This was a very difficult day for me, with some trying days ahead. I'm not feeling too good right now.
A little over a year ago I posted a thread titled “Curiosity and Fear” in which I discussed my desire to go clean shaven and satisfy my curiosity of how I would look done out like a woman. I haven’t shaved most of my face in over 40 years, and I have gotten curious as to how I would look. I got the green light from the spouse, promising that I would be able to grow it back. I also noted in the thread that I was afraid that I might look so ridiculous that I might want to give it up altogether.
Well, I did it. Strangely, as I look off some at a time, I was pretty pleased at how it was going, until I cleared off my chin and upper lip. Not to my liking at all. Now I know why I covered up my face in the first place. I can hardly wait to grow it back. True to my decision, I dressed up and did what I could with make-up. Not anything approaching the results I had hoped for – not so much due to my obvious lack of skill, but poor features to build upon. Honestly, I would like to delete the photos I took and pretend it never happened.
This has been sort of a watershed moment for me in this “peculiar pastime.” For the last year I have been consistently encouraged by the look I achieved with a facemask, even venturing out. At this point, I no longer know where I want to go with it. I packed my things away for the time being as I sort this out. It seems like how I appear is way more important to me than I had thought. I will be considering a number of things in the mean time.
For those who followed my Alec and Amy series; I still plan on writing, and hopefully it will not affect how the story progresses.
