Last night my wife and I went out for dinner at fairly nice, popular restaurant with friends. This was in the same city I went to college. At one point it was a full house. We had drinks, we ate, we laughed, it was an enjoyable evening. I had a strong cocktail and a glass of wine, so my wife drove home. As we drove, I became swept up in emotion. It’s surreal to me that 25-30 years ago when I was in college, swimming in dysphoria and trying to figure out what it meant and who i was, I read the story of a transwoman living full time in SF, and I was envious of her, but also resigned I would never be able to do the same and have a good career and a family.
And yet, here I was. All those years later, living my life as a woman. I made the reservation in my soon to be legal name. I took voice lessons and speak in a passable voice for a woman. I had ffs 6 months ago. I got zero looks from anyone the entire night (that I’m aware of). When it’s necessary, I tell people I’m trans and my heart doesn’t skip a beat and I don’t get that tight feeling in my stomach any longer. Everyone in my life knows and I don’t have to hide any longer. Most of the anxiety is gone. I just live. Sometimes I’m incredulous this is actually my life.
And so to all those incredibly courageous trans people that came before, some famous and some not, and paved the way for me to live my life, thank you. Regardless of their politics and social positions and whatever else, thank you. Thank you to Kristin Beck, Caitlyn, Jenny Boylan, Laverne Cox(extra thanks for Disclosure Laverne), ContraPoints, Danica Rohm, Sarah McBride, the Wachowski sisters, Rachel Levine and all the rest.
Thank you to the medical community that chooses to specialize in trans healthcare, so those of us that need or choose medical intervention can do so. Thank you to the trans allies, and to the average person who chooses to treat us no differently than anyone else.
Me? I plan to live openly and courageously to continue to help educate the world on a 1:1 basis we are just regular people that happen to be trans.
Happy Holidays!