Stupid is as stupid does.

[Helen_Highwater]

In the early days of our dressing journeys, as we perhaps make those first tentative steps out, it's sometimes too easy to get caught up in the moment, the desire to express ourselves, that we do stupid things.

I was thinking back possibly three decades when I'd dress in the car at night and go for a drive. We talk about using darkness to hide in but this night it was also foggy.

I pulled into a lay by with the view of just stepping out and walking around the car. Remember these were my earliest days. Before I could a car pulled up behind me as flashed it's lights. I must admit to being a bit panicked and quickly drove off only to be followed by the other car. What I hadn't realised was this lay by was a meeting place for Gay men!

I started to drive quicker. The fog was dense, visibility a few yards, the car behind sped up as well. I went faster, still with me. The road we were on was a dual carriageway and before long both of us were doing suicidal speeds, overtaking sensible slow moving traffic that must have thought us both mad or reckless beyond belief.

Thankfully my pursuer chickened out and slowed down and I was able to turn off the road into a side lane without my pursuer seeing me.

I could have killed myself and/or others that night. It was a valuable lesson for me in dressing and going out and being safe.

So, if you're new here and us more experienced hands say, "Not a good idea", it's most likely we've already got that tee shirt.

Your turn, what's the most daft or down right stupid thing you've done when dressing.

[Kris Burton]

MY wife does not want me to step out publicly, as she concerned for my safety. I am not going to show her this.

[MonicaPVD]

That's quite a remarkable story. It's a good thing you drove away when you did. You weren't getting away from a guy looking to hook up. You were getting away from a psycho, from what you described. With our society being a much more accepting or tolerant place, we can often forget how different things were for us as recent as a decade ago.

When I was still in my teens, I left my house dressed during the day a few times and didn't walk very far. Of course, I was nowhere near looking remotely passable and doing this in the middle of the day. I guessed that everyone was at work at that time. It was a great rush, until my nosey neighbor next door told my parents. That did not end well.

Not long after being outed by my retired neighbor, I discovered *cough, cough* certain book stores as places where I could go to dress at any time. That posed a whole new set of challenges and adventures that redefined the concept of stupid is as stupid does!

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Kris, don't show her this thread 😂. However, it's been reiterated on here many, many times that going out alone in the middle of the night is not exactly the safest thing to do under any circumstances. When was the last time you saw a non_sexworker cis woman anywhere walking or standing around alone in the darkness in the middle of the night? It just doesn't happen. Stupid is stupid, especially when it's exhilarating.

[kimdl93]

I cannot think of anything quite so frightening or dangerous in my own experience, but then I have generally been out during the day and in the relative safety of my own residential neighborhood. On occasions when I went out at night, I stuck to know LBGT friendly venues and parked nearby. I also stuck to a very rigid two drink limit?switching to soda water or alcohol free been before my judgement started to slip.

[GretchenM]

Wow, Helen. That was quite an adventure. You were very fortunate to have not have anything happen, especially on a narrow road. I have had a few experiences that were quite unnerving, but nothing like that.

[NancySue]

Wow! What an experience. Like Kris, my supportive wife has only one hesitation. Going out. Deep down I share her caution, and the risk of a flat tire, accident, police, road rage, etc. However, I?ve been out, and want to go again, especially when the pink fog blows in. I?m very careful, but one never knows.

[missjoann49]

Hi Helen, sounds like what started out to be a simple adventure, could have turned into a nightmare, glad all worked out in your favor, safe and sound

[Leslie Mary S]

Hi Helen. Great story. I know that I have done a few wild and stupid things, just can't put my finger on it. Maybe it was the night I went to shoot a DQ event. I a 71 year old, was dressed in a floral top, blue metallic mini skirt. 4" hills and a long blond wig. The stupid thing was
1: this was my first time out alone in a new city and poorly done make-up.
2: I had never walked far in those heels.
3: I was carrying about $1,000 worth of camera stuff in my large red purse. (camera body with a bright yellow protective cover, and two lens).
4: did not have a "bail-out guy setup" in the car. It was just 11 miles each way (in city driving).
5: had to stop for petrol to have enough to get home had to get out to pump my own and pay with my guy card.
6: had to go through a fast food stand (I was starving).

