Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Yesterday I came out to my sister-in-law...

  1. #1
    Member Wendy-Lyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    207

    Yesterday I came out to my sister-in-law...

    My brother passed away three years ago, but as I have no family apart from my elderly Dad, my sister-in-law and my two nephews basically ARE my family. I told her this, and she said that I would ALWAYS be 'family' to her. She and my brother were together for over 35 years, and loved each-other very much. He dressed, and she knew and was supportive, but she did not know about Wendy-Lyn.

    There is no SO in my life, sadly, so I was seeking her advice about my wish to begin searching for a partner again after many years alone due to an abusive, violent relationship, and being reluctant (read: terrified) to be hurt again. She had never liked the woman concerned, but was shocked when I told her of some things that had been done to me that she hadn't known about. I had told my brother about some of it, but was too ashamed to tell him all at the time. I mentioned a couple of other issues such as my health, which may make forming a relationship harder, and then I said 'And on top of that, I've been dressing a LOT since I got out of hospital in May last year'.

    And... She was fantastic! We talked about dressing for about an hour, both mine and my brother's, how and when he and I had gotten started, and about how they had handled it as a couple. And then she said that, had she known about Wendy-Lyn, I could have had my brother's things if I'd wanted them, rather than being donated - I would have, too, as I do know he had some lovely lingerie. She looked at some pictures of Wendy-Lyn, and checked-out a couple of my dresses, which she said were very nice. She said I looked very pretty, and that with my auburn wig I reminded her so much of my brother that she found it hard to look at the pics. I have a black one as well, which was my natural colour before I went grey.

    She has let me know that I have her complete support, and that means so much to me. I told her that she is a very special woman (she is!), and that I had often envied my brother that he had such a great marriage and relationship when mine had been such a disaster, which she appreciated and thanked me for.
    Last edited by Wendy-Lyn; 01-06-2022 at 05:34 PM. Reason: Clarification, spelling/typos.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Brenda Freeman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Portland,OR
    Posts
    548
    That is wonderful Wendy-Lyn. Nice to have support did you and your brother know early on that you were both crossdressers? I know of a couple of different brothers who found out much later in life and were surprised they did not figure it out earlier. They were working hard to hide it from each other.

  3. #3
    Member Wendy-Lyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    207
    There were three of us boys - no sisters. I am the eldest. Phil was three years younger than me, the other eight years younger.

    My middle brother and I both dressed since our mid-teens, and we did know each-other dressed and each was cool with it. But we never dressed together, or even discussed it that much. It was basically a case of, 'OK, go for it, I've got your back if you need it'.

    The youngest knew I dressed, but not sure if he knew Phil did. To him it was a complete non-issue.

    I miss them both dearly.

  4. #4
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    9,940
    Wendy-Lyn, I'm glad that coming out to your SIL was a positive experience. We all know this could go either way.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  5. #5
    Member Wendy-Lyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    207
    Jamie, I was reasonably confident in bringing it up during our chat, because I knew she had been accepting and supportive of my brother's dressing. But then, I am not my brother, and she could have easily said, 'Not my problem, tell someone who cares'.

    I am so glad that she did not. As I indicated, I have known her for as long as my brother did (close to 40 years), and she is a very special woman. My brother said to me many years ago that she was 'a keeper' - she was, and he did.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    OK, maybe I don't know what I expected. I do feel better after telling her.

    I'm just struggling to know how or where to proceed from here, as it looks like my dressing wants to go further but I'm afraid of how it will affect my attempts to find a partner - which are already reduced due to other things. And there are some fears I have about CDing and going public that I hadn't given sufficient thought to, and which frankly terrify me rigid.

    I did maybe hope for some encouragement from other members, after my having taken this, for me, BIG step of finally admitting what I am (altho I'm still not sure - it's definitely more than 'just dressing', but I don't want to go all the way with surgery etc), to someone who is important in my life - and for finally taking steps to address decades-old issues of hurt and emotional betrayal.

    But that's OK. I'm used to pushing on alone. :'(

    Where to now, I do not know. So much is 'up in the air'. But I am nervous, and scared.

    Thanks to those who did respond. I appreciate it.
    Last edited by Wendy-Lyn; 01-05-2022 at 05:43 PM.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Location
    Central Fla.
    Posts
    829
    Wendy,

    Actually, I too am surprised that you didn't receive more comments on your posting, but it has seemed quiet in here the last few days. Maybe everyone is still recovering from new year's?

    Also - your original posting is in all boldface, and that comes off as shouting and will often get ignored.

