Email from crossdressers.com seems to have helped

[Heather76]

When I joined this group, I used an email I rarely use (a gmail.com account) and is tied to my cell phone. A few days ago, I received an email from this site. However, I was out of the house without my phone. When I got home, my wife said to me, "You got a notification on your phone while you were gone. What is crossdressers.com?" She apologized for looking at my phone; but, thought it may have been concerning a closing on a home we had sold and were due to close on the next day. I told her that looking at my phone wasn't an issue as I have no secrets. She can look at it at any time without feeling guilty as I don't care at all. I then explained to her that cd.com is a forum for men and women crossdressers and is intended as a support group. We can share our experiences, ask questions, and learn how others have dealt with some of the stigma and unacceptance of cross dressing. I told her that crossdressing is more often than not a lonely journey because it is something we (crossdressers) don't openly share with family and friends for fear of rejection. She had no issue with that at all and in the course of the conversation said she thought she was accepting of my cross dressing. I must admit, she is to the degree we are both sitting in our family room right now with me underdressed including my DD cup breast forms under my golf shirt (which show quite nicely I must admit) and she has no particular issue with it. I wear them, a bra, panties, and stockings to bed every night. The only thing she's not comfortable with at this point is me strutting around the house, and lounging around, with my lingerie in full view. I have fallen asleep in my recliner at night in full lingerie mode and she's awaken me to tell me to come to bed. So, she does see me like that.

Anyway, that email has helped ever so slightly in opening the door of communication just a bit more. As she has done one time, I did ask that if we were expecting anyone at the house, or we were going anywhere, and my bra and inserts (not breast forms) were obvious to please let me know so I could take corrective action. She assured me she would. The bottom line is she's much more accepting than I had thought she would be; but, I'm hoping with time we'll get to the point where I can wear whatever I want around the house when we're alone. As it is, I'm blessed to have her being as understanding as she is. Actually, today she called me into her sewing room about something. As we were discussing whatever it was, she flipped her hand in the air and firmly (although inadvertently) hit my left breast form. She looked at it and then at me and then said, "Oh, that's your padded bra." That was it. I got the impression it's not a big deal and is now seen as commonplace. As Gtor61 mentioned in her thread, small victories mean a lot.

[candykowal]

I really think when you have been married for a long time and are living in the "Golden Years", you tend to be more accepting of most things.
I am no spring chick anymore, I cannot help but think how many years I have left on this planet.
Who am I to tell my wife she can't enjoy something she want to do.
If it benefits her mentally to do something, there is not to many years left to do so!
I can only hope she thinks the same and I believe my wife is getting their though she is seven years younger.
She accepts my epulated soft moisturized arm and legs, wearing girdles and satin and silky underwear, buy me nail polish and allow me long fingernails.
She knows somethings I do are of a feminine nature but I cannot get my ears pierced....yet.
It's a process for me....she doesn't know it all as your wife does.

[britskye]

I enjoyed reading this. Very happy for you Heather. I'm still in the "this is brand new" phase with my wife and hoping that she'll see something we watch together or do and gain more acceptance of it, even if it is slowly. I don't want to pressure her as she has been supportive of everything else I've ever needed from her and this was a big one.
Wishing you the best.

[Stephanie47]

My wife found our computer open to this site several years ago. All she said was I should be more careful so a guest/visitor would not see it. No dust up or anything. On occasion she has found an article of clothing I failed to secure. All she has said was she folded it and placed it out of sight. No dust up. She declines to be a part of this aspect of my being, but, she does not go ballistic about it either. I have read too much of that on this forum over the years.

[alwayshave]

My wife knows I'm on this site and in the past has visited, so no concerns there. Regarding my phone, you need a fingerprint to open it. My ex-wife was such a snoop that I got use to locking everything down. Not that I had anything to hide, just that I'm an attorney and had attorney-client privilege information on my phone and didn't want her reading it. As well as a snoop, she was a terrible gossip. 20 years later, I still use the same operational security because of her.

[Krisi]

I get e-mails and other messages all the time from people and organizations that I have nothing to do with. It's too late now but you could have told her it had nothing to do with you.

[Heather76]

In response to a few comments, I really have no total secrets from my wife. We are still in the phase of my cross dressing that she'd rather I not tell her every detail. She's well aware of my "padded" bra but she hasn't actually seen the breast forms. She did see the water balloons I used to use. Has she seen either of my dresses? I have no idea. If she's been into the guest bedroom closet lately then she has. I expect the pest control guy that was in the house today probably thought the bralette I had washed and hung in the bathroom to dry belonged to my wife. She saw it and doesn't say a thing. I have no problem with her knowing I'm on this site. In fact, there is a story on here that I've copied a small portion of to show my wife at some time in the near future. I think it will offer her a new perspective.

The only thing we both hate is when my phone notifies me in the middle of the night that I have a message. The alarm tends to wake us both. It is most commonly some "23 year old woman" offering her "friendship" by way of a spam email. All I have to do is clink on the provided link. Yeah, right. I will never understand why the phone companies can't put an end to phishing.

[Maria 60]

Small steps and communication is what it's all about, especially communication. We have a very open relationship, as yourself my phone and I pad are always out in the open with nothing to hide. As long as your are both willing to sacrifice and find a happy medium that everyone wins and everyone is happy it will come slowly.