Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Surprising kindness

  1. #1
    New Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2021
    Posts
    6

    Surprising kindness

    Have read much here, but barely ever posted. But I had to share this small thing.

    My wife and I have a very strong relationship, but up and down (of course) with the CD thing. It has been a topic in our relationship for the past few years, with some small acceptance, usually followed by a period of non-acceptance, and back and forth. She has not cared what I do on my own time, but sharing in this has been difficult. For me, I?m tired of hiding or being alone with it, without my best friend. Of course, I understand what a hard subject it is, and can be. I?m sure most wives never accept it, even a little.

    But a couple of months ago, we had a real breakthrough getaway weekend where magically, it all seemed light, easy to talk about, and even fun. She bought us matching panties out of the blue. She encouraged me to go shopping while she went to the spa. The next day we had a laughing, great time where I put on a fashion show for her in our hotel room, and I felt more free than I ever had. It was a monumentally good time.

    Since then, she has made a few positive comments about it, saying how cute I looked, but there haven?t been any ?dress up? times. On Friday, I told her that I really was feeling a need for another time to express that side of myself, before the holidays came with family, obligations, trips, etc. I was very open and honest, but she seemed to kind of take a deep breath, almost like a ?what have I done?? kind of expression.

    We had a very busy weekend with friends and a concert, and this afternoon she broached the subject she knew was on my mind. She said ?I know you want to have your time today, but I?m just exhausted and I don?t think I?m really into it.?

    I was 100% expecting the usual ?I?m fine if you want to take some time for yourself without me?, which I was okay with, but a little disappointed. BUT - instead, she said, ?I?m not sure I can be your cheerleader today, but what if we postpone it until tomorrow? I won?t be as tired, and I just think it would be more fun then.?

    Wow - how lucky am I? Still taking it day by day, but I sure do love my wife.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Maryland, USA
    Posts
    11,031
    I think overall you are doing pretty good, this can be such a up and down thing for our wives. The comments your wife made are very encouraging so hold your breath and hope things continue in a positive vein.
    Crissy

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Posts
    23,676
    Its probably best to let her take the lead, pick the time and so on. I totally get the energy part?we can be exhausting!

  4. #4
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Midlands UK
    Posts
    7,188
    What I take from this is your wife is discovering that sharing your dressing can be fun. She gets something from it to.

    Your wife is finding out that your dressing isn't ending the world. That you remain the same person. Baby steps is the way forward and slowly you dressed becomes part of the normal.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    1,912
    Hi Marcydelane,

    What you could have done is to take the lead and offer to help with some of her stuff after the concert when she was tired.
    It may be awkward at first but the more you get in the habit of doing stuff like that the more your relationship will grow.

    Marion

  6. #6
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    1,095
    What I love about this was that she communicated how she felt. She didn't just give in, or say "no", she said "I'm not up for it today, what about tomorrow?" that, I think, is a good sign.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  7. #7
    New Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2021
    Posts
    6
    Yes - that was what felt so good. She could have just left it at “not tonight”, but she suggested just postponing it a day since she knew it was something that is important to me.

    And to be clear, she wasn’t exhausted because of chores, etc - we had just stayed up too late with old lifelong friends, and maybe had a couple of extra glasses of champagne. Fun but tiring.

    I’m hopeful there is still some Marcy time tonight. We will see. The weekend we spent 2 months ago was so fantastic, I’m almost afraid to try it again because I can’t see how it could get any better. (If that makes sense.)

  8. #8
    New Member Patty_cd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2021
    Location
    France
    Posts
    28
    She probably deserved something back from you now ?
    Just to make it a win/win thing.

  9. #9
    New Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2021
    Posts
    6
    She deserves all I can give her, for sure. Lately, I have been helping out quite a bit with her aging mother, and overall I think we feel pretty even keeled in the marriage. We are beginning to travel again, and that has been fun for us both. AND - I am always on the lookout for nice gestures to let her know how appreciated she is!

  10. #10
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Nation's Capital
    Posts
    5,587
    I would call it surprising acceptance not surprising kindness. After all, she is your wife.

    You wouldn't call taking care of your kids "babysitting" would you? After all, they're your kids.

    BTW, I'm so jealous. My wife and are are in deep DADT.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 11-24-2021 at 05:13 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  11. #11
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    12,771
    Marcydelane, Your wife gave you an honest assessment of how she felt at that moment, but told you she would support you the next day. Honesty and support are a good thing in my humble opinion.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State