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Thread: Purging

  1. #1
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Purging

    I have noticed a good amount of new members here recently and thought I would bring up Purging.
    Just do not do it! Through the years so many of us have purged so many beautiful things, many of which cannot ever be replaced.
    We all have/had our own reasons but guilt and shame come to mind for me. I really thought I could dump my collection and maybe that would end my interest in crossdressing, well that did not work. All that I accomplished was to feel sorry about it at some point.
    Please just do not do it!
    Crissy

  2. #2
    Member Mermaiden's Avatar
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    I agree, Crissy, the drive to CD never really goes away. It may wax and wane, but always comes back. Better off accepting that rather than fighting it. But there is room for donating the clothes that don?t fit or look right; things that stay on the hanger and don?t get worn.

  3. #3
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I completely agree. Over the 60 years that I have been doing this off and on, purging has never worked. I suppose for a few it does work, but in my view this behavior is most likely a large part of your identity and is rarely just a hobby. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," might well apply here. Of course getting rid of some of the volume we sometimes accumulate is not purging - everybody does that once in awhile. Our female things are a representation of something we experience much more deeply. Purging is like trying to throw away an important part of your personality and that will leave a hole that is not easily filled with something else.

  4. #4
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    Good advice

  5. #5
    Member ziggie's Avatar
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    I am in total agreement! It is one thing to cull the items that are worn, outdated, and no longer fit, but you will regret a true purge.
    So many new things to learn

  6. #6
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Crissy, Could not agree more. You will always regret it.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  7. #7
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    An excellent PSA announcement. Maybe a banner all new members should receive.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    I agree Chrissy the urge never goes away . I have purged many times and it always comes back . I think you have to take into account circumstances. As my wife is not accepting, my last purge was the worst.My mother was accepting but she passed away in Sept 2020: We cleared her house last year. I had to dump the entire contents of the feminine wardrobe I kept there. It was heartbreaking. Back into the closet for me and underdressing or my marriage would be over. 2 grown up daughters still at home.Wife working from home means opportunities virtually zero . But hey ho.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    I purged twice. Huge mistake. This resulted from guilt feelings regarding my crossdressing. When I finally accepted that I was transgender the guilt lifted and I have not had the inclination nor desire to purge again. Coming to grips with who you are does wonders.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Kelli_cd's Avatar
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    Crissy, you're so right. I've done the same in the past. So many beautiful pieces that can't be replaced. And eventually the desire to dress always comes back. So now I've accepted who I am, and have not felt that need to purge.

  11. #11
    Time to step out! Erin77's Avatar
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    Oh the dreaded purge. Bane of a crossdressers existence! Purged too many times growing up... Wish I never had. So many things I wish I had back!! I like the PSA banner idea too! Do some soul searching before you decide to purge and as others have stated realize the urge does not go away.

  12. #12
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Crissy, you are totally correct. Period. I, occasionally go through my things with the thought of purging, but I always find tops, skirts, dresses, I forgot about. Fun.

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Purge,
    I do it regularly to thin my wardrobe out.

    Who needs a hundred bras and fifty skirts to dress in?

    The secret is stash it somewhere for 6 months and then look at it again.

    If you grow out of it just think, you may grow into it again.

    I was a fourteen but I am now a size sixteen in a teen size.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  14. #14
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the responses so far

    I think thinning of the herd to get rid of items that are worn out or out of whatever style you like is not purging. That is just making room for some nice new things
    Crissy

  15. #15
    Member DanielleCD's Avatar
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    I have purged numerous times in my life. Never again... it's like denying who you are and nothing good will come of it.

  16. #16
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    I totally agree. My intense self loathing, self hatred period was when I was a teenager. During that time I wore my mother's undergarments. I had not yet started to acquire my own clothing. In the beginning of my journey I did not know anything about women's sizing. There were some dresses which did not fit properly at all. Those got donated. I should start weeding out past purchases that no longer fit me, but, I seem to have an affection for many of the garments. I still wear a pink peignoir my wife and I purchased for me in 1972.

    Many times purging seems to be the outcome of a discussion with a wife. That's the time for a sit down and serious discussion of your inner self rather than some attempt to deny your inner self. You end up making promises you cannot keep, and, if you are able to deny yourself, what is the cost? Purging is not the answer.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Don't I know it. I did it once and let go of some amazing vintage slips that I can't find anymore. Regret,regret,regret.

  18. #18
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    My last purge was over 20 years ago. Stopping the purges was one of the best moves I ever made. Purging only costs money out of pocket, such a waste.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  19. #19
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    I agree with Crissy. Don't do it!! And making room for new things is not really purging. If you ever feel the need to purge, just pack the stuff away and store it somewhere. It won't be long and you will be unpacking it all. I have been there sooo many times.

  20. #20
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Always a pack rat. Never purged. I'm not sure I even though about it.

    I got caught red handed by my wife once as I was packing for a business trip with "a few extras". I expected to be gone a month and I expected that she would go on a search and destroy and purge for me. Before I went out of town, I collected most of my clothes and rented a storage locker. I left some incriminating evidence around so that if she did go on a search and destroy mission, she would find some things and think she got it all. I don't think she went on a search but certainly didn't go on a destroy.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  21. #21
    Member Wendy-Lyn's Avatar
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    Purging - I've done it in the past.
    But never again. I've lost a lot of lovely things, some of which I've never been able to replace.
    Now, I only get rid of stuff which is worn-out or no longer fits me.

  22. #22
    Member Marissa Q's Avatar
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    I think the advantage of starting my CD journey later in life is that the personal acceptance and adjustment is stronger, and that's a very helpful thing as it relates to purging; at least for me at this stage of my life, I can't see myself ever purging. Of course, like most older CD's who never (or very rarely) dressed in the past, I wish I would have explored it when I was younger. But I also know that younger-me would have been much too conflicted, frightened and bound up in the conventional social order to feel free enough to express myself; as a result, I know I would have had many painful, guilt-ridden purges. And I would have been the worse for it.

    Simple advice: don't purge. You'll only feel worse.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Now repeat after me: "I solemnly promise to never get rid of clothing or items unless they don't fit, are damaged, or look bad on me. I will store carefully rather than purge." I really miss a couple dresses, a pair of shoes, and a bra I used to have. Just pack and stow away rather than purge.

  24. #24
    Senior Member
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    Good advice. Loosing things due to age and sizing changes is bad enough. Then add the just need more room in the closet. Thays more then enough to loose. To just get rid of them thinking I will never dress again. I can't imagine that one personally.

  25. #25
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I’ve purged and totally given up crossdressing many times. At the moment, I’m wearing amid-calf black and white dress, long blonde wig, red lipstick and sparkly nail polish. Oh, and breastforms. I guess it didn’t work. They’re your clothes. Don’t throw them away.
    What do I do on days when I don't crossdress? I have no idea.

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