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Thread: Disappointment, and looking ahead.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Disappointment, and looking ahead.

    This was a very difficult day for me, with some trying days ahead. I'm not feeling too good right now.

    A little over a year ago I posted a thread titled “Curiosity and Fear” in which I discussed my desire to go clean shaven and satisfy my curiosity of how I would look done out like a woman. I haven’t shaved most of my face in over 40 years, and I have gotten curious as to how I would look. I got the green light from the spouse, promising that I would be able to grow it back. I also noted in the thread that I was afraid that I might look so ridiculous that I might want to give it up altogether.

    Well, I did it. Strangely, as I look off some at a time, I was pretty pleased at how it was going, until I cleared off my chin and upper lip. Not to my liking at all. Now I know why I covered up my face in the first place. I can hardly wait to grow it back. True to my decision, I dressed up and did what I could with make-up. Not anything approaching the results I had hoped for – not so much due to my obvious lack of skill, but poor features to build upon. Honestly, I would like to delete the photos I took and pretend it never happened.

    This has been sort of a watershed moment for me in this “peculiar pastime.” For the last year I have been consistently encouraged by the look I achieved with a facemask, even venturing out. At this point, I no longer know where I want to go with it. I packed my things away for the time being as I sort this out. It seems like how I appear is way more important to me than I had thought. I will be considering a number of things in the mean time.

    For those who followed my Alec and Amy series; I still plan on writing, and hopefully it will not affect how the story progresses.
    Last edited by Geena75; 01-02-2022 at 04:08 PM.

  2. #2
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    Geena, you have had facial hair for sometime now and it is only natural for a person to not like a obvious BIG change in your appearance.
    You need to give yourself a chance to accumulate to the new you.
    As far as facial features, there are a lot of feminine ladies out there with masculine facial features, raked chins, acne, etc, but none with facial hair.
    I urge you to put yourself in timeout! Look at some true ladies out there with your facial features.
    Google... "women with masculine facial features." " Women with _______ facial issues".

    Don't just throw in the towel!
    Last edited by candykowal; 01-02-2022 at 04:38 PM.
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Davina2833's Avatar
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    Genna,

    Relax, take a step back and relax.

    You do have a great following on your Alec and Amy series, keep us posted. (great writing btw)

    Davina

  4. #4
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    Geena, I know you are feeling disappointed. Most of us do not achieve what we desire, even GGS.You might achieve the feeling you desire. Don?t give up, please persevere to succeed. Things might get better.

  5. #5
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Sorry that you were disappointed, Geena. It might take some getting used to, so don't give up too soon. You do have beautiful eyes so maybe with a little practice, you will like your new look.

    When my SO started CDing, he shaved the beard that he had for many years. It was odd at first but after a few weeks, it was the "new normal".

  6. #6
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    I think it was just such a shock and like Char said could be a new normal. Play Up best features like Char said /your pretty eyes. Watch YouTube videos learn how to contour and make your eyes pop. Just concentrate on that right now. I am sorry you?re disappointed but don?t give up.
    Last edited by Di; 01-02-2022 at 05:49 PM.

  7. #7
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    It isn't just u, Geena. 25 years ago I began trying on women's clothes for the 1st time and was shocked how sexy my figure looked!

    However, after a year I was ready to give it up because of how homely and male my face was!

    Then, that Halloween I tried on a face mask and that changed everything. My face finally matched my sexy figure. Sherry was born and my life changed forever!

    Of course, I can't always go out masked because they freak people out. But, I rarely take photos unmasked.
    And, in nearly ever photo posted here I'm actually wearing a beard and stash!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #8
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    I think you were addicted to your male face. Shaving after forty years had to be a shock. Who the heck is that guy in the mirror. My facial hair is light. If I shave closely in the morning the effect lasts all day. I do not get five o'clock shadow as my natural hair is light and now white. Still I have male structure. I think too many cross dressers are overly concerned with an "ultra feminine look," whatever that's suppose to mean. For the duration of Covid-19 you can continue to wear a mask. It may save your ass. Frankly, I stay away from mirrors. The only mirror I choose to look at is a full length mirror, if and when I leave the door to the bathroom open. From afar all looks well. I cannot see my male face which has not seen makeup for several decades with the exception of lip color as it leaves a ring on my coffee cup and a faint scent. Women age. Some, like my wife, still have at age 70 smooth, tight blemish free skin. Others I know have skin that looks like a road map. Women do not stop being women when they get older. Learning some makeup skills may soften what you see or perceive.

