Sorry for the length
My wife and I will be married 36 years in January. When we were dating I discussed my crossdressing with her. One time in a hotel she dressed me in her work clothes she was going to wear the next morning. We did not talk about it much after that. Then while living in our first townhouse I bought a pair of pumps from the Kmart. She knew about them the day I brought them home, she asked "Did you try them on in the store." I said yes. She never encouraged me to dress and again it was one of those things we did not talk about. She had a very cute nightgown that I bought her. She would occasionally rub it against my skin. I loved that, but again much under the radar I would dress and would be totally alone. I dressed on and off after that. Have gotten caught in the pink fog many many times. Have purged just as many and started back again. I had taken a trip for work about maybe 5 or more years ago. During that time I went out dressed for my first time. When I got back home I told her about that. She was upset that I went out and told me I could not do that. Then as typical nothing was mentiioned any further. Fast forward to present. She has developed some overly conservative view points. She also has a friend that is uber conservative. She often will be watching a TV show and see someone and ask it that a Boy or Girl. This has started my fear, because last October I picked back up again. I had a wonderful weekend away last week. I stayed in a hotel and dressed daily. I even ventured out again. I also have been feeling guilty over this since then. I will start to think about how wonderful that weekend was and then become striken with guilt and become tearful. I am afraid to bring things back up to her again. Afraid that this time she will be mean to me, or tell me she will not allow this. I want to tell her because again I just don't want to hide this from her, and I am so tired of being so in the dark all of the time. I am not asking for acceptance, just again for her to be aware so I dont feel like I am sneaking around.