Purging

[Crissy 107]

I have noticed a good amount of new members here recently and thought I would bring up Purging.
Just do not do it! Through the years so many of us have purged so many beautiful things, many of which cannot ever be replaced.
We all have/had our own reasons but guilt and shame come to mind for me. I really thought I could dump my collection and maybe that would end my interest in crossdressing, well that did not work. All that I accomplished was to feel sorry about it at some point.
Please just do not do it!

[Mermaiden]

I agree, Crissy, the drive to CD never really goes away. It may wax and wane, but always comes back. Better off accepting that rather than fighting it. But there is room for donating the clothes that don?t fit or look right; things that stay on the hanger and don?t get worn.

[GretchenM]

I completely agree. Over the 60 years that I have been doing this off and on, purging has never worked. I suppose for a few it does work, but in my view this behavior is most likely a large part of your identity and is rarely just a hobby. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," might well apply here. Of course getting rid of some of the volume we sometimes accumulate is not purging - everybody does that once in awhile. Our female things are a representation of something we experience much more deeply. Purging is like trying to throw away an important part of your personality and that will leave a hole that is not easily filled with something else.

[Emleeboy]

I've purged a few times in my life and vow never again. It's a huge loss to get rid of clothes but honestly my biggest purge regret are photos.. I've taken so many over the years and i totally wish I could see and share those somehow. I'm not the same person today physically and mentally, but those times when I took the pictures where special.

[kimdl93]

Good advice

[ziggie]

I am in total agreement! It is one thing to cull the items that are worn, outdated, and no longer fit, but you will regret a true purge.

[Lacey New]

Guilty. Due to several moves, downsizing and trying to transport my stash, I have purged multiple times and have gotten rid of some wonderful things. Who knew that tou would never be able to find a nice white garter belt and gartered stocking in Macys again? Or a lovely size 42A soft cup Glamorise bra from Catherine?s?

[Rachelakld]

I've just purged.
moved from a 3 bedroom home with big wardrobes, down into my converted garage (1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1 kitchen, 1 living room and a tiny wardrobe).
Now wife has more dresses than me

[alwayshave]

Crissy, Could not agree more. You will always regret it.

[AnelineM]

Geesh, I've lost track of how many times I've purged my entire wardrobe thinking that "This time I really mean it, I'm quitting!" And absolutely yes, I always regret it later.

There is just one positive thing about purging, which is that I have a really hard time throwing anything girly away. Like shoes that make my feet turn funny colors, dresses that not even Mom would like, and a wool skirt that made me itch every time I put it on. Gone. Thanks to purging.

So, if you really think you're going to quit for good this time, put everything in a box in deep storage. If time passes and you can't remember what you did with your CD stuff, pat yourself on the back, you did it! Celebrate by buying a new outfit! Oops, I did not say that.

[josie_S]

I also can't count how many times I've purged by now. Still not cured, and still think a lot about all the cute clothes and shoes and so on that I wish I still had. I think once I decided to stop purging, I started to accept myself a little bit more, and that led me to be a little kinder to myself. Sometimes you need to "purge' clothes that don't fit or shoes that hurt your feet (and that itchy wool skirt that Aneline mentioned--I had one of those too!), but I have never managed to purge myself, and i think that's what that purging represented for me.

Don't purge! You're beautiful!

[Crissy 107]

Thanks everyone for helping to get the message out to our newer members to not purge, it is such a terrible thing and it is inevitable that you feel bad later.
As we know the desire to crossdress WILL be back

[Kris Burton]

An excellent PSA announcement. Maybe a banner all new members should receive.

[Debbie Denier]

I agree Chrissy the urge never goes away . I have purged many times and it always comes back . I think you have to take into account circumstances. As my wife is not accepting, my last purge was the worst.My mother was accepting but she passed away in Sept 2020: We cleared her house last year. I had to dump the entire contents of the feminine wardrobe I kept there. It was heartbreaking. Back into the closet for me and underdressing or my marriage would be over. 2 grown up daughters still at home.Wife working from home means opportunities virtually zero . But hey ho.

[Angela Marie]

I purged twice. Huge mistake. This resulted from guilt feelings regarding my crossdressing. When I finally accepted that I was transgender the guilt lifted and I have not had the inclination nor desire to purge again. Coming to grips with who you are does wonders.

[Kelli_cd]

Crissy, you're so right. I've done the same in the past. So many beautiful pieces that can't be replaced. And eventually the desire to dress always comes back. So now I've accepted who I am, and have not felt that need to purge.

[Erin77]

Oh the dreaded purge. Bane of a crossdressers existence! Purged too many times growing up... Wish I never had. So many things I wish I had back!! I like the PSA banner idea too! Do some soul searching before you decide to purge and as others have stated realize the urge does not go away.

[NancySue]

Crissy, you are totally correct. Period. I, occasionally go through my things with the thought of purging, but I always find tops, skirts, dresses, I forgot about. Fun.

[Beverley Sims]

Purge,
I do it regularly to thin my wardrobe out.

Who needs a hundred bras and fifty skirts to dress in?

The secret is stash it somewhere for 6 months and then look at it again.

If you grow out of it just think, you may grow into it again.

I was a fourteen but I am now a size sixteen in a teen size.

[Crissy 107]

Thanks for all the responses so far

I think thinning of the herd to get rid of items that are worn out or out of whatever style you like is not purging. That is just making room for some nice new things

[DanielleCD]

I have purged numerous times in my life. Never again... it's like denying who you are and nothing good will come of it.

[Stephanie47]

I totally agree. My intense self loathing, self hatred period was when I was a teenager. During that time I wore my mother's undergarments. I had not yet started to acquire my own clothing. In the beginning of my journey I did not know anything about women's sizing. There were some dresses which did not fit properly at all. Those got donated. I should start weeding out past purchases that no longer fit me, but, I seem to have an affection for many of the garments. I still wear a pink peignoir my wife and I purchased for me in 1972.

Many times purging seems to be the outcome of a discussion with a wife. That's the time for a sit down and serious discussion of your inner self rather than some attempt to deny your inner self. You end up making promises you cannot keep, and, if you are able to deny yourself, what is the cost? Purging is not the answer.

[Maria 60]

Don't I know it. I did it once and let go of some amazing vintage slips that I can't find anymore. Regret,regret,regret.

[Kerry Michaels]

My SO and I have a great relationship, but for the cross dressing. She?s not a fan. That said, I don?t hide it but I don?t rub her face in it either. Never purged, never will. My dresses hang next to my suits.

[Gillian Gigs]

My last purge was over 20 years ago. Stopping the purges was one of the best moves I ever made. Purging only costs money out of pocket, such a waste.