The first time I tried on my mom's panties, I got very aroused, both pre-climatic and climatic. At 12, I think that it gets wired into the brain and never goes away. As an engineer, I would say it becomes firmware (pun intended) not software (pun also intended).
This is the first time I realized how punny the analogy is.
Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 01-10-2022 at 01:17 AM.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Hi Dan and Dee Dee,
Your feelings of arousal are perfectly normal for the large majority of males who crossdress. But since crossdressing is typically driven by a complex mixture of motives, figuring out where the feelings come from can be a confusing challenge, especially if you?re new to this. So what you asked is not a ?stupid? question in the least.
Some people say ?never mind why you do it; just enjoy!? I on the other hand like to analyze things and understand ?why.? The point is not to ?get worried? about why we do it, only to understand ourselves. To ?analyze? means to break something down into its component parts, and there can certainly be a spectrum of reasons why we enjoy crossdressing, or even need to do it.
At one end of this spectrum is the fetishistic attraction of the clothes themselves, which is purely erotic. A fetish object, such as panties and other female garments, is something we associate with women, and can be excited by in the same way we would find a woman exciting. So putting on women?s clothes and women?s underwear can be as arousing as being in intimate contact with an actual woman. This is how I saw myself initially, though there was more to it than that. But some men have a fetishistic attraction to various items of women?s clothing without wanting to crossdress fully or truly experience femininity.
There is a great deal of tactile pleasure in wearing women?s clothing: the silkiness or panties or a slip (like the smoothness of a woman?s skin), the feeling of legs in nylons, the hug of a bra and the feeling of having ?breasts,? or of feet ?jacked up? on high heels into a more feminine body posture/ The connection between ?sensuality? and ?sexual arousal? is a close one.
At the other end of this spectrum, much crossdressing is simply about experiencing, expressing and enjoying the feminine side of the personality. This in itself is nonsexual, in an erotic sense at least. For some, it?s not just ?embracing the feminine? but also ?escaping the masculine,? with which they either do not identify at all, or at least see as a relief, temporary or otherwise, from the burdens they perceive to be imposed on masculinity. For either of these reasons, crossdressing is relaxing and pleasant, or sometimes desperately needed as a ?permanent solution.?
We can all have some widely variable mixture of these motives inside ourselves. What makes it more complicated still is that there?s a huge overlap between them The very illusion of ?being a woman,? dressed as a woman, can be erotic in itself. Why exactly? The reasons are complex.
For one, there?s a theory about a phenomenon called ?autogynephilia,? which holds that the crossdresser is simply aroused by the vision of ?herself? as an attractive woman, as she would be by an actual woman. Not everybody agrees with this theory, but a number of crossdressers do get turned on at seeing themselves looking sexy in their mirror. So that?s not the whole story, but it can be one piece of the puzzle.
Along with this, being dressed as a woman can enable the erotic fantasy of having sex in the role of a woman. This doesn?t have to mean sex with a man. It could be a fantasy of lesbian sex, though some are admittedly attracted to the fantasy of a male partner. If they are, even this doesn?t necessarily mean they?re gay (androphilic) or even bisexual, although some are. It can simply be a fantasy I call ?transex? that they wouldn?t dream of indulging in while seeing themselves in a male role; only as female.
Another detail of this is that androphilia (sexual attraction to men) is not necessarily a monolithic phenomenon. It can have independent component parts of its own, which are not necessarily aligned. Many crossdressers enjoy being appreciated by men and seen as attractive by men. Some have romantic fantasies of being dated and ?treated as a woman? by men, but that?s as far as it goes. They do not want sex with men. They have no interest in what some politely refer to as ?men?s parts.? Yet with some it?s the other way round. They are attracted to the notion (at least) of sex with a ?phallic partner,? which could be a man, but in other respects could be a female figure. This is best called ?phallophilia,? but is associated with a ?feminine? wish to play a ?submissive? or ?receiving? role in sex. In this case sex with a man may seem arousing in some ways, but that?s all. It doesn?t have to mean wanting to ?be with? a male partner in broader ways, or being ?gay? in the holistic sense of the word.
