Quote Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater View Post
Isn't it a bit like asking to explain why your favourite colour is your favourite. Some things we're drawn to and we're never sure why. I know I've been drawn to wearing femme things all my life and now having progressed in my dressing over many years if I have to give a answer to what do I get out of it that'd have to be it allows me to express myself as the type of person I am.
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Helen's answer seems to resonate best for me. I started very young, and not under the best of conditions. As I was reading all of the posts one thing that struck me is that we are all at different stages in our dressing and our needs to do so. Developmentally in my crossdressing is not at all near my chronological age. I went through my highly sexualized reasons for dressing. The lure of sexy and lacy lingerie that created to me the illusion then of what I thought was femininity. Then moving into times of wearing short dresses and high heels again brought out the lure of sexy and of maybe being desired. That then gravitated to my current stage of what is comfortable for me and what I really see many GG's wearing. I feel the only way you can even have a clue as to how to dress like a women is to pay attention to the GG's that are doing it everyday. I like cute blouses and skinny jeans (although I am not that skinny), skirts and dresses that are appropriate for a women of my age. I have moved from the Stiletto heel to enjoy flats and 2 to 3 inch heels. However, I still enjoy wearing sexy bra's and panty sets under all of those things including my male clothing. I do not get to dress fully very often. So underdressing has now allowed me to explore more of my desire to dress. I do enjoy what it looks like when I scoop the breasts that I already have lifting and pressing inwards to create a cleavage and even the bounce that I feel as I walk down the hall at work. I have always been the binge and purge crossdresser. Alluding to my own pathologizing of why I enjoy dressing as I do, and why no matter how hard I have attempted to be rid of this, it always finds itself back into my life. I believe this is what has prevented me from maturing as a crossdresser. Without generalizing a women moves through natural stages in her dress and as she matures her style changes. This is accepted by our society and they can be just as comfortable and as accepted in frumpy jeans and a sweatshirt as a dress and heels. Our plight is far different. We struggle for acceptance not only from society but also in many times the very persons that we trust and love the most. Which brings me to my reason for being a part of this forum. Here I feel a natural acceptance that I am unable to get anywhere else. Which is mostly what I am seeking to get from my experience now in my life.