No sooner has my son left the nest and allowed me my full femme expression (no more hiding my wardrobe) or having to clean up after myself in terms of makeup left in full view, panties and bras on the floor, skirts and blouses hung with great care and...
My Mother, who is in her mid 80's, is coming to live with me for awhile, until we can find more suitable accommodations. I certainly welcome her presence although that will put my dressing, one again, in stealth mode. That has not been the case for the last 6 months or so of my life where I can spend the entirety of my at home life en femme. I have enjoyed every moment.
I don't begrudge her presence in any way. I love her dearly and it's the best for all at the moment.
My conundrum is that, as a young child, it was her panties, slips etc that first piqued my interest in cross dressing. It was 60's style lingerie and I really enjoyed trying in on for size. It didn't fit very well as you can imagine but it felt good and it felt right as most of us have experienced. It started my life long desire to cross dress and for that, I will always be thankful.
Like many, I was caught by Mom.
She didn't fly off the handle or attempt to belittle me in any way. I don't think she knew what to make of it really but the important thing is that her admonishment was gentle and measured. She tried to explain to me that little boys should not wear women's clothing and that was basically that. It was between her and I and she allowed me to maintain my dignity rather than expose me to my father or the rest of the family.
I've managed to lead a somewhat accomplished and respected life and I feel that I owe much of that to her. I almost feel like showing her my wardrobe and telling her that despite any worries that she may have had at the time, my love of all things feminine has never left me. I feel like telling her that I know no more now why I love to wear feminine things than I did then but that's just obviously the way that I'm wired. She is proud of me as her son and I just feel that I should show her some gratitude for the respect and compassion that she showed me many decades ago. It somehow feels more genuine of me if I told her. I'm pretty sure that I won't but it's certainly something that I am pondering...