Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Difficulties since pandemic

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    160

    Difficulties since pandemic

    I am in the fairly common situation where my wife knows about my dressing but I do it without her knowledge. Since the pandemic she has stopped going away so haven't been able to dress for over a year. I think there is an opportunity on the horizon so I am excited about that.
    I wondered if the feeling would go away, but of course it hasn't, as we all know.
    Once in a while I travel to a different town where a wonderful lady does my makeup and I dress to the nines, apparently fairly convincingly. I visit a therapist for a chat and then go to a CD evening and sometimes on to a club, but this has been out of bounds for some time now.
    I am having increasingly vivid fantasies about an evening on the town and each time I go out I try to push the boundaries a little. After many years in the closet, just dressing in front of somebody else was a huge step, then I shaved my legs, then I bought some perfume, then I went to a meeting, then I went to a therapist, then I went to a pub, then a club. I began by dressing in a very restrained fashion, but now I go for miniskirts, tights and heels as I feel I have nothing to lose.
    I'm not sure what the next step should be - any suggestions?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    16,217
    Has your wife asked to see Lucy since she knows all about your dressing ?
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    160
    Sadly, no.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Midlands UK
    Posts
    6,241
    Lucy,

    Stop, and take a deep breath. I don't want to stop you taking your dressing further but you need to be aware that if it gets out of hand you could be heading for a marital car crash. So plan your next steps carefully and stay in control of the situation. It's too easy to get lost in the pink fog.

    Have a plan, work out the details, decide what it is you want to achieve but set realistic targets.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  5. #5
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    22,797
    Why do u need to dress, "without her knowledge"? If she knows u dress simply work out a routine where u tell when and she can hide, leave, or get a glimpse of Lucy!

    Her choice!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #6
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Almost the Great White North
    Posts
    21,675
    I would suggest talking with the therapist about how you might separate the fantasy from the reality. That is not to say that you abandon your desire for feminine expression, far from it, but rather that you get some help in defining what you want as part of your real life, versus what seems exciting in a flight of fancy.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Location
    Central Fla.
    Posts
    750
    Lucy Long Legs,

    You feel you have "nothing to lose"? How about your wife? Your marriage? If you have them, kids? Friends? Job?

    Now if you truly don't care about your current life - including your wife, why not just level with her and say "join me, or I'm outta here" - maybe even leaving out the "join" part?
    If you DO care - you need to pump the brakes and slow down.

    You're riding a runaway train, and if you don't find a way to get a handle on things - a crash is coming.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    12,733
    If I am reading your post correctly all the good times are in the past due to Covid-19. I am in the same situation since my wife retired and Covid-19 wrecked everything. My wife use to travel out of state for a seven to ten day trip. She use to babysit our grandson over night at our daughter's apartment. At best she goes out once a week with a girl friend but there is no set pattern for her return. Thus, nothing other than sleeping en femme.

    I would find it difficult in our DADT to tell my wife "Hey, disappear or go on an overnight hotel stay." If I am reading your post wrong; correct me. I read it as your trip to another town led to all those interactions, but, your wife has no idea that you are out and about. It's one thing when a wife tells her husband it is alright to do all those activities; it's another thing it is done without her knowledge. I don't want to get into the discussion if that is lying by omission. However, would your wife be comfortable with you doing it. What would her reaction be if you were seen by a friend or neighbor? Or, if you ended up in a hospital for some reason?

    If you're going nuts with pent up demand to satisfy your needs perhaps it is time to discuss your feelings with your wife. I know my wife. She told me when we had "The Talk" it was alright with her if I found a support group. I know she would not approve if I went to a club to let my hair down. I also know my wife would tell me to go get a hotel room and stay in it, if I must, but she would not flee her home so I could roam around en femme.

    My question for you is; when you made those trips that included counseling and clubbing did your wife know what you were doing? Or,was she totally in the dark?

  9. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    160
    Thank you everyone. That's good advice.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State