I was 15 in the summer of 1980. I had started training and cycle racing with a group of four other guys. In December one of the guys suggested that we all get our ear pierced. I knew this was not going to go over well for me. I tried to hold out, but about two weeks before Christmas we all went and got it done. My hair was already shoulder length and I was shaving my legs regularly. Both of these things were already a source of great contention for my father. Needless to say coming home that evening and sitting down for supper was a terrible thing. I always sat to his left, but that evening did my best to change seats, but that did not happen. He took one look at my ear and lost his mind. He reacted so poorly, screamed and cussed at me, and then made a statement of "if you are going to act like a girl, then you should be dressed like one." I thought that was one of the nicest things he had ever said to me, but in that context it really was one of the most hurtful. That was the last words he muttered in my direction until Christmas Eve. Our family tradition was to always celebrate on Christmas Eve. All of the family would come over we would have a meal and then later in the evening we would open gifts. That year he passed out all the gifts. As my sisters, brother in laws, nieces and nephews were getting and opening their gifts, I just sat there in silence. There was only one small package under the tree for me, and it was the last one passed out. He just smiled and said here is your present. That sort of got the attention of everyone in the room. I opened the gift to find a pair of Legg's suntan pantyhose. He said: "So now wear these and be a girl." My brother in laws thought that was hilarious. I was laughed at by most of the family. I just simply said thanks Pop for the gift. He went back to the silent treatment after that.

New Years Eve was a family celebration again. His brother and sister with their husband/wife would come over as well. We all would eat dinner and then either play board games or watch football. I asked my parents if I could invite a girl friend (a friend we were not dating) of mine for dinner that evening. My mom said it was fine, my father on the other hand just rolled his eyes. Well this is where she assisted me happily in my plot. She brought over makeup, heels, and a nice dress. I already had my own under garments. She fussed over me for a couple of hours. As I dressed I opened the package of the pantyhose and when I put them on it was an electric feeling. I slipped into the dress and then she did some additional work on my hair and makeup. They called us down for dinner. I walked down the stairs and came out into the dining room. All of my family sitting around the table. The dirty looks and gasps were priceless. I turned and smiled to my father, lifted up my leg pulling the dress up to my thigh, and asked how did my Christmas present look to him? My Uncle asked what the hell is he doing and what Christmas present is he talking about? I explained that my gift this year was pantyhose, and I thought I would wear them down to dinner. You can imagine how the rest of that went. There was at least another almost month of silence between my father and I. He never forgave me for doing that.

That memory always pops in my head this time of year. I was amazed that even though I knew it was going to be such a horrible evening: I don't think I had ever felt so liberated and so much like myself.
Happy New Year Girls,
Jenni