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Thread: A New Years memory.....My first time

  1. #1
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    A New Years memory.....My first time

    I was 15 in the summer of 1980. I had started training and cycle racing with a group of four other guys. In December one of the guys suggested that we all get our ear pierced. I knew this was not going to go over well for me. I tried to hold out, but about two weeks before Christmas we all went and got it done. My hair was already shoulder length and I was shaving my legs regularly. Both of these things were already a source of great contention for my father. Needless to say coming home that evening and sitting down for supper was a terrible thing. I always sat to his left, but that evening did my best to change seats, but that did not happen. He took one look at my ear and lost his mind. He reacted so poorly, screamed and cussed at me, and then made a statement of "if you are going to act like a girl, then you should be dressed like one." I thought that was one of the nicest things he had ever said to me, but in that context it really was one of the most hurtful. That was the last words he muttered in my direction until Christmas Eve. Our family tradition was to always celebrate on Christmas Eve. All of the family would come over we would have a meal and then later in the evening we would open gifts. That year he passed out all the gifts. As my sisters, brother in laws, nieces and nephews were getting and opening their gifts, I just sat there in silence. There was only one small package under the tree for me, and it was the last one passed out. He just smiled and said here is your present. That sort of got the attention of everyone in the room. I opened the gift to find a pair of Legg's suntan pantyhose. He said: "So now wear these and be a girl." My brother in laws thought that was hilarious. I was laughed at by most of the family. I just simply said thanks Pop for the gift. He went back to the silent treatment after that.

    New Years Eve was a family celebration again. His brother and sister with their husband/wife would come over as well. We all would eat dinner and then either play board games or watch football. I asked my parents if I could invite a girl friend (a friend we were not dating) of mine for dinner that evening. My mom said it was fine, my father on the other hand just rolled his eyes. Well this is where she assisted me happily in my plot. She brought over makeup, heels, and a nice dress. I already had my own under garments. She fussed over me for a couple of hours. As I dressed I opened the package of the pantyhose and when I put them on it was an electric feeling. I slipped into the dress and then she did some additional work on my hair and makeup. They called us down for dinner. I walked down the stairs and came out into the dining room. All of my family sitting around the table. The dirty looks and gasps were priceless. I turned and smiled to my father, lifted up my leg pulling the dress up to my thigh, and asked how did my Christmas present look to him? My Uncle asked what the hell is he doing and what Christmas present is he talking about? I explained that my gift this year was pantyhose, and I thought I would wear them down to dinner. You can imagine how the rest of that went. There was at least another almost month of silence between my father and I. He never forgave me for doing that.

    That memory always pops in my head this time of year. I was amazed that even though I knew it was going to be such a horrible evening: I don't think I had ever felt so liberated and so much like myself.
    Happy New Year Girls,
    Jenni

  2. #2
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Happy New Year - thanks for sharing

  3. #3
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    that took real balls.

  4. #4
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    Wow Happy New Year.Good bluff call on your father.

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Robbiegirl's Avatar
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    Very impressive !

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member missjoann49's Avatar
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    Happy New Year Jenni, I hope things are better for you now

  7. #7
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    An unforgettable story - such a gutsy move! Breaking away from our parents, becoming our own person is always tough, and you did so in no uncertain terms. We can all draw a lesson from your confidence. I guess the next question is, how is your relationship now?. Has your father become more accepting? I hope so.
    Happy New Year Jenni, to you and yours
    Kris

  8. #8
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    Thanks for sharing. Sometimes I wonder if there is a researcher on this site who is taking notes on the crap some men have gone through during their life journey. I wonder where the relationship with your father went after you matured into an adult. His reaction was terrible, so hurtful, intentionally so. Basically, his treatment of you was nothing less than child abuse. I glad you had the balls to rub it in his face. In these situations I think it is wise to get it out in the open rather than tip-toe around the issue. Somehow I think fathers, especially fathers, think it was some short coming in raising the child. I read your other post concerning your relationship with your wife. Here it is, forty years later, and nothing has really changed for you. Be strong.