    Do who have a picture of what your wife looked like forty years ago? Right on our fireplace mantle is our wedding picture from fifty years ago. Who are those guys?

  9. #9
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    I'm really sorry you are perceiving the change this way Geena. It is a change you will need to acclimate yourself to in both male and female mides, as I did. I'd say give yourself time, and do dress during that time. Try some of the suggestions on using makeup to contour the face to create a more feminine appearance as others suggest, and give yourself a chance. I found that when I shaved my facial hair recently after more than 40 years the skin was quite rough, almost scalp-like. It calmed down, and is much smoother now, easier to shave as well, and yields a more feminine appearance. Virtually none of us have truly feminine features, some of us are just better with makeup.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Geena, I would think that after having facial for that long it would be natural for it to be a shock to the system to see it gone. Hang in there and see how you feel after a week or two, keep it shaved and smooth, give it a chance.
    Crissy

  11. #11
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Geena,

    You haven't shaved in 40 years, now with a smooth face you slap on a bit of makeup and expect perfection there and then.

    For goodness sake, get a grip girl. There are many who've been applying makeup for years and still can't get it right. To think you'll master the art immediately is being extremely wishful.

    As others have said, take a bit of time, get used to the new you in the mirror and then spend time experimenting. You spent 40 plus years bearded, a month or three smooth shaven won't do any harm and give your time to get used to the new look.

  12. #12
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    Geena one thing you might try before you grow it back would be have a professional make over. What you can do with the right make up and how to use it can be amazing. I also agree with Candy of course it's a big chance to lose your facial hair give it some time.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Seems like a pretty normal reaction to a drastic change in appearance. I'm guessing a woman who has kept her hair long for decades could feel the same way after cutting it short. Give yourself a few days without mirrors. It's just hair, you know. It's not like you lost an eye or a limb. You will be OK.

  14. #14
    Member Charlotte Sparkle's Avatar
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    A lot of sound advice posted here Geena, I can only echo what others have said.

    Don't despair, hang in there and keep yourself clean shaven for a while. Makeup does take practice, so keep practising. Also, now you're clean shaven experiment with different wig styles to find one that suits your shape face when dressed.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Geena75's Avatar
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    I really do appreciate all of your encouragement. I went back and analyzed the results from yesterday and concluded several things. One is that I totally missed the ball for makeup and focus. Another is that the camera wasn't kind and I was even less so. Then I used FaceApp on a clean faced photo and checked what it did different to get a tolerable result. Consequently, I got back on the horse today, and tried again doing things differently, and got results that were poor but tolerable.

    A couple things to bear in mind, though. Clearing off my face was a test, a conclusion to curiosity. I timed it so that, barring remarkably good results, I would promptly start the regrowth to be fairly well re-whiskered by the end of the month (I have a function to attend then where bearded is better). I hadn't seriously intended to remain clean shaven because 1) the family doesn't like the way I look, 2) I don't like the way I look, and 3) I don't like shaving, particularly around my mouth. I intend to continue in this "peculiar pastime," but probably differently. Purging has no place in my plans for the future.

    Yesterday I was feeling really discouraged and needed an on-line shoulder to cry on. Thank you all for being there. I'm still debating on posting some photos now.

  16. #16
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    Your family has criticized the way you look? WTH, unless there is a birthmark to disquise, or accident scar, natural features should not need to be covered up. What have they really said? There has to be more than consigning oneself to the look of the bearded lady on Greatest Showman movie.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Geena75's Avatar
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    SirDonna

    What have they really said? Well, referring to the in-home family members, they said I don't look good this way, when they weren't laughing. I hold no ill will because that is the conclusion I made before they saw it. As far as the bearded lady reference, that's a cross I'm willing to bear for the 10 hrs. a month I manage to dress up.