In short, it?s all a big mishmash of frequently conflicting urges. No wonder some people struggle with questions about their sexuality. Heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, what the heck! I refer to all this as ?mixtuality.? But for the purpose of this discussion, the bottom line is that crossdressing can be arousing because it enables any or all of these erotic fantasies.
Apart from that, I have an idea that women can find the realization of being attractive sexually arousing in itself. The same may apply to anyone who enjoys expressing their own ?feminine side.? For instance, I recall a treasured girlfriend of long ago telling me once that she ?felt so sexy in her slip.? She looked sexy too! I have to contrast this with my male side. I can certainly enjoy ?looking smart? when well dressed as a man--and hopefully attractive to women!--but to me there?s nothing ?erotic? or sexually arousing about it. It?s simply a feeling of ?masculine pride.? Dressing as a woman on the other hand is definitely a turn-on. As a female, or when expressing a feminine side of the personality, it might be different, and ?feeling attractive? in feminine guise may be erotic, or ?autoerotic,? in itself. It would be interesting to hear if any of our GGs would like to comment on that.
In summary, in the middle of the spectrum I spoke of there?s a great deal of crossover between the feeling of being feminine and erotic arousal. We are all a mixture of elements (like Shakespeare?s Brutus), and which parts might apply to you are a matter for personal exploration. But certainly ?getting turned on? by crossdressing is completely normal and something to be expected, regardless of the reason for it! I hope something in all this will help you discover more of yourself.
P.S. My tax accountant in nicknamed ?DeeDee,? though her real name is something else. She?s smart and fun and at late middle age is still very attractive.
I'll echo the statements others have made. Early on it was sexual (wasn't everything?) but, as time went on I shifted to an appreciation of the nice feeling I get from feminine garb.
Early on when I was a young teen. Just seein a pair of law ties was sexual. Later on, wearing Pattie?s was enhanced by more lingerie and ultimately outerwear as well. And it always had a sexual element to it. Nowadays, it is still,there but just take a little bit more to get things started.
When I first started wearing my Mom's panties and slips as a little boy, it was definitely arousing for me. I hesitate to call my response sexual or erotic because I was too young to even know what sex was. I just knew that it felt really good and I had a very strong physical response immediately.
I still do, to a point. I'd be fibbing if I didn't say that there is still an erotic component to my dressing and I'm definitely ok with that. It's certainly a significant part of why I enjoy feminizing.
The most common form of despair is not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard
Firs years of crosdressing it was also arousing, but there always were some other, unique feeling which never comes with sex. Like I'm angel ready to fly. During years it's more like sensual (like the feeling I'm what I am + deep satisfaction about it)
For me 75% of the time it is an extremely sensual experience to dress up. It is such a lovely feeling to put on lingerie and a dress and just immerse myself in that feminine aura. The other 25% is purely sexual.
For me it's sensual. I love the feeling of calm that comes over me. I was driving one day in drab. And I just had the overwhelming desire to be dressed in my mini skirt and having the hem riding my thighs. I didn't want stockings to get in the way of that skirt. I had to wait for the weekend to be over so I could get to my friends house and put on that skirt.
She chuckled as I ran in the door and straight to the bedroom so I could get that skirt on.
This is why I love the forum. We can all relate to one another. Certainly isn't a stupid question. I wonder how many GGs get turned on when they get dressed or do they take it for granted. I know most women have outfits they feel sexy in.
Not really sexual or sensual, but more a feeling of relief to be wearing what I thought I was supposed to be wearing; I always felt like I was wearing a costume of sorts, when dressed as a boy.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Not a stupid question, it shows that you are enjoying what you do.
Just look at the myriad of answers to your question.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
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