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Thread: How do you respond?

  1. #1
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    How do you respond?

    I always had issues accepting compliments. I dressed funky tonight, with a maxi wide cowl neck 3/4 sleeve maroon dress because I'm trying to give my toes a rest and wearing men's slippers. But then wife says I look classy like the royal Kate.

    Really? I appreciate the warm thought, but totally lost on how to respond and how to take it. Embarrassed all I could come up with was "oh, thank you".

    Comments? Ideas?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Hi SirDonna,

    I find it gets easier with practice.

    Marion

  3. #3
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    I think all you had to do was say, "oh, thank you!" and give your wife a hug. No need to feel embarrassed!

  4. #4
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    You had the right answer IMHO, "Oh, thank you so much."

    Plus, a huge smile with your whole face, not a fakish toothy grin.

    No embarrassment required.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    You made the correct response, nothing more needed at that point.
    Crissy

  6. #6
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    "Oh, thank you" is a perfect response. More importantly, your wife is accepting, just be happy about that.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  7. #7
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    It was a two part question, just not formed very well.

    So how do you reconcile A-your view of a mirror image of dress being not very good, and B- someone saying you look very good?
    Do you reexamine the mirror image? Does your interpretation of the mirror image change? Or, is change not possible,so the alternative view must not be accurate?

  8. #8
    Time to step out! Erin77's Avatar
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    In my experience we are always hardest on ourselves. It's hard to see through someone else's eyes and even harder to know what they are thinking. If they are genuine and give a compliment we just need to say thanks! And accept it with gratitude.

  9. #9
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Always accept compliments graciously.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  10. #10
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    I only ever had that happen once in person.
    A good friends wife said she really liked a dress I had on and said it looked good on me

    I blushed and said thank you.
    I do love that dress. One of my favorites
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  11. #11
    Member Billie's Avatar
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    Responding to complements is hard, but gets easier as it happens. I still sometimes have to look at my nails when someone complements them, it's been over two years of having them done. Clothes and hair are really strange to get. Smile and saying thank you doesn't seem enough and complementing them back can feel too much.

    I have noticed that women have the same issues when you complement them first. Christmas nails were pretty awesome this year.

  12. #12
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    I think many times compliments are a way to open a conversation, a polite intro and it shows interest in the other person in a non-threatening but supportive manner. I will say that the last time I was out the SA and her manager were very complimentary on my jewelry and look in general, I thought I was OK but then we could talk about other things with the compliments acting as an ice-breaker.

    We shouldn't put too much thought into the whole thing, just enjoy that we are out and interacting and no one has reached for the pitch fork!

  13. #13
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    That was a nice compliment from your wife!

    You did just perfect. Smile and say thank you.

  14. #14
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Best reply? YOURS!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  15. #15
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    Thank you is more than enough.

  16. #16
    Member SuzyZahn's Avatar
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    Very nice. Brings back a great memory of me with wife.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Compliments tend to surprise and almost unnerve me. I think of myself as a humble person, with plenty to be humble about. The best response is to thank the compliment-er. You could respond with a leading question, like "you really like it?" to invite specifics, but it can be awkward.

    A couple years ago a lady photographer took my (male) picture, in a semi-candid setting. She touched base with me some time later (she had forgotten to ask my name) and told me what a great response she got from that picture. I looked into it and the comments were beyond what I could reconcile in my mind. It still puzzles me.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raychel View Post
    I only ever had that happen once in person.
    A good friends wife said she really liked a dress I had on and said it looked good on me

    I blushed and said thank you.
    I do love that dress. One of my favorites
    I guess I should clarify my earlier remarks.

    I've been complimented en femme a number of times by random GGs as I walked past them or by CDs when out socially with them. The first time, I was shocked, and didn't have any response at all. The GGs that complimented me were typically just girls in the mall or outside, and seemed to be quite genuine. How could I not respond by saying, "Oh, thank you."

    While in 100% male mode, I've often complimented GGs on their clothes, jewelry, nail polish, makeup or perfume. I always get a "Thank you" and often a discussion about where they got it, or where I could get it. I got quite an exposition on a perfume once from a GG. I still don't know if she though I wanted it for me or my SO.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 01-10-2022 at 05:09 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member Linda K.'s Avatar
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    There are things that another set of eyes see about us that we can never see about ourselves. Most times, those other set of eyes see the good we don't see. Try to see it from her eyes. Perhaps you could have asked, "What do you like about it?" Maybe then you could look at yourself a bit differently!

  20. #20
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    Thank you !!!

  21. #21
    Member Wendy-Lyn's Avatar
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    I rarely get compliments on my looks or appearance in male mode - and never as Wendy because I've been so closeted.
    So when I came out to my S-I-L recently, and she said I looked very pretty as a woman, I literally floated on a cloud for several days. And last night an old GG friend visited for a couple of hours. She's known I dress for decades, but had never seen me fully en-femme. She saw some of my pics and said 'Wow! You look pretty hot as a woman'. So now I'm back on that cloud again. Needless to say I thanked her, and said I was very flattered (I was). We have organised a tentative dinner date here at my place - she will buy the food, I will cook it, and then we're going to have a 'girls' night in' together. I'm so looking forward to it.

  22. #22
    Silver Member Barbara Jo's Avatar
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    Just about 2 weeks ago I went grocery shopping as Barbara as I often do......I was wearing a pencil maxi skirt with a quite feminine colorful pattern. that was appropriate for colder weather.

    As I was loading the grocery bags in my car a car pulled in right next to me
    As the women in that in that car got out she said to me, "'That is a very pretty skirt". I just said."thank you", in a tone that showed that I appreciated the compliment..
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 01-11-2022 at 07:12 PM.
    Happiness is not a future condition. It is a Present state of mind.
    "When the rich take money from the poor it's called business,when poor people resist it's called violence" - Mark Twain
    "It's all right now, I learned my lesson well.,You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself." - Ricky Nelson

  23. #23
    Junior Member
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    Thank you is always a perfect response Donna, in my case that's what I say to my boyfriend and it's usually followed by an "I love you" also.

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