    I had to take crap 15 years before (1965) when my parents suspected I was into my mother's lingerie draw. My father and mother were homophobic and did not suppress their opinions. My father passed away that year, so we never had the opportunity to be outright confrontational. I'm sure he would have raised hell.

  9. #9
    Oh my god, I'm a girl! jazmine's Avatar
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    H~O~L~Y COW!!!
    Wow!
    Speechless!
    So I like dressing like girl. BIG DEAL!

  10. #10
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    Stephanie and Kris: I often wonder about the researcher as well . My dad died in 1996, and we never really talked about that night anymore. There were so many other pressing problems in our relationship, that one seemed to no longer be the New New. We could never really find closeness even as I became an adult and a parent myself. I appreciate your mentioning the similar problems with my wife. Thanks for your support there. I was commenting to a friend this morning on how we tend to marry the person that most resembles our most difficult parental relationship. My wife is much like my father. It kind of amazes me how I have been looking for just a little understanding for a lot of years. I tend to look at understanding and acceptance as a ladder. As we understand our acceptance increases and vise versa. I would appreciate just a bit of understanding. My mom was more of the quiet person. She knew about my dressing, and I always took her silence as acceptance. She would find stuff that I either bought or snagged along the way. I was never good at hiding stuff anyway. Without a word being said, she would take them from me and I would never see them again. I think I may have said this in a post here. I had this gorgeous long silk nightgown that I stole off of a neighbors clothes line. I adored that thing. Well, she found it and it disappeared. She passed 6 years ago. Before she passed we had to move her into a nursing home. I was responsible for emptying her home before we sold it. When going through her dressers I happened to find that gown. I can't tell you how overjoyed I was. I finally got to take something back.
    Last edited by Jenni6521; 12-30-2021 at 01:40 PM.

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member Territx's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing that story. I would never have had the nerve to do that at a family party.
    I am what I am and also what I am not!

  12. #12
    stone free mykell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jazmine View Post
    H~O~L~Y COW!!!
    Wow!
    Speechless!
    so superwomen showed up that new year night....that took nerves of steal....
    sorry to hear they have passed on, any relationship with the rest of the family....does the mrs. know?
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that those who deny freedom deserve it not for themselves
    NOBODY gets a pass to blow out someone else's candle in order to make theyre's shine brighter

  13. #13
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    Mykell: I have 3 older sisters and my relationship with them is decent. As far as the Mrs's, that was one of the first post I made after joining the group. She knew when we were dating. She even participated once, by dressing me up in what she was going to wear to work the next day. We were staying at a hotel and she dressed me in her skirt, blouse, pantyhose, and flats. My feet were way too big for the shoes. It is always difficult to say where she is with her "knowing," and that is mostly my fault. I am going to be approaching the subject again with her very very soon.

  14. #14
    stone free mykell's Avatar
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    welcome to the group, happy new years, hope things go well for you....
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that those who deny freedom deserve it not for themselves
    NOBODY gets a pass to blow out someone else's candle in order to make theyre's shine brighter

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Brenda Freeman's Avatar
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    Wow that is a memory I am sure everyone their remembers. Any family get togethers where it was brought up. You jumped right in full speed ahead Jenni. I never told my parents or anybody for that matter until I told my wife after over 25 years of marriage. I felt so alone about this and it was really starting to affect me in bad ways. Luckily my wife has been accepting. It took sometime for her, but I know she is a very open minded person that is why I took the risk. This forum has been wonderful, I do not feel alone anymore and can relate to so many others Journeys. Best wishes to you and your future Jenni. Happy New Year!

  16. #16
    Senior Member Geena75's Avatar
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    I concur, WOW. Possibly the bravest thing I have heard of here. With your mom in the know, sort of, you couldn't totally pass it off as a gag, albeit a spiteful one. I wonder if the rest of the family passed it off as a tough practical joke. I imagine that was a now turning back point, for certain.

  17. #17
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Jenni, I love it when someone turns something on a perpetrator. Good for you embarrassing you father with his "gift."
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

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