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Thread: Hair Growing Harassment

  1. #26
    Member Charlotte Sparkle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie MA View Post
    She especially dislikes the ponytail. Which is what I like alot. Have not had any split ends. Not much wildness since the awkward stage.
    My Wife says older men with ponytails looks silly and I would suspect that many women would be in agreement with her. That's why I'm looking to get my hair styled in a feminine style so I don't have to resort to wearing my hair in a ponytail every day. I'm not sure she'll approve but it may be more acceptable to her than a ponytail.

  2. #27
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    I wear a pony tail most every day.
    If I don't, then my extra-fine hair goes everywhere including in my mouth.
    I am 78
    Leslie Mary Shy
    Remember this:
    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
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  3. #28
    Aspiring Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    It can depend whether your hair is straight or Curley. Mine is straight. When younger and grown long it was similar to Tom Petty s hairstyle. If I was to grow it long now there would be a bald spot on top and a style more like Francis Rossi(Status Quo) or Willie Nelson.Which a wife would see as ridiculous. If you can do it and pull it off regularly trimming the split ends should keep it tidy.

  4. #29
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    I thought my coworkers might look at my long hair with condescension, but their reaction has been unreal to me. They regularly comment that I should get my hair cut. They tell me that I look like a hippie. It's always some comment. I just ignore it, but I, for the life of me, cannot understand why they care. It riles them up, though.

    Natalie

  5. #30
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    Dutchess, I understand all of what you say. Except the part about not liking her. I reread all my comments. I do not see that. Just looking for tolerance and equal understanding. Julie
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

  6. #31
    GG Dutchess's Avatar
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    If it didn't look that way I woudn't say it ... I was hoping you didn't mean it as it appears . I'm very glad you don't . She's just trying to keep some sort of control over what she probably sees as her life spinning out of control , not of you personally . I know it seems that way but its not .
    I see so many threads with people just hating on their wives . No one is forced to stay but as well sometimes the people here just get completely off the hook about things.
    IG : Knightress Oxide

  7. #32
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    It goes both ways about still loving someone, even if you do not like all of their behaviors.
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

  8. #33
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    Growing out your hair just takes a bit of patience. I remember the exact moment when I decided to grow my hair long and it had absolutely nothing to do with looking feminine. In fact it was the polar opposite...

    When I was in my early 20s I was on a date and we went to see the movie "Legends of the Fall". When Brad Pitt appeared in his first scene, every woman in the theater lost their minds (including my date)! It was then and there that I said goodbye to barbershops.

    I've kept my hair shoulder-length virtually ever since, with the front and sides reaching my collarbone. Contrary to some opinions, I've discovered that many women quite like a man with his hair tied back.

  9. #34
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    So, a woman not wanting her husband to grow his hair long, that is control? To me it's just like Julie initially said, wife likes her husband's hair short. If a husband can't please his wife in the way he dresses or gets a haircut then what is she entitled to ask exactly? When I met my wife and she suggested that I get rid of a nasty little mustache, I did it pronto and the word "control" never came up... I just wanted to please her! When my wife wears pantyhose she does it primarily because she knows it pleases me, not because this is the most convenient garment for doing trips to the bathroom!
    Couples do these things, right? Because they love each other and want to please each other.

    Also, I don't want to be tacky but I couldn't help noticing either that many dressers want to grow their hair long (or use a long wig) to look more feminine. Which is fine. But... the corollary of that logic is that short hair looks masculine*. So why should a CD husband be surprised that his hetero wife wants his hair short?

    * Which is wrong of course, and examples abound, here's one: https://images.app.goo.gl/DWRZp6hREDogCS7w7

  10. #35
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    The give and take also goes both ways. I really do not ask for much of her, or of anything.
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

  11. #36
    Aspiring Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Due to a recent move from one state to another, I ended up going about 8 weeks without a haircut. I normally go 6 weeks between haircuts. Anyway, one day before getting a haircut I mentioned to my wife I thought I should forget haircuts for a while and go for a "man bun." She said I should go for it. I didn't and don't really care to; but, I thought her response was interesting.

  12. #37
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Julie, My wife would be happy if I grew my hair longer. However, I have had basically the same haircut since boot camp in 1980. Prior to that it was shoulder length and I could put it in a pony tail. But that was the style back then.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  13. #38
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    Wife and 18 year old daughter, home from college, absolutely attacked over this last night. I think I made rational points and my daughter got it. Not sure about wife. It was an ugly scene. I stressed that I?m donating the hair, if I ever get that far. They seemed to understand that motive. But it all hurt overall
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

  14. #39
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Julie,

    I have not tried to grow my hair out, but I did grow my nails quite long and I got the same 3rd degree that you got over the hair. In the end, I can get a similar effect with false nails, so I decided it just was not worth arguing over. I understand how we can get our minds focused on being able to do something, but sometimes the down side offsets the benefits. It seems your wife is similar to mine. Mine just can not deal with it. The one thing I did learn from this site is that it is not her fault. She is not able to adapt to the change. I do not fault her. It is just the way things are.

