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Thread: How did you tell your friends

  1. #26
    New Member Valerie420's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2021
    Im open and honest about the way I dress. I take pictures frequently when Im all dressed up. My internet friends see pics so its normal and theyre fine with it.

  2. #27
    Senior Member dawnmarrie1961's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Omaha Nebraska
    When I first started dressing full time I ran a computer repair company in Texas. I didn't give much thought to how it would affect my customers.
    One day a lady whose laptop I had repaired figured she could get out of paying her bill by commenting on my appearance.
    "And what exactly does that have to do with your bill? "
    She went silent.
    She paid what she owed.
    You'd think that she would never come back after that. But she did.
    She must of realized my rates were the cheapest in the area.

    Sometimes people you thought are accepting will flip the script when they don't get what the want. Don't judge them. They are just frustrated with their situation. It has nothing to do with you.
    Sometimes you just have to be

  3. #28
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    New Zealand
    I have told friends via text message, phone calls & in person.

    From my experience in person tended to go the best as I got a response straight away and was easier to decipher how they took it - good or bad.
    Over the phone was ok, but was a little harder to tell exactly how they took it as you only have their voice to go by.
    Text was the hardest as I generally found I was sitting there waiting for a response, which on a couple of occasions took a good 20mins!
    I also found that face to face I got across what I was trying to say better, where as text messages are open to interpretation a little bit.

    All in all, I have only ever had 3 "bad" reactions (I have probably told 20+ people - not including their spouses or whoever they have told). One friend said he was abit taken back & unsure of what to make of it & even admitted this was surprising to him as he felt he was very open minded. Another didn't take it well in person, but did a complete U-turn about a week later once she had time to think it over I guess.

    I think it comes down to each to their own when it comes to who you tell. I understand that in certain circumstances it is best to keep it to yourself, but also something to consider would be if we were all more open about this side of ourselves with people, maybe it wouldn't be something we needed to keep hidden. There would be a bit more understanding about it if more people were exposed to this in the wider community would it not? Just my two cents & thinking out loud - not trying to start anything with that comment!
    I would encourage anyone thinking of coming out to people to give it some decent thought first before doing anything. I myself am considering putting this side of me out their for the world to know, but am taking my time with this & giving it some serious consideration - many pros & many cons to every decision!

    OP - Whatever you decide I hope it goes well for you. Trust your gut & be confident whatever the outcome


  4. #29
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    I like your "Does this person need to know?" and for me that's no one except my wife. She's supportive and doesn't get uptight if I'm dressed in a dress with high heels, pantyhose, bra and panties. She even bought me a long silky smooth nightgown from Macy's for Christmas. She has a little uneasiness with the wig and make-up because it reminds her of my sister. Anyway, I do feel compelled to tell people I enjoy crossdressing so I'll just tell everyone here, "I love to wear women's clothes and shoes!" Sometimes I just enjoy gazing the clothes in the Chico or Talbot's catalog. I always thought growing up I was a one off. I never realized so many other also enjoy crossdressing. It's great sharing this unique characteristic with everyone here. I don't have to hide here.

  5. #30
    Member Wendy-Lyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    I basically haven't, except for a very few. None of them 'caught' me, I simply told them.

    I have one male friend who knows, and has known for years. He is gay (and helped me to discover that I was not), and is fine about it. We do not have a relationship but are close friends.

    Another friend, a GG, has also known for decades. She will sometimes ask me to dress if she comes over to visit, and will often ask me about the panties I'm wearing (she has often willingly supplied said panties herself). We do have occasional sexual relations. There was another GG friend who knew and participated sometimes, but she sadly passed some years ago.

    And I came out to my sister-in-law just yesterday, as I related in my recent thread on the subject.

  6. #31
    Member KymG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Basingstoke, Uk
    I had a deep conversation with a friend and ended up telling her. She then told another who told another, etc. I believe its five now, but who knows.
    Its never discused, i think its seen as a dirty secret or something.
    Suffice to say that if i could turn back the clock they would not know.

  7. #32
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    I had one coworker that told me I ought to update my FB profile pic, but I see no reason to do that.

    I get treated better dressing female, as I look pretty good with a 25 inch waist and hourglass figure.
    Females are judged differently than men.

    There hasn't been any difference in how my neighbors treat since I've started going outside in skirts.

    I'm sure the postal folks know exactly whose been wearing all those clothes from Victoria's Secret.
    Yesterday I got my new silk PJs delivered in the snow. I got an email that it had been delayed but it showed in my mailbox an hour later!

    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 01-08-2022 at 09:53 AM.

  8. #33
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    My policy (and my advice to others) is to not tell anyone that I dress like a woman unless they need to know. Obviously, since I live with my wife, she needs to know. Nobody else needs to know so I haven't told anybody else, friend or otherwise.

    What's important to rmember is, once you tell someone, you have no control over who that person tells. Your secret little "hobby" could soon be all over town. If that doesn't matter to you (or your wife), fine, tell your friends. If it does matter, tell no one.

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    I have not, and since I am not going to transition, I will not. If my wife chooses to tell a friend of hers for support, that is up to her, but so far she has not. Nancy

  10. #35
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Nation's Capital
    I know that this is probably going to sound sad, but boy me doesn't really have any friends, or at least anyone who is a close enough friend who would let me crash on their couch if I needed to. Except for my immediate family, all of my family lives at least 1000 miles away. My wife has friends, but since she doesn't acknowledge me, their is no need to tell her friends. I have no need or desire to tell my professional colleagues.

