Philippa Grace, welcome to the forums.
To contextualize your wife's answer we'd need to know what you exactly told her so far. What was it? That you CD in private? That you'd like going out? Spending your life as a female? Have gender dysphoria?
Leaving a few items laid out as hints doesn't translate as "she knows" (this is a common mistake here. Women have no crystal ball and certainly little to no experience of CDers). She just knows about your CDing to the extent of what you told her.
About guilt : it's not wrong to CD. But if you hide and lie, you are hurting your wife and couple (broken trust is a no go with GGs). Maybe your guilt has more to do with that than CDing.