    Anyhow, now that it has escalated, it will be difficult to grow it out without her resentment. You just have to ask yourself how important the hair length really is. I was almost in tears when I cut my nails as they were so nice looking at the time, but they were not worth my marriage. Just something to think about, but I do understand the hurt. Sorry for your troubles.

    Sandi

  15. #40
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    For myself I love women having long hair, it's like my wife goes out of her way to cut it short on despite. I grew a goat tee once and because I have a very oily complexion I started getting pimples. Having a bad acne problem in my youth and I didn't want to go down that road again I shaved it off and it took me a while to get my skin back to normal. My wife liked it and automatically assumed I didn't want to grow it because of my fem side and I'm was just making excuses. I will be honest I thought it looked ok on me but my biggest issue was I didn't like the maintenance, it needed trimming and it didn't match any of my dresses. Lol

  16. #41
    Member Billie's Avatar
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    I am on the slowly growing my hair out trip. I go once a month for a trim to keep it looking presentable. I don't want it looking too shaggy, it's now about chin length in the front and stacked in the back.

    I figure if ever is going to be the time to grow your hair out, it's now. Between waves of COVID and employers looking for employees, a well kept mop shouldn't be much of an issue. Though I wish I had started at the first lock-down, I might have some better length.

  17. #42
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie MA View Post
    Wife and 18 year old daughter, home from college, absolutely attacked over this last night. I think I made rational points and my daughter got it. Not sure about wife. It was an ugly scene. I stressed that I?m donating the hair, if I ever get that far. They seemed to understand that motive. But it all hurt overall
    I asked above if this was a battle you are willing to fight, and apparently, it is. Are you willing to risk your marriage over growing your hair out? Are you willing to put up with the tension and unhappiness this brings?

    Be careful, you may be ending your marriage.
    Krisi

  18. #43
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    When I met my wife, I had long beautiful hair half way down my back. She hated it, so I got it cut short. The things we do for love. Sigh.
    What do I do on days when I don't crossdress? I have no idea.

  19. #44
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    A marriage that ends over hair cannot be a good one.
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

  20. #45
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    I got grief from almost everyone. I let it go and did me. And couldn't be happier. Of course I wasn't married so I didn't have to worry about a spouses opinion in any way.

  21. #46
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    I cant remember my last short hair cut my hair is 3/4 of the way down my back blonde with silver streaks thick and curly no hair cuts for this girl

  22. #47
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie MA View Post
    A marriage that ends over hair cannot be a good one.
    Question is: who ends the marriage? The wife refusing to have a husband with long hair or the husband considering that long hair means more to him than his marriage?

  23. #48
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    I have not had a "real" haircut since August 2017. I have only twice had an inch and a half trimmed to remove split ends. I retired in 2019 so I had long hair even in the corporate environment. I have had a good bit of harassment from people - mostly family members about my long hair. My wife doesn't like it and routinely jabs me for it but she recognizes it is a personal choice just as her hair style is. She will not bow to a hair style choice for me. So, my hair style choice is mine and mine alone also. To those that harass, I have let them know in no-uncertain-terms that it is not up for them to dictate or to vote. And I have felt the need to get nasty with only a few over it if they don't relent. I simply will not tolerate their harassment or attempts to control. My wife knows I will not tolerate harassment over it or anything else and she therefore avoids the conflict.

    I enjoy ponytails. My hair is down below the bottom of my shoulder blades and is very curly and sometimes frizzy. I sometimes part my hair in different ways and sometimes put it up in a bun. But most that know me also know I am willing to discuss my hair. But they also know not to cross the line demanding control or suggesting it is offensive or derogatory to my person or gender.

    My hair style is not a mater for dictatorial styling, debate or voting. If they don't like it, they can look somewhere else.

  24. #49
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    @ KarenCD334
    I'm certainly with you on that! I can sport a ponytail or man bun easily and when Dee Dee comes around, I love curling my hair as well and also do curls in man mode no problem! I did get some flack in the beginning but all is well now. I usually get more complaints from women about my hair style! Keep rocking!

  25. #50
    Member ziggie's Avatar
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    I've been growing my hair out since about April of last year (8 or 9 months). As it is quite curly it tends to be more "shoulder width" than "shoulder length. My wife suggested cutting it in June or July of last year but I simply told her that I was going to grow it out. I'm looking forward to getting it long enough to put in a pony tail or braid, but it isn't there yet. Interestingly, I have not received any negative comments but several people have yelled across parking lots "I like your hair!". Go figure.

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