    I have a lot of CD friends, and I know a lot of medical professionals, sales associates, makeup artists and nail techs, etc., most of whom have seen both sides of me.

    I do have a 50th high school reunion coming up and I've flirted with the idea of going en femme, but that would result in being outed to all my relatives back home. I haven't decided if I want to do that. But, since I haven't seen most of them in years, who cares. I might not be invited to someone's wedding? That's already happened just because of an event that I decided not to attend prior to the wedding.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  11. #36
    Member Billie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Well I know my wife's friends know as I met my wife and a couple of her friends Thursday night for dinner straight from work. And as luck would have it, the restaurant had a photographer for groups eating there. That photo was purchased by the friend that's visiting and of course posted in Facebook tagging me and my wife, well everyone in the photo. I know my sister-in-law knew, but she saw the photo, and likely means anyone that gets the notice that I was tagged or my wife was tagged.

    Hmm I thought it would be someone I knew walking into the store that would be my outing and a little more controled. Say Le Ve

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Last night we had a couple of friends over, one couple was with us Thursday night. When they first arrived, the wife pulled my wife aside and asked about what pronouns to use for me, as she and her husband and the other couple Thursday didn't know and wanted to be respectful. So far that's god

  12. #37
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2021
    As for me, I haven't confessed to anyone. However, I was spending a month with a long time buddy of mine a while back and my buddies sister noticed I had a light pink nail polish on my toes which I had completely forgotten about. I had my wife wanted to see what it looked like before she put any on her. I asked her not to mention it to my friend/her brother which I'm sure she did. Also while there her girlfriend took me shopping for a couple of presents for my wife. One place was Life is Good store which I bought a pair of very soft & silky shorts pink with penguin print. One night I tried them on and had to use the restroom, I poked my head out and thought everyone was asleep. Went to the restroom and when I came out my buddy was standing in the doorway. His reply, 'OMG"! Nothing was said for a couple days until he said something about it in front of everyone. He jokingly mentioned seeing me in the pink and elephant print panties. I corrected him saying they were pingoun print shorts and we all laughed and conversation moved along. And just a couple months later he asked how my hair was coming along, so I took a picture, unfortunately I was wearing a cami with spaghetti straps which a thought I had cropped it out but the straps were barely showing but he noticed and replied "nice top". Sometime during my stay he had taken a picture of me and ran it thru Facebook which he gave me very long hair and sent it back to me. LOL, he told me a still had a ways to go. �� Next story was with my wife, having had a few drinks she went over to our neighbors house and she completely outted me. The neighbor is a 70 year old open minded lady, apparently her response was maybe he's bisexual! I guess with this 2 friends I'm the one playing the DADT.
    Last edited by DeeDee67; 01-09-2022 at 03:17 PM. Reason: Missing words

  13. #38
    Secret Asian Man azncd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Quote Originally Posted by MonicaPVD View Post
    Some of you may recall an incident I posted about a while ago, where a friend found out about me. That friend has since told three other friends that I know of, and I have had to deal with that situation over the past several months. One of those did not take it well and has basically ghosted me. He is very much an alpha old-fashioned macho kind of guy. Another is accepting but told me that he would prefer not to see me as Monica because he's not sure how he would feel about it. The third friend kind of just shrugged and went back to talking about his cars and the work he's doing on his home. This development is what has led to me being a lot more open about Monica as I clumsily attempt to force her/me into my daily existence.
    I had basically the exact same experience. It suuuuucked. But at the end of the day, it was almost freeing in a way, and like you, I found out quickly who liked me for me and who was more superficial about people.

  14. #39
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    I'm going to be telling some mutual friends of myself & my boyfriend's really soon (2 females) and I'm actually looking forward to it, I've had serious urges and an itch to tell more people for a while now. Obviously I don't know exactly how it will go but the friends are very nice and open minded people (finding out my bf & I were both bisexual wasn't a big deal to them at all) so I'm definitely confident about it. I'm also hoping that if they're also into lingerie like me that it could lead to a lingerie slumber party or something lol, but for now the goal is simply to tell them and be satisfied with doing that.

  15. #40
    Member Christina89's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    When I told a couple of friends about my crossdressing, I explained about how it happened and why I do it. I then send them a few photos I have while dressed.

  16. #41
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Southeast PA
    I have told a few friends over the past year, including one girlfriend from LONG ago. With male and female friends, straight and gay, I have found nothing but support and continued friendship. I even had a few outings on hikes, museum trips, and a movie/resturant with some while wearing a skirt.

  17. #42
    Join Date
    May 2010
    All of my friends and family know. And yes I have had friends disappear, but I feel it's their problem not mine.

  18. #43
    Aspiring Member Heather76's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Coastal SC
    Only my wife knows and I plan to keep it that way with one exception. Should she pass before me, I would then tell my son and my daughter as I don't want them to go into shock should they find me unresponsive one day while dressed. I won't seek their approval or support. If they would give it, super. But, it certainly isn't necessary. I would still be their father and they would still be my children and I can't see anything damaging our relationships.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  19. #44
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    If it doesn't affect your livelihood or your relationship with your immediate family, why should you care who knows?
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  20. #45
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    My friends knew as I grew up.

    There was never any real closeted time.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

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