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Thread: Not-so-pleasant Outing

  1. #26
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
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    Orange County, Calif.
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    24,842
    Nice reaffirming post, Joey! I go out dressed often to bars and clubs. Some LGBT friendly, some not! And, I have had great times!

    But, I'm NOT brave enuff to go to Dennys or the mall dressed because all the uncomfortable situations I run into on your list!

    And, when I'm out shopping, it's to relaxingly buy things. Not be stressed the entire time worrying about wasting my time and energy on other peoples concerns or distaste for trans!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  2. #27
    Reality Check
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
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    8,842
    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    You haven't gone back in time; all these things and behaviors are still going on today. I'm deep in the closet, so I get to be a 'fly on the wall', and overhear the true discussions about LGBTQ folks that get treated where I've worked. And I've worked in emergency rooms now for over 40 years, and what the staff members say about us isn't usually pretty. Oh, you aren't likely to hear it, because it's frowned upon, but those attitudes still definitely exist in a huge percentage of the population; they just don't always express it.
    Since hate is now considered acceptable thanks to one of our political monsters, it is more dangerous for us out in public.
    Be careful out there. It only takes one self entitled loony to decide it's his responsibility to wipe us off the face of the earth because he thinks we 'might be a danger to the children' or some other nonsense.


    People have grown to expect certain behavior from others over thousands of years. It's part of our culture (there are many different cultures around the world with different values and expectations). In the "Western" culture, men are expected to dress in men's clothing and women are expected to dress in women's clothing (although women sometimes wear men's clothing when employed in certain fields such as factory work, landscaping, etc.).

    When another person calls you out because you are dressing or acting differently than he or she expects, this is not "hate", it's a lack of understanding. It's because they don't understand why a man would buy and wear women's clothes. I'm not sure most of us understand this ourselves but we do it and most of us accept it.

    We have to be grown up enough to realize that we are not going to change the world, at least by ourselves. Maybe the public will understand and accept our behavior eventually, but it will take a long time for this to happen. Calling people "haters" when they have different expectations than we do is not going to change a thing. In fact, it prevents us from considering their point of view.

    Try to understand others and hope they will eventually understand us.
    Last edited by Krisi; 12-04-2021 at 09:11 AM.
    Krisi

  3. #28
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Arlington Heights, Illinois
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    1,179
    Here is America, especially on the east coast, our society is getting very divided in what we see is a cause of bad economic and inflationary times.
    These perceptions should be very concerning for all of us who get out and about in today's public scene.
    I have noticed people who perceive me as TG believe I myself have contributed to our economic hard times by my liberal beliefs in crossdressing.
    That is hardly the case but it is a "plausible stereotype" being cast upon those of us who are TG/CD.
    Please consider going out with a friend or go to known LGBTQ friendly places or event, for the foreseeable future, as society continues to polarize against anything perceived as causing hardships in our society.
    Last edited by candykowal; 12-03-2021 at 10:55 AM.
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  4. #29
    Aspiring Member EllieOPKS's Avatar
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    Nov 2009
    Location
    Kansas City
    Posts
    710
    Hi everyone
    This is an interesting topic that's also frustrating. For the life of me i don't understand why people think they have a right to be rude. I will share with you a true story from about 40yrs ago.
    I was in a bar in Champaign Ill having a beer with a friend. A drunk guy yelled at a guy that looked very feminine and called the guy a faggot, everybody heard him. He told the guy to get his gay ass out of the bar. I was stunned to say the least.
    Within seconds this big guy sitting next to me gets up, walks over to the drunk loud mouth and says (paraphrased for PG, MA) "The only thing i like better than gay sex is fighting" and instantly knocks this guy off his bar stool. He then tells the bartender the drunk is thru drinking but he is going to sit here until that young man finishes drinking so he can pick up the tab.

    I tell that story because the rude idiots never consider that MIAD might be a black belt

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