I've been 'out' to family and friends for a couple of years now. Does anyone else who is pre-op have the same feelings as me:
That is that while I have physical 'male parts' down under, in my head and imagination - spiritually speaking - it's actually a vagina? That probably makes no sense to anyone outside of the tg/cd community, it must sound just crazy, but for me these feelings are getting stronger as time goes by. My plan is to do hrt and leave any decisions about surgery until after being on that a while, to see how it goes. So the feelings don't push me faster towards surgery, in fact I kind of enjoy 'having the best of both worlds.'
As I say, it's not unpleasant or anything, quite the opposite, but what I question is the madness of it in the rational, common-sense 'cold light of day' way of thinking. Maybe it's just harmless 'wishful thinking' gone unchecked or allowed too much slack, or maybe it's all part of some progress on the transitioning path? Or am I just losing my mind? I don't know what to make of it, except I'm going with the flow.