I did observe my one alcohol drink limit then switched to cola, which I poured into my glass from the alcoholic first drink.
No, I have never done anything stupid.

For the second visit I tamed down my look. I wore a long brown skirt and a matching top and a medium length wig and 1.5" flats. but still the camera.

See "Let's see you mini skirt Photo" #35 if you want to see that first outfit.

[Stephanie47]

Helen, that must have been terrifying. I think just the act of leaving the confines and safety of my home may end up being something "down right stupid," yet I do it on occasion. The urge needs to be scratched. I think I plan for almost every eventuality. However, as your incident points out there is always the unexpected....something not anticipated...potentially disastrous.

[candykowal]

Scary time helen, for sure...thank gosh I never had too many of those creepy thing happen with presenting.
While I was still living as Candice and presenting as a girl, I was about 20 yrs old....
Just after a dance party put on by a sorority, my girlfriend and I drove to Beer Can Alley, a railroad alley next to Lake Michigan near a small unused beach.
We were in skirts and heels, full girly mode and had a wonderful time.
I borrowed my mothers Chevy Monza, a tiny 2 seat sports car and we watched the waves.
It's quite a romantic area and we started fondling each other and ended up having sex.
That Monza is quite small and I had to open my door and kneel on the drivers seat, my high heels and nylon clad legs sticking out the door.
We didn't realize we weren't the only ones their doing what we were doing and heard a few cat calls.
Then the horns started beeping and cars starting as we finished.
The Railroad police was stopping by each car and shushing us off railroad property.
We were so crazed for sex and a personal place to do it, we often did it in car at public places as most never suspected two girls doing something like that in public.
Sometimes I would be able to use my Aunts Buick Electra Limited with a 6 way front bench seat so we never had to do it in the back seat.
Those were some of the craziest times in my life. There is nothing like presenting as a girl and fooling around with a genetic girl, in public.

[Wendy-Lyn]

Candy, that (being dressed as a woman and 'fooling around' with a genetic woman like that) has been on my 'bucket list' for a long time. I doubt it will ever happen now - but I can hope.

[Aunt Kelly]

MY wife does not want me to step out publicly, as she concerned for my safety. I am not going to show her this.

No cis woman, with any concern for her safety, would seek out dark, isolated spaces to go for walk. It's not "asking for trouble" (another debate entirely) but it most certainly is tempting fate.

Yes, I understand that for some, the thrill they get from the possibility of being "caught" is the juice that drives such behavior, but let's not equate such cases with going out as a woman as a woman would. Your wife would have virtually nothing to fear if you comported yourself as would a cis woman.

[Heather76]

I believe I can say this with a high degree of certainty. I shall never have any such experience as I simply cannot see myself going outside our house completely dressed. My wife would have a complete fit if I did. That is, unless something changed in our lives which I don't see happening. My dressing on the outside shall remain within the confines of our home. My underdressing will go wherever I go.

[Wendy-Lyn]

I sometimes go for a night walk around the quiet residential streets near my home.
But it's a small town (25,000) and I live in a very quiet neighbourhood. I've been living in this town for 40+ years and in my current home for 13 of those years.
I know my neighbourhood very well, and have at least a nodding acquaintance with many of my neighbours. I would have no qualms about approaching them while dressed if my safety was ever threatened. If that was ever the case, 'outing' myself would be the last of my concerns.
Most of the open, crowded places here are, as yet, a bit of a 'Bridge Too Far' for me, as I always seem to run into at least one person I know. I am on the Committee at my local Men's Shed, and I REALLY don't want them to know about Wendy.

[Helen_Highwater]

There's another recent thread asking the age old question about if you knew back then what you now know.....

It took me a long time and much help from here to finally realise that daylight, crowds, hustle and bustle, are our friends.

Although a scary event it taught me a lot. One, I learned to balance risk and reward. If it wasn't for my desire to go out dressed I'd never have contemplated going out driving in that fog. It was a real pea soup'er. Two, do your homework. If going out, know as much about where you're going as you can. OK I only found out about the Gay meeting point when public toilets at the lay by were demolished due to "inappropriate activities" taking place. However, since then, such as the time I first went to meet other CD'ers, I'd checked out the area on Google Street View.