    Another thing - your OP didn't seem to be asking for anything. It was just a report of how it went with your sister-in-law, and the responses you did get were about that.
    You didn't get around to asking anything until #5 in this thread - followed by the passive-aggressive "That's OK I'm used to pushing on alone." So, in one breath, you're asking for help, and immediately turning around and telling us not to bother? What are we supposed to do with that?

    But since you sort of asked - here a couple comments from someone who is not out to the world at large and lives in a marriage where what dressing I can do is limited:

    Yes, if you pursue dressing, it will affect your attempts to find a partner. Can you live without one or the other? if so, do that. If (like most of us) you want/need both, then all I can say is "happy hunting." There are ladies out there who can accept CD'ers, but they are few and far between and the (guy?) needs to be an otherwise great catch. Too many red flags and you're going to have a really hard time of it.

    I can't advise you on what to do about or how much you should pursue dressing, or even IF you should at all. That is something that you will have to decide for yourself. Just don't get caught up on trying to fit into someone else's ideas of who or what you're supposed to be. Be true to yourself. There are a couple phrases I like to remember:
    "Remember, you're unique - just like everyone else"
    and
    "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."

    Good luck on your life's journey, and if you have questions - ASK. People will be more than happy to jump in and give their thoughts and opinions if you do.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    8,440
    Hi, Wendy!
    I am a transwoman who at first thought she was a CD! You must decide for yourself where to take this! Take baby steps and proceed slowly! You have to "Let yourself be yourself!" A lot of introspection! Not into dating so much ...yet! Best wishes! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  8. #8
    Member Wendy-Lyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    207
    @ Sara;
    Yes, the post was a bit disjointed - I did not realise how much until I just re-read it - because part of it was supposed to be a separate post - but it wouldn't 'take', it kept wanting to attach itself to that post.
    I was mainly so overcome with relief at first, and a sense of a huge weight lifted, and I just couldn't wait to tell you all - then the emotions started crashing in, with all the self-doubt and confusion they sometimes bring with them. This probably accounts in large part for the latter part of my post. I am sorry.
    I have edited the OP to remove the bold formatting - I did not realise that it could be taken as 'shouting', and for that I also apologise.
    I have taken special note of your advice to 'be myself' and to not get caught up in who/what others think I should be - I was, and it was screwing me up a lot as I felt that because I wasn't that there was something 'wrong' with me. I realise now, that it's them - not me.
    Also, thanks for taking the time to respond in such a way as you did - I'll be taking that on-board and giving it a lot of thought. I have come to a resolution on some of the issues/questions which have been bombarding my mind, and feel better this morning because of it.

    @ Lana Mae;
    Thanks also for your input, you raised a few matters, some of which I've been mulling-over already. I like the comment about introspection - I've been doing a LOT of that lately.
    About all I can say at the moment is that this looks like it's gonna be one hell of a ride.
    Last edited by Wendy-Lyn; 01-06-2022 at 05:47 PM.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1,160
    well Wendy-lyn, it's none of my business, but my personal experience is that the few people I've told about my dressing have become emotionally close to me...probably because of the trust and acceptance...so perhaps your sister in law may be a potential companion. Again, forgive me for being presumptuous....I don't know either of you or anything about your past relationship....it's
    just a thought

  10. #10
    Member Wendy-Lyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    207
    @ Audrey;
    Yes, my sister-in-law and I have always been fairly close - and more-so since my brother's illness and passing.
    There could never be anything more between us, for several reasons - one of which being that I remind her way too much of my brother.
    But I am very glad to have her as a s-i-l and as a confidante - as I said earlier, she is a very special woman.
    Last edited by Wendy-Lyn; 01-07-2022 at 12:41 AM.

  11. #11
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2021
    Posts
    62
    Wendy-Lyn it seems to me that your SIL can now become an ally to you that you need and want at this point in your life. Coming out is such a huge risk and one we should never take lightly. I admire the courage you had to do that. As for how far to go and the timing in order to do so can only be a matter for you to decide. I feel the group here is going to be with you and will support you as you move forward with your decisions. Just ask and I know we will all be here for you.

  12. #12
    Member Wendy-Lyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    207
    Thank you so much, Jenni.
    Without this forum and the support of my S-I-L and my friend, I'd still be a bit 'lost in the wilderness' over this whole thing.
    I thought I was all good with 'just panties and an occasional skirt' for years - it's only recently that it's suddenly become so much more - and it's a bit of a challenge to say the least.
    Thank you, and thanks to everyone here, for helping me to better understand what and where I am, and to start to embrace and enjoy it at last.

  13. #13
    New Member SylphDevine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Posts
    9
    Thank you for your thoughtful thread, Your story is unique.

    The only person I've come out to is my wife, and although she's very supportive it's s till a little awkward being around her fully dressed.

    Good luck in your search!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State