  18. #18
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    I dressed as myself when I was 17, and then not again until I was 34. During that entire time i had some form of facial hair. I was dressing as me occasionally, only from the neck down. Finally one day I said, hey, I'm going to shave my face, get some hair for my head, and try some makeup. When I saw myself, I hated what I saw. And my wife and I had a hard time with the changes in my appearance, and we spent many a moment giggling at myself. It took time, effort, energy, persistence, determination, learning about makeup, clothes, hair, me, and cameras.

    Now? I am typically shocked by how far I've come. Who knows what can be done, until you try.....

  19. #19
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I also had a beard for a long time. It didn't stop folks from gendering me as female!
    The best feature of my face is the absence of wrinkles. I've been told I could pass as being in my 20s if I dyed my hair.

    This thread reminded me to start wearing the lipstick I've bought. Like anything else I need to practice before it looks acceptable.

    Marion

  20. #20
    New Member CDLagras's Avatar
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    Geena, in this time its perfectly ok to be a crossdresser and have a beard ( look up: Conchita Wurst )
    dont compare yourself to others and if you do think about GG, they will use filters, photo angles to look the best, and they have a life-time makeup experience.. Maybe you just need the experience and the correct angles.. You and your environment will get used to your new look.. some sunshine can do wonders aswel..

  21. #21
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geena75 View Post
    As far as the bearded lady reference, that's a cross I'm willing to bear
    Have you watched the movie? At first the bearded lady hates the face hair, but by the end she embraces it and it does not diminish her identity as a female. So a cross at first and an enhancement at the end.

    It's a great flick.

  22. #22
    Junior Member TamT's Avatar
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    I didn't shave for a while only once and it was terrible for my facial skin, so I didn't do it again. If I don't shave for some days, some red spots and dandruff appear.

    But a couple of friends that had beard for years decided to shave for health reasons when the pandemic started. Using masks over the beard was not comfortable and required to be more careful when in public (even during the lockdown).

  23. #23
    Senior Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Now that I have a basis for comparison, I find the masking (all day at work) is more comfortable with the beard -- it sort of holds the mask out from my face. Of course, it's hotter in the summer. My biggest issue when I shaved is that my facial skin is looser than years ago and harder to shave -- I use an old-fashioned double-edged safety razor.

  24. #24
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    If you ever decide to shave again, use a top of the line norelco rotary. It's expensive but worth it. Works for face, chest and legs and not any worry of nicks. It cuts as close as a blade after 2 hrs, so great for everyday use.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Short story.

    I had some sort of facial hair, mustache, goatee, or full beard for some 30 years when I decided to shave it off. My wife had never seen me with a completely shaved face. I was convinced to shave it off by my wife and brother. Since I'd always had a very heavy beard so I knew that I could grow it back in a couple of months if I didn't like the result.

    I had originally grown the beard to "look older", and it worked, but now I wanted to look younger. One of the reasons for not shaving it off was that I was afraid that it would encourage me to get more girly. It was really weird shaving it off, both for how it looked and for how it felt. Without my "beard filter" mustache, any cold liquids felt cold above my upper lip for the first time in decades.

    I decided to take my clean-shaven face for a spin around the salon. I booked a makeover for when I was out of town on business. I'm watching the makeover as it is taking place in the mirror. Meh. A boy wearing makeup, a boy wearing makeup. The she spun me around, facing away from the mirror, while she did my eyes. When she spun me around to see myself in the mirror, the boy was gone and the girl appeared, and she was cute, maybe even sexy.

    I was elated. She took a few pics and then I told her to take it off. All I really wanted was to see was if I could look like a girl. She said, "I just spent an hour making you look pretty. You have to at least take your makeover for a spin around town IRL". In short, I did, and it was so outstanding. I had reached a new plateau, and never went back.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 01-07-2022 at 04:22 AM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

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