Those reading this shouldn't think that it's typical of my later experiences. I've been out in public, shopped till my legs ached, travelled by bus and train, eaten in pubs and restaurants, gone to the cinema and never experienced anything remotely near that night long ago.

And the third thing I learned; if you spider sense or plain old common sense says this ain't good, listen to yourself.

[MonicaPVD]

Thank you, Helen!

[Christie ann]

Yup, dressed while driving, no male clothes, but this time I stopped at a small park to eat lunch. Took my stuff out to a table and didn’t have anywhere to put my keys ( no pockets) so I just laid them down in the bag I used to carry my lunch. A quiet time, a local police officer at the other end of the park aimed at the road in a small town speed trap. Anyway, I finish, clean up, throw stuff away and walk back to the car where I don’t have any keys. Lots of searching, looking under everything, finally I head over to the trash receptacle, pull my stuff back out, and sure enough, find my keys.

[Sandra_Dodds]

On a business trip to another city a number of years ago, I summoned up the courage to go out in skirt, heels and pantyhose at night; wearing a hoodie above; no make-up, wig, or bra etc. Literally cross dressed - half male, half female. It was a thrill and I remember a couple of girls driving past stared but I now look back and ask myself 'what was I thinking'. Not just from a safety point of view, but even from the risk of encountering someone in the lobby, the lift or the hallway of my hotel. There was no way I was blending in and there was no where to hide. Subsequent excursions have either been to secluded areas (in daylight) or totally dressed for the occasion.

[Helen_Highwater]

Sandra,

I think it's another manifestation of the pink fog except mine literally was a fog.

We're driven to do things to fill the desires and urges this lifestyle brings.

If there were the equivalent CD'ing version of the 7 ages of Man then we'd be the hormone filled naive teenager, driven but lacking life experiences and hence doing things others more mature wouldn't do.

It's all part of our dressing journey especially for those a bit older who didn't have the collected wisdom found here to call upon back then.

Perhaps it could be argued that the very fact we do these things is the measure of just how deep seated this need to dress is.

[MiniRock]

OK I only found out about the Gay meeting point when public toilets at the lay by were demolished due to "inappropriate activities" taking place.

Was the place Stonebridge Island Helen?

[Helen_Highwater]

Mini,

It was. I won't ask how you know lol.

Yep, I'll never forget tearing down the A45, pitch black, dense fog, blind panicked. Thankfully survived to tell the tale.

[Debbie Denier]

Surely Mini was not driving the other car🤣.I thought it might have been Cannock Chase. Seriously you are more daring than I am even in my dreams. I still to this day have not ventured out doors en femme. The only occasion over 35 years ago went for a walk at night in male mode but wearing high heels . During the walk I could hear a young couple approaching. I discarded the heels and carried on walking barefoot.Ironically this probably drawn more attention to me than just ignoring them . Crazy mind evaluation of youth.

[Maria 60]

Wow! Your really lucky you didn't get into a bad accident that night. For myself I believe I was about 16 or 17, and I only can put the age on it because of the car I remember it happening, It was a sports car and a little tight. I parked at a factory to get changed and back then I would half dress waist down and drive around like that. I had just taking off my pants and I was wearing pantyhose and back then I wouldn't wear panties under and I was putting on a slip, all at once I heard a door close. I looked in the mirror and a car blocked me in to the parking space, at first it looked like a police car but I realized it was those security guards. I freaked out and started going back and fourth trying to get out of that spot and not making that guy get close enough to see inside my car. Finally with no other option I went over the curb in front of me and drove threw some bushes and small shrubs. I sped off and it looked like he started to follow me but he let off. Well lesson learned $300.00 for a new front spoiler and $150.00 for a polish for the scratches. That was a lot of money back then especially I was only working part time. Now that you made me think back instead of freeking out I don't know why I just didn't cover myself and see what he wanted. I guess it's easy to think about it now but when your young, I guess I just wanted to get away.

[Helen_Highwater]

Maria,
They were different times back then. We were far more prone to hide in the shadows, or a thick fog, than we are now. Add to that with age comes experience, wisdom and greater self confidence.

If we knew back then what we now know.........

[Genifer Teal]

What I hadn't realised was this lay by was a meeting place for Gay men!

The moment I read a car pulled up behind you this is exactly what I thought. Not that I've experienced those places but I'm well aware they exist.