy

  6. #6
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    She is not crazy happy and she called a weirdo. I asked about her Masters Degree in Social Work if weirdo is the correct terminology they taught back then.

    Then I reminded her that the reason she married me is because I am the polar opposite of her ex husband 25 years ago. She said, you are and she likes that. I explained that I am will to try almost anything for the experience and the dressing thing is really just me seeking the female experience in life.

    Sure I am not transitioning, I like the man side of me too much. (You know the selfish parts). Plus my other "hobbies" are very manly. PS, I am not a lumberjack though. I explained that I have a softer side and I like to let it out once in a while.

    Natalie

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Linda K.'s Avatar
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    Natalie - I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay! Just kidding. I cannot fathom what you, or anyone else that has an SO, has to go through to keep a relationship together in the light of the desire to crossdress. I am currently single and do not have to share this with anyone unless I choose to. However, I could imagine the comment that you made, "She is not crazy happy and she called a weirdo. I asked about her Masters Degree in Social Work if weirdo is the correct terminology they taught back then" had probably gotten you the stink eye. I have read in so many other threads here about giving the SO their time and space to deal with our issues. We must do the same with the ones we love.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    You managed a possible catastrophy well indeed, you still have your femm side intact and that is a good thing
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  9. #9
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Natalie,

    Yep, that could have gone a whole lot worse.

    Pics are always a danger point. I make sure I move all mine onto a memory stick squirrelled away at the back of a drawer.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  10. #10
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    and whats the best way to lose the weight especially in the middle. lol im a little over weight and like to get back to my usual weight from when i was deep in the cd world. its a lot harder it seems now to lose it and keep it off especially when on meds that make you gain. ugh such a freaking pain. any ideas? thanks

  11. #11
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Accidents like that are almost inevitable, arent they? I am glad she was able to laugh about it a bit. And frankly, anyone past a certain age probably bears a passing resemblance to the church lady. Attachment 323977

    Isn’t that prescious

  12. #12
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    To lose weight my wife wants me to cycle every day. I do know that when I do about 50 to 75 miles a week it does go away.

    But I am not a kid anymore and I have lower back issues. I just seem to hurt myself when I do a 40 mile ride and I suffer for it.

    Push-aways are the best exercise, right Doc?

    kimdl93. Where can I get a golden chair?

  13. #13
    Member Alexis00's Avatar
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    Natalie, you really handled this well!

    Quote Originally Posted by Raiku1313 View Post
    and whats the best way to lose the weight especially in the middle. lol im a little over weight and like to get back to my usual weight from when i was deep in the cd world. its a lot harder it seems now to lose it and keep it off especially when on meds that make you gain. ugh such a freaking pain. any ideas? thanks
    Fasting! It’s easier than it sounds.
    Last edited by Alexis00; 10-22-2021 at 06:41 AM.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raiku1313 View Post
    and whats the best way to lose the weight especially in the middle. lol im a little over weight and like to get back to my usual weight from when i was deep in the cd world. its a lot harder it seems now to lose it and keep it off especially when on meds that make you gain. ugh such a freaking pain. any ideas? thanks
    Push aways.

    Where you push yourself away from the table.

    Seriously, eat less and some exercise wouldn't hurt. In simple terms if you don't eat you won't gain weight. There is a balance point in there where you eat less than the calories you burn. So if you are not losing weight, you are eating too much.

    I have lost over thirty pounds in the last three years but just not eating as much as I used too. My wife gets a kick out of it. She likes my thinner body, but laughs about my weight loss methods and time. I told her three years ago I needed to lose some weight and I have, nice and slow, taking it easy. My two big things were potatoes of all kinds, including potato chips and soda pop. I just about completely dropped them from my diet, and then ate less at meals and the weight slowly came off. I am trying for 5 more pounds and it might take me six months or more to get there, maybe a year, but I am in no hurry!

  15. #15
    Member Alexis00's Avatar
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    Pumped - great job!

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member SarahLynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie5004 View Post
    To lose weight my wife wants me to cycle every day.

    But I am not a kid anymore and I have lower back issues. I just seem to hurt myself when I do a 40 mile ride and I suffer for it.

    Push-aways are the best exercise, right Doc?
    The best offer I can give is to not cycle 40 miles in one day but over 5 or 6 days. Spread it out over time until you build up the strength in your muscles. Will make your legs look better too.
    Great leaders are not great because of their words or deeds but because of the greatness they inspire from others."
    (Legends of the StarDancer)

  17. #17
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    Cycling will help cardo but do nothing for weight loss.
    Have you checked:
    -- posture, balanced is even weight on saddle and handlebars
    -- do you vary position: sometimes in drops and other times on the bars?
    -- is there some curve to your back for spring action
    -- have you been professionally fit for your bike. If you do 40+ miles, that is necessary.
    -- does your saddle give you good support? You may need a new one and NOT a wide fat saddle.
    -- you mix ride goals: speed one time, length another, sprints another, etc..
    -- suggest 3 rides a week: one easy 10 miles, one about 25 for a nice warm up and a 40 just for the fun of it

    Finally don't forget anti-inflammatory meds.

  18. #18
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Great story, my wife often looks over my shoulder as well and sees Rachels photos, sometimes saying "I wondered what happened to my dress"

    I lost 26Kg by swimming (and.... using a bread plate to size my 3 meals a day and having fruit as a snack).
    I think my second swim was the one I passed out in the changing room afterwards - over worked. My biggest swim was 1200 meters, just glad I could reach the bottom of the pool at each end for rest stops. It solved my back problems and reflux in the first few weeks.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  19. #19
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    I get a reaction from her.. Not a positive one. But no flipping out either.
    You got off easy....
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  20. #20
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie5004 View Post
    But I am not a kid anymore and I have lower back issues. I just seem to hurt myself when I do a 40 mile ride and I suffer for it.
    Natalie, I do yoga 4x a week and it has really helped with the back issues and aids with weight loss.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  21. #21
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SirDonna View Post
    Cycling will help cardo but do nothing for weight loss.
    With respect, that's absolutely wrong.

    Average cycling burns around 400-600 calories an hour.

    I lost 60lbs by cycling in 2015/2016.

  22. #22
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SirDonna View Post
    Cycling will help cardo but do nothing for weight loss.
    Have you checked:
    -- posture, balanced is even weight on saddle and handlebars
    -- do you vary position: sometimes in drops and other times on the bars?
    -- is there some curve to your back for spring action
    -- have you been professionally fit for your bike. If you do 40+ miles, that is necessary.
    -- does your saddle give you good support? You may need a new one and NOT a wide fat saddle.
    -- you mix ride goals: speed one time, length another, sprints another, etc..
    -- suggest 3 rides a week: one easy 10 miles, one about 25 for a nice warm up and a 40 just for the fun of it

    Finally don't forget anti-inflammatory meds.
    Sounds like you are a cyclists. I have been on my bike for 50 years. The biggest trip I ever did was the California Classic from San Francisco to LA in 8 days.

    I joined WW. I have been successful in the past following the plan.

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